To ask for help dealing with misophonia? Cannot stand noisy eating!!

[Wanderlust1984]

Anyone had any luck dealing with misophonia? This has plagued me most my life. The amount of people who can't eat with their find shut is IMO ridiculous (especially adults) but I do realise it's something that's not going to change. It's so bad that I leave the room if somebody's chomping, if I can't leave I have to sit there feeling stabby. I take earplugs to the cinema in case there's anyone chomping on popcorn loudly. And my heart sinks if I clock someone bringing an apple into a meeting or reaching for chewing gum. Any other sufferers dealt with this successfully? I so wish it didn't bother me!! Some folk act like I choose to let these sounds make my life hell :(

I know.
I never even knew it had a name, my family just called it "intolerant"

Whistling to me is nails down a blackboard.
Hearing or seeing someone chewing gum makes me want to kill them. I have to plug my ears and look away.
Snoring or even night breathing drives me to the brink (strangely I loved the sound of my babies' night breathing and snuffling)
Any kind of eating in the office ESPECIALLY BLOODY APPLES

HUMMING OH MY GOD HUMMING

I need to stop.

I've suffered with this for as long as I can remember. I am lucky that it's only a handful of people that affect me, however. I get it visually too - watching my partner even touch his touch screen phone makes me so angry I could grab it from him and smash it into tiny pieces. My heart is beating faster just at the thought of seeing him in my peripheral vision playing candy crush or the likes.

Anybody else also get ASMR? It's totally the other end of the spectrum and I've always wondered if other misophonia sufferers also get ASMR.

DH has this and it really helped to find out it was A Thing. We find a big dining table and music on helps enough to make family mealtimes possible

So a quick question to all you fellow sufferers, how many of you also have its twin misokinesia ? (hatred of movement)

As I've mentioned, DD is an extreme sufferer, at 15 it's destroyed her teens she can't attend a school and is educated from home with an EHCP

We've taken years to get support from camhs but she is finally about to start cbt as she also has severe anxiety disorders

Schroedinger it's mostly just noises with me; screaming, continuous alarms, coughing snoring. But I can't stand any movement near my face, at all and no one is allowed to touch my face, I can't abide it. Interesting to find out about 2/3 of sufferers also have ASD. I don't have ASD but both my kids do. They're terrible with any loud noise but mine are much more specific.

Genuinely didn't know this was a thing. I thought I was just super hormonal/grumpy/intolerant.

I got very very stressed when DH snored and breathed loud at night. It ruined my sleep for years until he now sleeps downstairs, sofa bed.

I also have a thing with coughing. I actually felt really guilty about it as when DD had the 100 day cough, I felt rage like I'd never felt. I said to DH I couldn't stand the coughing any more, and he just said she couldn't help it, which made me feel like the worst mother ever.

Is this actually it then?

Also, I cannot have the tap running at all. It makes me very very stressed. The noise actually makes my ears start to crackle inside and I want to rip my ears off.

DH is an extremely noisy eater. The slurping, and crunching crisps send me into a rage inside. Also DS slurping/licking ice cream makes me irrational.

Strangely, I love love love the hair dryer and the hoover. Could fall asleep to the hoover, it's so calming.

It's totally the other end of the spectrum and I've always wondered if other misophonia sufferers also get ASMR

That is interesting.

Yup, I hate certain movements too, foot jiggling is a particular trigger for me.

You do all realise that you make noises whilst eating, drinking, breathing and have annoying tic habits also?

What reasons/excuse did your medical teams give for enhanced annoyance with people close to you? It must be very hard for your loved ones to have to constantly acclimate for you.

I'm sympathetic to noise sensitivity because I have ears like a bat since having vertigo and realise that it's my issue to deal with, not for everybody else to bend and capitulate.

Mycarsmellsoflavender, your son is being very unreasonable hammering on the door telling your other children to hurry up when those measures are in place for his comfort in the first place. I wouldn't entertain him.

"You do all realise that you make noises whilst eating, drinking, breathing and have annoying tic habits also?"

Yes? It's also not our fault that certain noises affect us this way. We don't choose to see red? Of course everyone makes noise. And those people that help to make it more manageable are purely being understanding and trying to help?

It must be very difficult for family members who often seem to be the target of the rage and they don't choose that either. Some posts on this thread seem really quite self-absorbed.

Mine started in my teens when my grandparents came to live with us. Neither of them had teeth and both deaf- can you imagine meal times.

