To not want to be a godparent

[Smarshian]

Very close friend has asked me to be godparent to her ds2. We have been friends for years and I love both her ds.

I am however quite uncomfortable with the idea of standing in church and essentially lying about how I will bring the child up under god or whatever it is you say. I am not religious and nor is my friend. She is just getting him christened as she did ds1.

I thought she knew that I wouldn't want to when I responded to her announcement to christen ds1 with why?!

She handed me a little will you be my godparent card today. Christening is in 2 weeks. I'm really not sure I want to do it but absolutely don't want to upset her or for her to think that it's a reflection of how I feel about her and her boys. Argh

Help please?!

Yanbu

I was asked when I was in my early 20s and was so chuffed I didn't think about the God bit (I'm an atheist). I had to stand up in church and repeat after the minister "I repent of my sins" and "I believe in..." I don't remember, something that is farcical to me.

I am still horrified at myself that I did it, in front of people to whom those statements mean a lot.

But a lot of people do it even if they don't believe. Maybe it's overthinking and other people are happy to just lie?

I chose not to get my ds christened because it would be meaningless to me, so to me your friend is doing something strange... but lots of people do get their kids christened because it's traditional even if they don't believe. I don't get it myself! Often I think it's just an excuse for a party We asked 2 friends to take the godparent-type roles but without the god bit, but it's not formalised.

You've left it a bit late but I would really raise your concerns with your friend. Or at the very least try and find out what she wants you to commit to.

I recently became a godparent even though I don't believe in God and initially felt uncomfortable about it.

The mother herself is a Christian, but goes to an non-traditional church. I felt that if she was happy for me to be a godparent even though she knew I wasn't religious, that was a big factor for me.

The service wasn't as traditional as the typical C of E one linked above. The promises we made as godparents were to support and love and watch out for the child, and there was an allusion to Christian values and God but quite vague. As I do believe in a lot of Christian values, just not the god part exactly, I was comfortable enough doing it all.

My cousin asked me to be a godparent to one of his children and I didn't feel like I could turn him down so I agreed, but was massively uncomfortable about it. I wouldn't do it again and would explain my reasons why.

I was squirming just being in the ceremony for my friend's baby's christening. It's different to a wedding - they just ask if you love and support the couple, not to help them be better Christians. No way would I be a godparent in a church.

(the parents in this case weren't Christians either btw - and if it was an excuse for a party, then I missed the point - it was the most singularly dull thing I've done this year)

I have a God daughter and I did all the required stuff at the church even though, like you, it means zero to me, but at the end of the day I wasn't doing it for me, I was doing it for my friend and my God daughter. I am not saying you should either way, because I whole heartily admit to being hypocritical in that sense, but I've also been to plenty of church weddings, and even been a maid of honour where the bride and groom aren't seen for dust back in church after the ceremony is over.