To ask for help dealing with misophonia? Cannot stand noisy eating!!

[Wanderlust1984]

Anyone had any luck dealing with misophonia? This has plagued me most my life. The amount of people who can't eat with their find shut is IMO ridiculous (especially adults) but I do realise it's something that's not going to change. It's so bad that I leave the room if somebody's chomping, if I can't leave I have to sit there feeling stabby. I take earplugs to the cinema in case there's anyone chomping on popcorn loudly. And my heart sinks if I clock someone bringing an apple into a meeting or reaching for chewing gum. Any other sufferers dealt with this successfully? I so wish it didn't bother me!! Some folk act like I choose to let these sounds make my life hell :(

I wear silicone earplugs, most of the time and remove myself from situations that I can't handle. Sniffing, nose breathing, coughing and eating sounds, dogs barking, kids screaming are my main triggers.I cannot describe how happy I was when I found out it was an actual condition and that I wasn't alone......so happy.

It's also hard to live with a sufferer. Becoming so self concious of eating end up making excuses not to eat together. Feeling like me eating something is disgusting.

No. It's not the same as just not liking eating sounds. Obviously no one loves them. I think it is almost impossible to convey it to a non sufferer. As many of the responses on here demonstrate.

For me it creates a sort of 'fight or flight' reaction. My whole self is overcome by whatever the sound is. I cannot tune it out. I feel so incredibly furious, like I want to rip my ears off, scream and shout and throw things. It feels like pure torture. In that moment, I am filled with genuine disgust and hatred at whoever is making the sound. The closer the person to me, the worse I am affected. So it doesn't matter how quietly my DH tries to eat, I can't bear to be around him unless we are in a big group or noisy public place. It's not just normal eating noises, it's him breathing so I can hear it as well. I don't generally notice when other people eat or breathe things unless they are especially loud. Generally I am mainly affected by people I don't know chewing gum or eating apples, and will move away from them in a public place. But with my DH, and my mum, it's anything they eat. I have to wear earplugs at home a lot.

Equally I cannot 'be kind' as a pp has suggested. It's really not that simple. Its a physical, nervous system reaction. I have no control over my reaction- as in I cannot stop myself from feeling this way. Obviously what I can do is try and minimise my exposure to sounds that trigger me - and I do try very hard with this, but DH doesn't always get it and will start eating something in front of me - if I can't leave the room then this is genuine torture. It sounds so dramatic to someone who doesn't have it. But it genuinely makes me want to cry and scream. I can feel my blood pressure rising and feel so incredibly stressed and anxious.

It's really not as simple as just 'not liking eating noises.' I hate it. I wish there was a cure. It takes all of my self control to deal with it. My mum and DH (when he remembers) will help me by going into a different room to eat etc, and not getting cross if I won't eat with them. I seem to have super sensitive hearing which doesn't help, and if I tune into a noise like an unexplained rattle in the car, it can invoke the same reaction. It's horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Mine started when I was about 11.

I have this too. Thankfully my husband is very kind and knows I can't have apples, crisps etc near me at all and need other food eaten with care. For me, the worst part is that my husband and I sleep in separate rooms because I can't bear his snoring. I want to put a pillow over his face to kill him. Food noises, heavy breathing all drive me crazy too. Radio presenters who have whistling noses make me turn over to a different channel. Interesting that 2/3 of sufferers are on the asd spectrum.
You have my sympathy op. It's shit.

Katedotness there's a big difference between hating something and just not liking it. As you said, no one ever said they were attracted to their partner by their eating noises, but most people aren't repulsed or made angry by the sound of someone eating - they might find it mildly annoying or distracting.
I don't have misophonia. Eating sounds don't really bother me even though I'd rather not listen to someone eat. However, white noise such as a radio that isn't tuned or being in the room while someone is watching a football match drives me crazy! Smells are also more of an issue for me than sounds. I find the smell of food eg in the cinema more annoying than the sound of people eating it.

'Surely everyone hates eating sounds though? I doubt when asked, what attracted you to your partner anyone has ever answered...I love the way they slurp soup/rattle a boiled sweet round their teeth/crunch through an apple like a horse.'

Nope. People who don't have misophonia usually don't and/or don't even notice. It doesn't sound like slurp/chomp/rattle/crunch or any other negative adjective unless the person is one of those who exaggerates his/her expressions whilst eating or has terrible table manners or difficulty eating due to illness or condition.