I don't have a problem with eating noises that are unavoidable for some reason, e.g. Apples or crisps. However, chewing gum noise, no one needs to make those slurpy, smacking noises, it's disgusting.

Whistling and drumming fingers and rhythmic tapping too! Urgh! Tuneless whistling is even worse. It's so weird. I hate silence, so it is not as if I prefer that!

I am one of those family members - and yes it is really unpleasant to be the target of rage. I also think it's unacceptable to tell anyone that what they are doing is revolting/disgusting etc when they are eating in a perfectly normal way. We have made some reasonable adjustments (music etc) but if DH can't stand it, he knows he needs to leave the room and go to calm down,not take it out on us.

LyingWitch - I try very hard not to take anything out on other people, I don't think people are being self absorbed, I think it's rare to find fellow sufferers so it's nice to talk candidly about it and how it makes us feel. Just because I feel it, doesn't mean I'm taking it out on people or being self absorbed. Just nice to find people who understand as that doesn't happen often.

LyingWitch and ocelot that is what I was trying to get across.

Reading that people want to murder you or that you are disgusting is not kind when all you are not doing anything unusual. I don't know if my DH feels this way but I think he does and I really object when he gets angry with the dogs for a bit of barking or DD whistling - his needs do not trump the rest of ours.

For those that have done CBT for this, what did they do to try and treat it?

I realise we make noise, though I can state I NEVER eat with my mouth open or smack my lips when eating. I also prefer to eat alone in case I'm annoying anyone else. I never take it out on anyone and would prefer to NOT have this condition. It's not a choice FYI!!

But I also can state that I don't eat with my mouth open or smack my lips!

I came on this thread because I was hoping to find out how misophonia sufferers can cope, thinking I could pass on some tips to DH. Instead I've read that people with misophonia tend to live and work with disproportionately disgusting eaters and would like to murder them in a blind rage.

I can't seem to get across how hurtful that is.

I am extremely sorry that there doesn't seem to be any way to deal with it and even CBT has a limited success. I wish you all peace and some relief from this but I just want you to understand that your condition affects your family as well.

People without the condition just don't understand. It actually tarnished an otherwise fantastic childhood because I kept my feelings quiet and bottled my rage up, each meal time was pure torture and actually caused me physical pain. I've opened up to my family in adulthood and, although they don't understand, they do get that I have a 'quirk' and understand if I turn down family meals. Opening up made life so much better for me.

It's actually quite funny how many people I speak to about this also recount similar experiences. I believe the condition is far more common than people think and should have more research into cures.

@rebecca I do totally get where you're coming from. It's not the person making the noise who has the problem, it's us who react so strongly to a seemingly normal noise that have the problem. I know that it's impossible to comprehend but the rage you feel towards people making a trigger noise is so hateful, despite how quiet or loud they are being.

Rebecca - I don't want to be rude and I apologise if it comes across that way but if you are so hurt by people describing a feeling they have no control over then maybe stop reading the thread. Everyone is just sharing experiences. I can understand it's not nice to hear, but that's the honest truth of what it's like and if you haven't experienced it then you won't understand the lack of control over the feelings. Do you think I like the fact my DD has this effect on me? Of course not. People are just being honest.

I have become so self conscious as a result of living with a dh and two out of three dds with this condition. The dds accept that they have it but dh insists I'm just a very noisy eater (I'm not). I have some sympathy but it is hurtful and annoying when the person with the condition takes no personal responsibility for themself but rather blames others gor their issue.

I had never heard of this before. I am not on the spectrum, but I cannot stand anyone eating with their mouth open or loudly. I find it upsetting and disgusting. It stems from my childhood and my dm's terrible table manners. She would eat loudly and with her mouth open and I always felt embarrassed about it and would avoid social situations. Christmas was awful because she just would not stop eating all day, never ending noises. I had to leave the room in the end. I did once ask her to stop eating every minute of the day but she just said she had had enough deprivation in the war - as though she was a prisoner (she was absolutely not).

I thought it was me, but my poor dad broke ranks and said he had hoped it had improved, but it had not.

My dh used to do it for a joke but he saw how it upset me and has not done it since. I can cope generally but tend to prefer my own company.

agree that noises physically hurt. pain in the ears. something to do with there being more connections in the brain that are more active. It was a recent discovery.

I do understand that this is an illness and must be horrendous.
My mum had it and it triggered anorexia for me (obviously other stuff too).
I came to think that eating was disgusting and so was I.
I still can't eat around other people and it has had a huge impact on my life.
I know that it can't be helped, but be careful about how you handle it around your children.