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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get annoyed that a teacher gave out sweets as a reward

48 replies

NoRoomForALittleOne · 18/09/2017 20:31

DD1 (10yo) has just told me all about a maths race-style quiz that she did today at school. She is extremely good at maths so she loved the challenge and won with a clear 5 minute margin (I hate to think how other children may have felt making maths in to a competition but that is another thread). Anyway, before they started the race, they were told that the fastest of each of the three groups would be given a sweet. Not sure exactly healthy but not terrible practice.

However... DD1 is the top of her year group in maths and is especially quick with mental arithmetic. It wasn't a surprise that she won. The problem I have is that she has type one diabetes. She can't have the sweet. It was her regular teacher who knows that she can't have sweets.

I know that DD1 would have loved the race and simply enjoyed winning without a prize. But I also know how disappointed she was that she couldn't have the prize. I'm even more annoyed that they haven't told me that they use sweets as prizes in school. I could easily have given them some small chocolates that she could have if they had told me. I don't even expect them to buy her something different.

She hates feeling 'different' because of her diabetes and is increasingly self conscious about it. I don't think it's very inclusive behaviour. They wouldn't be offering nuts as prizes if they had a child with a nut allergy in the class. So why offer sweets with a type one diabetic in the class?

Am I being precious about it? AIBU to be annoyed that they are giving out sweets as prizes?

OP posts:

Mulch · 18/09/2017 20:36

I read your title and thought you were being precious but after reading your post I don't think it's particularly mindful of her teacher. Bribery in general has a bad name but helps the world go round, they should have multiple incentives that don't exclude children

Ttbb · 18/09/2017 20:36

If they have diabetics in the class then they really should use something else.

leccybill · 18/09/2017 20:40

Teacher probably grabbed a multi pack of Haribo at the garage this morning without a thought. One sweet is a tiny token prize.
I'm sure your talented DD was thrilled to win first place and wasn't bothered about the sweet, but for some kids who struggle with maths, and many do, it might have been a nice moment to win one sweet.
Yes perhaps sending in the diabetic chocs would be a helpful thing to do.

I have a prize box which contains sweets and lollies, plus tokens like rubbers, stickers, bouncy balls. I buy it all myself and it just brings a tiny moment of pleasure to the day for those who win the raffle (participation and good work earns a ticket).

MrsClegane · 18/09/2017 20:43

At the school my children go to, there is a tradition of when its someone's birthday the children bring in a treat for everyone...say sweets, buns or a cake. I remember when we took haribos in for everyone and the teacher had a look what it was, and then fished out other treats for children who couldn't have haribos... really to buy a pack of sweets specifically for your child (or the chocs you said she can have) wouldn't break the school budget.

Though maybe suggest they use some other sort of incentive.... a pencil or eraser for example... you can pick them up cheap enough!!!

though our school has maths challenge things... I don't think the children get anything more than pride for getting through the rounds or winning.

ilovesooty · 18/09/2017 20:48

wouldn't break the school budget

I would imagine this is coming out of the teacher's own pocket.

leccybill · 18/09/2017 20:52

Exactly ilovesooty

Perhaps tiny novelty rubbers are 4 for £1 in Tesco. That's £8 to cover your class of 30-31 just to give them a tiny most-probably -forgotten-about prize.

School budgets are struggling to pay their staff wages and heat and light up their buildings. There's no money for anything nice like this.

SaucyJack · 18/09/2017 20:54

I think YANBU in your particular circumstances.

Would crisps do instead?

Hedgehog80 · 18/09/2017 20:55

My dd2 (7) has type 1
The school used to have a lot of spir if the moment food related activities e.g. Pancake day, cakes for someone's birthday and I made it clear that everyone had to be able to join in or nobody could have whatever it was. They now plan ahead and let us know so we can work out the carbs in whatever it is/provide an alternative so dd never misses out.
Maybe you should go in and have a meeting with the school about inclusion and ask them to let you know if an activity like this is planned again.
Is your dd on MDI or a pump? If MDI I can see why this sort of thing may be a bit more difficult
The school really need to be reminded that nobody should be excluded all it takes is good planning x

Karlakitten1 · 18/09/2017 20:55

Out of the school budget? Are your children at private school? At an everyday, non fee paying school there isn't the budget for printing and other basic resources, nevermind stretching to sweets for prizes. That's from our own pocket. However, I do agree that maybe something different could have been offered.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 18/09/2017 20:56

Take some in. There is a diabetic child in dd's class and they have their own treat box. Also a child who is Muslim has halal treats. It would have been nice if the teacher had let you know that they use sweets as treats but now you do. Did they even manage to dig out a sticker for her?

purplecorkheart · 18/09/2017 20:56

I wouldn't't be annoyed but maybe head to poundland and get something like a nice biro, hair bobbles etc that your dd's teacher could have if you dd wins.

purplecorkheart · 18/09/2017 20:56

I wouldn't't be annoyed but maybe head to poundland and get something like a nice biro, hair bobbles etc that your dd's teacher could have if you dd wins.

cherrycola2004 · 18/09/2017 20:58

YANBU
Why not give out prize cards or rosettes to display at home.

