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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect after school care?

222 replies

BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 15:38

I've been Googling and I can't find the information I need. I need help.

I'm SP work FT. 2 DC in primary school

I need to change my after school care (ASC) and was going to go back to using the schools after school facility. Our school uses a provision at another primary school (we are in London) and has a "walking bus" policy to get children there.

So today I contact the ASC provider to register them to be told they no longer collect children from my school and I have to get the kids there myself.

My school says the walking bus cost X amount and they can't afford it!!!

So now our school has no ASC. I thought they had a statutory duty to provide it but I can't find the relevant evidence I need - probably because I'm in a bit of a flap!!

It seems most of the families in our school have a SAHP and there are very few FT SP's like me. I feel so alone in this.

AIBU to expect the school to provide ASC? What is the statutory duty my school has?

OP posts:
magentastardust · 18/09/2017 22:03

Could you advertise locally/gumtree for a Mother's help type thing? Advertise at local College or Uni those doing childcare /teaching /nursing courses. I used to do admin for a nanny agency and it was mainly the students from those courses who were on our books for after school childcare and nannying.

toots111 · 18/09/2017 22:05

Per my earlier post, if you can afford it I think this might be a good option for you: www.korukids.co.uk/

toots111 · 18/09/2017 22:06

Sorry meant this link: www.korukids.co.uk/after-school-nannies

toots111 · 18/09/2017 22:07

And it's £12 an hour, all in

Percivalandproud · 18/09/2017 22:07

I would look for a local university or college student to walk the DC home, supervise homework and cook dinner. Lots of families around us do this.

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 22:07

I'm
Not sure Man. It was a local council "law" for want of a better word. It did exist as the council were made to continue to fund the ASC when they tried to stop doing so. They had a duty to Ensure access to affordable ASC. I was wrong initially as I thought the duty was with the school. It was with the council who passed the obligation in to the schools.

Our school is the only school in the borough I know of who doesn't have ASC.

OP posts:
RB68 · 18/09/2017 22:11

If your current childminder collects from school can she not deliver to afterschool club? This would still be cheaper than full time CM. It would be worth finding other Mums at school in same situation (ask the head) as it may be their solution can help you out. Alternatively could one of the TAs take them for a small fee?

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 22:11

Thank you toots. you've given me my first feeling of relief/possibility I've experienced all day. I'm a bit teary now.

That looks like a great idea in case new school doesn't come through.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 18/09/2017 22:13

The ASC wanting you to take them over makes no sense. If a parent was free at that time of day they'd be doing pickup themselves, not looking for ASC! Ask them if all their kids are brought there by their parents, which they can't be. Then ask about the other transport providers. That's basically what you need and then you can continue with the lower-priced ASC. There must be someone who can be paid to walk kids from the school to the ASC. Look in your local shops for people who do odd jobs or cleaning who might also take this on?

llangennith · 18/09/2017 22:18

OP take a few slow deep breaths and try to relax.
Maybe it's time you gave your life a big overhaul. Consider all your options like changing your job and/or moving house along with changing your DC's school. Just a thought.
I know all about being a single parent of 3 young DC with no support and you have to be adaptable.

toots111 · 18/09/2017 22:21

We have a childminder who does our pick up but other local mums have used them (Koru). Other people have found after school nannies who are students who want to earn a bit of extra cash themselves through local facebook groups or adverts at universities. If you're in London there are likely some students living nearby. My daughter is VERY JEALOUS of these people because it's like a big sister picking them up and taking them to the park. She would much rather we did this, but my youngest is at the childminders all day so it doesn't make sense. Fingers crossed they will have someone nearby and hopefully someone great who you and the kids love

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/09/2017 22:23

My Old school was the same demographic as yours OP . We left and am happier to be in a school with more
Working parents and a more similar demographic to me . Although it was wrench for a term they settled

And yes look for students and people who might want to be paid for part time work that's why my SIL does

Hang tight you will get through this Flowers

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/09/2017 22:24

And don't change job as
If you like it and are stable that's GOLD dust

just5morepeas · 18/09/2017 22:26

Could you advertise for a babysitter/someone just to walk them from school to the asc? Would be an easy bit of pocket money for an older teenager.

herethereandeverywhere · 18/09/2017 22:35

Another voice of support for you, OP. By far the most stressful thing about my job is not my job at all - it's the resultant planning/arranging/rearranging of childcare during term and holiday time and various school demands (and I'm lucky enough to have a working DH - never around as he's so busy but does provide financially).

