to expect after school care?

[BorisTrumpsHair]

I've been Googling and I can't find the information I need. I need help.

I'm SP work FT. 2 DC in primary school

I need to change my after school care (ASC) and was going to go back to using the schools after school facility. Our school uses a provision at another primary school (we are in London) and has a "walking bus" policy to get children there.

So today I contact the ASC provider to register them to be told they no longer collect children from my school and I have to get the kids there myself.

My school says the walking bus cost X amount and they can't afford it!!!

So now our school has no ASC. I thought they had a statutory duty to provide it but I can't find the relevant evidence I need - probably because I'm in a bit of a flap!!

It seems most of the families in our school have a SAHP and there are very few FT SP's like me. I feel so alone in this.

AIBU to expect the school to provide ASC? What is the statutory duty my school has?

[BorisTrumpsHair]

I keep expecting DC to express some regret or anxiety but they are both super excited about change of school.

[OlennasWimple]

the new school sounds fab.

Make sure you tell the old school why you are moving away, though

[BorisTrumpsHair]

Oh yes they know.

[Groovee]

Glad things have worked out x

[Sofabitch]

I remember this feeling so well! Esspecially as i was taking mine out of an Ofsted rated excellent school.

But honesly it was the best move i ever did. I have never had a single regret.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

That is awesome to hear Sofa!!
We meet with new head tomorrow morning.

DD1's teacher came out to say how sad she was to hear we are leaving - she is a lovely teacher and I know my DC will be missed in class.

I do hope leaving school don't create too much of a song and dance about the DC leaving. While it is nice to be missed I really don't want the school making a big wailing fuss about it and upsetting the DC who quite frankly are disappointed they aren't starting a new school today. No doubt saying goodbye will be sad for them though.

[HopefulHamster]

Congrats OP! How old are the kids? My son would hate a move but he's quite a sensitive soul - sounds like they are well up for it and should benefit everyone in the end.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

Y5 & Y2. they are doing well so far. I'm on alert though :)

[BoffinMum]

You'd be surprised how similar primary schools can be these days

[BorisTrumpsHair]

Great meeting with Head today and thorough look around new school. It has gigantic footprint, though single entry. Massive playgrounds (we are used to very little outdoor space). Lot's more facilities than current school, more music, more sport, DC met new teachers who seem to be lovely. Plus 18! after school clubs and affordable after school care.

What a week it's been - I feel a lot better this side of the week than I did at the beginning. Thanks again for the sanity check and support everyone.

[DeadGood]

" if no one else exists with similar needs then yabu to expect there to be anything."

Yes, how ridiculous that a single parent working full time should expect any sort of help whatsoever.

[DeadGood]

Sorry missed all your updates OP. A new door has opened! Best of luck x

[BorisTrumpsHair]

Actually it turns out there is a need for it at our school - but working parents are somewhat invisible as they aren't picking up (I do drop off - some don't drop off either) .

There has been a lot of changes in the school last couple of years and they are now looking at implementing something later in the year (so I've now been told). No good for me of course. But the school does seem to be realising if they don't offer affordable ASC parents will use other schools who do, pupil premiums will drop and they the school will lose out.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

A new door has opened!
Absolutely it has - thank you.
I can be so resistant to change but now I'm on the other side it feels AMAZING!

[BoffinMum]

A rare case in which marketisation actually works.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

I googled marketisation and I'm still not sure I know what it means.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

do you mean the threat of losing pupil premium means schools put on ASC's when would rather not bother?

[HairStylisttoBoris]

Op I've seen you around and always felt odd about your user name....
I'm really pleased you've sorted things out. It sounds like you are doing an awesome job as a mum in a really testing situations. Hope your dcs settle quickly.

It's so unfair that this stuff hits women's careers, lives and finances, and not men's, in anywhere near the same ways.

[BorisTrumpsHair]

oooh I've been looking for you HairStylist :)

thanks for the cheer. A local single mum from school had the DC today - she has become a great support as we have gotten to know each other, and I will absolutely be keeping in contact with her and another couple of Mums too that have become friends over the years.

It is shitty that women carry an unequal burden, but you know we really fucking rock!!

I had an interesting convo with DC's father today - in response to my text telling him about school change:
Him: "So what does it mean they are leaving X school"
Me: It means they are leaving X school.
Silence - I DID NOT FILL IT.
Him clearly preparing for a fight - "were you going to tell me about it?"
Me - I have told you about it.
SILENCE
Him - "well were you going to consult me about it?".
Me - No as I remember very clearly in the summer when you said you will leave all decisions about school and changing schools to me. Do you not remember that conversation?
MASSIVE LONG SILENCE.
Him " So are they going to Z school?"
Me: No that school is private and would cost £20k each or more a year . They are going to Y school as I mentioned in my text. It is the school you picked them up from twice last school hols.
Him: Is it W school?
Me - no it is Y school. You have been there at least twice.
Him - So it is Y school?
Me - yes.
MASSIVE SILENCE
Him: So it's the last day tomorrow?
Me: Yes
HUGE SILENCE
Him: I will collect the DC tomorrow.
Me: Excellent. Goodbye

I'm getting super good at not filling silences.

Our last contact a month ago he was extremely aggressive and we haven't spoken since. so this was big success today. I now talk to him about nothing that isn't completely non-essential. This is not my usual way of dealing with life, but this is 5 years post separation and he still feels like he can be very verbally and emotionally abusive to me if I do crazy things like ask him to pay the very minimum of maintenance. So it has to be this way.

[Hairstylisttoboris]

Boris sounds like you have found a way of communicating with your ex that works. Hope your dc are ok.
Keep up the good work.
X

[BorisTrumpsHair]

First day at new school and both dc had a wonderful day!

Dd1 had a cello lesson - she is learning cello all year.
Happy days.

[LannieDuck]

So glad it went well for your DCs (and for you!) :)