I could actually kill my husband today.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

We've been having some work done on the house. We've had a quote to have a bit done inside, some decorating and a new bathroom. Got the quote, ran it past dh, all well and good, trades all booked for end of October. Am so thrilled, want it all finished by Christmas. Have got new curtains etc to order, will look lovely.

Just asked dh about us going out to find a new bathroom suite in time for the decorators and plumber coming in October and he's informed me that he did not agree to any work, it's too expensive and he needs to fit a new boiler first before we do anything inside. Apparently I'm jumping the gun as usual.

I have just exploded at him that he bloody well did agree to the work, he actually needs to listen to what I'm telling him and there's no fucking way it's not being done by Christmas. He did agree to it, I told him the price and he said ok. How is that not agreeing? Or not knowing what I'm talking about?

Will be so gutted if it doesn't go ahead. Have been looking forward to getting this shithole the house finished. Could cry. Have already had to shout at the kids just to get them in the bloody bath tonight. Am not in the mood for his fuckwittery.

Is he normally like this?
Tell him Tough shit it's getting done.

I've had similar (on a smaller scale) with dh. Just stick to your guns. He didn't listen, its all organised, now he can live with it.

The real question is can you actually afford to get it done?

Oh yes. Not being funny but money isn't an object. He's just had a massive inheritance. The work won't cost a tenth of what he's currently got sitting in his back account. What better to spend some on than house improvements? I could have said well half that's mine, I'll have a new car thanks, but I'm not a greedy cow. I would however like to see this bloody house finally finished.

Feel your pain!! Have one just like it. I put any big house plans and decision in an email now to make sure he can't play the 'I never said' or 'I never agreed to that' card. My DH is lucky he's still alive.

Tell him fine shop for heating engineer and get central heating replaced

I have the opposite. Husband takes over all projects and runs full steam ahead without thinking, despite me being a former Architectural Technologist and him working in data.

Well I'm firmly in the 'my husband is a fucking twat' camp today for reasons of a similar vein, so no YADNBU!

Silverthorn please come and have a word with my dh will you?

Honestly. You should see this bathroom. I'd post a pic if it didn't massively out me. It's fucking hideous. It's been like this ever since we moved in. Think orange pine and eighties wallpaper. It's not me being flash and spendthrift, it needs gutting. With a match.

This could easily happen with my DH - he just doesn't bloody listen properly. The number of times he's been surprised when I mention something and I have to shout "WE HAD A LONG BLOODY CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY!"

Kill the bastard and we'll provide the alibi.

I sympathise with you but I wonder if it's really about the money, as far as your DH is concerned. Was he very close to the person he's inherited from? It seems likely, as you say he's inherited enough to do up your house ten times over. You don't leave that kind of money to someone you barely know!
Inheritances usually come with all kinds of difficult emotions. It's not like a lottery win. Try to treat your DH kindly, how ever infuriating it might be for you.

What a twat. Is he normally a twat?

Does HE see the inheritance as HIS?

Does he have any idea how much bathrooms cost? too fucking much
Organise the boiler to be replaced & tell him, via email, you've done it.

I will make space under the patio tomorrow, there's room for one more just.

(Oh & be prepared for MNHQ to get in touch about your thread title. Apparently, although it's a very common phrase, some people think that violence against men needs to be taken seriously & that thread titles like that should not be allowed. Eye roll. Deep sigh)

I feel like I could kill mine today too. He is off for 4 days (does shifts,) and he has fucking man-flu. A cold, a headache yada yada, and all he has done since 9am is moan and whinge and gripe and snap and roll his eyes and hang his head and sniff and blow his nose (nothing there though!) and hold his head, and rock back and forth. He has bitten my head off 10 times for fuckall and said he feels low and ill and down and miserable.

I want to fucking murder him right now. What pisses me off is whenever he is a grumpy bad mood, everyone else is affected, and the whole mood of the house is low and dark.

I fucking hate him right now.

He has fucked off to bed thank God.

I feel like going away for a few days right now.

Sorry rant over.

And yeah my husband doesn't listen half the time either, so I feel your pain.

Hope you get your issues sorted OP.

I dont think his inheritance is counted as family money though in law???? Just from seeing threads on here, i have no legal knowledge, pp have said inheritance is not classed as a marital asset in divorce. I would be looking at his behaviour generally atm. Has he got more of a twat? Why doesnt he want to spend money on the marital home?

Tell him to crack on and get the new boiler sorted. You'll take care of the bathroom, which will be awesome when you finally have a new kick ass shower installed.

DH loves a good shower - we're having our bathroom replaced as well and all he bangs on about is the shower, the position of the shower, it has to be a rain shower, will the shower be big enough. I just want to get rid of the yellow floor tiles - yes. YELLOW floor tiles - previous owners did like their primaries, that's for sure and I've suffered it for 10 whole years while we did everything else.

It was from his father. They weren't particularly close but I see what you mean about associations. Yes he does see it as his money and it is all in his bank account which I have no access to. I don't expect to have accesss to it, really, it's his money, but I don't think I'm being particularly unreasonable in expecting some much overdue decorating! We've had some stuff done outside which he was fine with. Lord knows why he's happy to leave the inside looking like it does. I said to him if we ever want to sell this house it will need a complete overhaul. I'm going to have to be firm and say no, sorry, you agreed and it needs doing and stop being an arse.

That patio's going to be full though.

I'd just do it without him. everything that's been done in our house I've been told not to do but I do it anyway and then he's like oh that's nice actually 😂 I win:)

The law on inheritance is complicated, it depends on the terms of the will, whether it has been kept seperate from family money, etc.

My husband is the same, always claiming he didn't agree to something when he did.

The last time it was actually on email which he had replied to, but apparently he meant something completely different to what he said and I should have realised that

Of course iwbu by losing my shit at that and he couldn't understand why I was so angry at him.

Is this just a general indication, do you think, of the general listening skills of the average husband?

I just thought of something else. Two nights ago, at the dinner table, after we'd finished the lovely fajitas I'd made, I asked him about the hole in the living room ceiling where a nail has popped through. He said not to worry, the plasterers would cover that up when they skim the ceiling.

So he does bloody well know all about it!

Yes,thats all men are for, kicking about and bullying. When they are not signing the right tunes they are dirt.

Gaslighting I reckon.

I could have said well half that's mine, I'll have a new car thanks

I don't think you could have said that, actually.

Well, no, probably not.

DH has started countering with examples of me not listening...I suspect it is when he has just thought something and not actually mentioned it. That's my story and I am sticking to it.