to consider breaking off my engagement?

[taupealways]

I have been with my fiancée for nearly 5 years. She very recently started her surgical fellowship (specialising in plastics), and of course I am happy for her. I just don't know if I can live with her reason for choosing it.

Basically, what she said was that she chose plastics so she wouldn't have to deal with patients who are eligible for government subsidy?!?? (Not in the UK so things work differently here. AFAIK subsidies are usually awarded according to your income I think.) I know it's none of my business since it's her career but we've never discussed anything like this before and I've never known her to think this way.

We had a massive argument over it and I'm now being accused of over-reacting. Am I? I just don't really know how I feel about all this.

@vegan What do you make of people like Bill Gates, who after they make money, find ways to change others' lives by giving their money away? He's an extreme example, but I know many, many people who volunteer time and give money to those who have less.

You sound far, far too immature to be getting married, so yes, call off the engagement. Please, spare this person. Don't be a twat and blame it on her when it's actually you being not adult enough to be able to think outside the box, much less handle a commitment like marriage.

You are getting married, not becoming the same person. She doesn't have to subscribe to your way of thinking about everything. If you can't live with someone with differing political views or values then I suggest that you don't get married at all.

Sorry, but this is so hypocritical it's laughable. You work in the fashion industry yet you're judging her because she wants to make a lot of money when she enters practice. Because the fashion industry does SO MUCH to help the downtrodden and disenfranchised.

Tbh, if something like this is making you question your entire relationship and subsequent future together then you probably shouldn't be together at all.

it can't be that important of an issue to you if it hasn't come up in 5 years.

If you now realize that helping those who are less fortunate is important TO YOU, what are YOU going to do about it?

It's a bit silly judging others for something that you can't be bothered with, but there are lots of charities you could get involved with or give money to.