It is shit and I despair that in the 21st century in the UK this is the 'best' we can do. It is wholly inadequate and needlessly stressful.

I just want to say keep on keeping on - 20 years in an enjoyable job that understands you is worth its weight in gold. I really hope the new school you have in mind has places, it sounds like you all need a bit of a change. I'm sorry it is so hard and you really deserve a break. If I was in the UK in your area I'd offer coffee and sympathy (at the weekend because I WORK too Wink)

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 22:39

Llange I am in the middle of giving our lives a massive overhaul. It involves moving out of London (priced out) and working from home. First I need to sell my shared ownership flat and I can't begin to tell you what a crick of absolute shite doing that in the current market involves.

It's another thread entirely and involves a lot of swearing.

In the meantime I still have to go into the office everyday and I still need affordable reliable childcare.

I need to deal with professionals. I can't be wondering every day if person XYZ has turned up to walk the DC in the rain to ASC for a fiver or whatever. That is not a reliable permanent solution to anything. As for SAHM option so many are suggesting, MN is full of threads of SAHM's screaming with rage for being asked if they will look after other people's children. Nevertheless I did ask my network and no one wants to do it. Even if they did IME it is not a reliable FT option.

OP posts:
Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 22:42

Thanks herethere and others being kind and getting this.

I juggle fuckwittery for a living. It's a walk in the park compared to this.

OP posts:
Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 22:43

And stopfucking - cheers. Grin

OP posts:
Haudyerwheesht · 18/09/2017 23:03

Don't rule out SAHP on governors body etc as being sympathetic and helpful. I'm one of those sahp on a parent council and I care and want to find a solution because that's why I'm a sahp. It was a choice in the early years but now, because of lack of spaces / affordability I can't go back to work and it's devastating.

Almostthere15 · 18/09/2017 23:04

It is so hard to get an arrangement in place I really feel for you. I cant see an informal/ad hoc arrangement helping. Why would you need asc if you could take them?!

Without decent wrap around care we'll never solve the pat gap imo.

So I have nothing useful to offer except buckets of sympathy.

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 23:06

But llange - needing affordable reliable ASC for max 3 hours per day, is hardly something that should have to involve a "life overhaul" really is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/09/2017 23:08

Yes I know I'm not alone. It's dreadful.

It's another so called "Women's problem" that is completely undervalued by society.

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 18/09/2017 23:13

You may already have found it, but I think this is the link you were looking for: www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/525135/Rights_to_request_guidance.pdf

Wheels79 · 18/09/2017 23:23

I was astonished to find that my DC's school only had 30 breakfast club and ASC places for approx 900 pupils. Applied in January. Offered nothing. Thankfully I work locally so can make the time of our CM's pick up but some wanted pick up by 5!

LonginesPrime · 18/09/2017 23:30

OP, I feel your pain - it's so utterly frustrating when you only actually need that tiny sliver of childcare that would take someone just a few minutes a day but that's absolutely essential to make sure everyone's where they're supposed to be.

And it's especially annoying when you know a walking bus (which isn't even a real fucking bus..) could quite easily get them there but won't.

Like a few PPs, I was also gong to suggest asking local sixth forms if you could put an ad up on their notice boards for a student - I know you want someone reliable and professional, but if you can find a student you get on with, I'm sure there are quite a few who'd be keen for the extra money and a good reference.

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