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 18/09/2017 20:59

As nicely as you can, give teacher had he feedback and some diabetic chocolate at next parents' evening. Of course prizes come out the teacher's pocket and that teacher, certainly at secondary, may be teaching 240 kids.

Blackcatonthesofa · 18/09/2017 20:59

I don't see the problem. She could have kept the sweet anyway and eaten it when she is a bit low.

T1 myself. I eat anything I like, only not always at the time that I would like.

cherrycola2004 · 18/09/2017 21:00

Also, as a type 1 we can have normal chocolate, cakes and treats it just needs to be planned for so we can count carbs and adjust insulin dose. Diabetic choc worse than the sweets

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 18/09/2017 21:00

had he?

give the teacher said feedback

Hedgehog80 · 18/09/2017 21:04

Really wouldn't advise diabetic chocolate-gave dd terrible diarrhoea!
Regular chocolate actually works out really well I think it's because it contains some fat it never causes a spike in bg. Haribo tyoe sweets are a bit trickier but Deleon Danny on bg we sometimes give insulin then wait up to 15 mins before she eats. Other times especially if bg is low or dripping she can have them immediately after insulin or without any-we have a pump though and this has made a massive difference in this type of situation

manicinsomniac · 18/09/2017 21:04

It was a bit thoughtless but it can be tricky. I don't like giving out food prizes personally but it is quite difficult to find other things that are affordable in bulk.

Children where I work are allowed to bring in cake on their birthday and children with allergies can go to the school kitchen for alternatives which their parents tend to bring in in special boxes. I once had a child in my class who was allergic to nuts, gluten, dairy AND egg!! He kept a packet of sweets in my top drawer - no idea what was in them!

Hedgehog80 · 18/09/2017 21:05

Deloen danny- depending on !!!

Original poster

NoRoomForALittleOne · 18/09/2017 21:09

She doesn't like to treat hypo with sweets, always uses glucotabs (she is HF ASD as well with many food 'rules' so frankly I'm happy that she will take the glucotabs and I am not about to start breaking her rules when she is hypo). But yes, she could have normal chocolate that I am happy to provide as I don't expect the teacher to pay for my daughter's special needs (or anything else). Thankfully she is on a pump so she could happily have chocolate at any point as long as she knows the carb content and boluses for it.

OP posts:

nottwins · 18/09/2017 21:09

This was primary so the teacher will have one class and she would have known about the diabetes. I think that's pretty poor myself - like the analogy with the peanut treat if you've got a child with a nut allergy.

But in any case, what is wrong with little smiley face stickers? SO many children at primary now are overweight or obese, or just have no idea about healthy eating. It does my head in that teachers go straight for sweets as a 'reward'...

Inertia · 18/09/2017 21:12

Somewhat taken aback by the people who think that this sort of thing comes out of school budgets. Teachers are paying for the prizes for their classes, just as they are paying for the equipment in classrooms. I've just spent close to a tenner for consumables that my class need for science and geography this week.

Teacher probably was unreasonable, given that she knew about the diabetes and presumably how it's managed with your daughter, but was probably horrified once she realised. We've moved away from sweets as prizes (healthy school)and small token prizes like rubbers (too expensive), and we've gone for cheap trophies which are awarded for the day and stay in school.

spangleknickers · 18/09/2017 21:13

I work in a school and would sometimes - very rarely - give out halal sweets as rewards or treats. Our kids were around 50/50 muslim so decided to go for the dietary requirements. The kids loved the occasional treat - and when one type 1 girl was having a hypo it helped that I had some ready glucose for her. Everything came from our own pockets...as did the other, non sweet gifts we gave them and most of the book covers, extra stationary, glue sticks etc etc

spangleknickers · 18/09/2017 21:15

Oh - but YANBU - just drop a note to the teacher that you would prefer a 'no sweets' approach. They will understand

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