I have problems with cereal and go to great lengths to eat breakfast at a different time to visiting relatives.

"My whole self is overcome by whatever the sound is. I cannot tune it out. I feel so incredibly furious, like I want to rip my ears off, scream and shout and throw things. It feels like pure torture."

Well said, exactly that!

Also involves a hell of a lot of guilt if it's one of your DC that triggers it. Every. Day.

The rage, the glares....the storming out of rooms etc, it's honestly not personal! If you live with a sufferer, please understand this. It's not personal.

I've had to get off buses if too many people are sniffing. I've actually shouted 'stop fucking sniffing'!!!

Sniffing. Oh god. I once vomited because of someone repeatedly sniffing. Help!

Oh gosh yes sniffing. I've had to get off public transport before. It's one of the worst triggers for me.

Thedodgyend my DS isn't quite 2 and I live in fear of him causing a reaction. I'm desperate for it not to happen 😕 Sorry it already does for you.

mineallmine I do not have this condition but could easily suffocate a snorer
This thread made me think. I hate people snoring, breathing loudly, whistling, tapping sniffing and people clearing their throats.

Great to know I'm not the only one! If I could become queen of the world I would immediately make noisy eating punishable by violence! 😂 I'm not on the spectrum no, but interesting that there's sometimes a link as I've not heard that before. I maybe will try CBT, reason I haven't before being that I wasn't convinced they'd take me seriously. I've been in situations where I've wanted to be violent to decent people purely as I'm so filled with rage that they can't keep their gobs shut when eating!! I so so wish it didn't affect me like this. Thank you for the responses

for everyone suffering,it's truly hellish.
The absolute rage or feeling dizzy and sick hearing someone chewing. My DS is a particularly noisy eater, I feel like the worst mother in the world every single day, repeating "mouth closed.nicely.quietly" thankfully he adjusts and thus far it doesn't bother him at all and dp has a weird clicking jaw, I can't eat with them unless there's other noise likes TV or radio. I can't cope with sounds associated with eating a either, rustling crisp packs knives and forks clinking.My boss is the worst eater ever, mouth open, so loud even over loud music etc on the very rare occasion I can't get away from him I physically have to hold onto something and REALLY focus on my own breathing or my pulse, Anything rhythmic and constant or the impulse to physically slap him (or anyone that does it) is almost overwhelming. Horrendous, and so hard to explain to people who say "oh I know, I hate that too" while chewing gum so noisily they might as well have a fucking microphone in their teeth.

sorry that was long and ranty.

No luck here, I feel your pain. I have suffered since a child and unless you really do suffer from the condition no one really 'gets' it. For me it's chewing and drinking, my heart also sinks when I see someone reaching for food or drink. I can't eat with my dad, the pressure builds in my chest to the point where my anger explodes and I either want to lash out and imagine punching someone making the noise, or crying and hiding away. (I've never hit anyone in my life and actually hate violence) My doctor has no clue. Unhelpful but you're not alone.

I've found my people! I thought I was just a grumpy bitch until I learned this was an actual thing.

My triggers are rhythmic noises usually, I absolutely cannot have a ticking clock in my house. Pen clickers make me murderous, I really struggled in uni during exams as it was so intense.
Whistling should be punishable by death.

Noisy eating is less of a trigger but still a trigger nonetheless, I am able to tune it out more than the rhythmic noises.

Huge sympathies. I've suffered with this for years with very little understanding from those around me. Hiccups (on top of most afore mentioned) is something that gives me the rage. Aside from these things certain visual things have sneaked on to the list as I've got older, including foot tapping or 'flapping' of shoes (predominantly slippers for some reason!) balancing on end of foot.
I work in mental health services and have seen CBT offered to sufferers so I would say if it is affecting your day to day life, refer yourself into services or get your GP to. Prepare for a lengthy wait however.

Oh God yes to ticking clocks and pen clickers!

Ohplease - it's awful she's non verbal ASD and is 2. DS also ASD but calmer these days. 2 yo is so frustrated at lack of language and ability to communicate that she screams, I kid you not, from the second she wakes till the second she sleeps. It sounds awful but it infuriates me - you know the feeling. I go and stand by the fridge to try not to hear it. So trapping when you can't walk away from the source of the trigger. No one else seems to understand the sheer torture of it.

Glad it's not just me...
Sniffing
Eating/slurping/chomping
Open mouth
Snoring
Dribbling
Runny noses

I also have auditory processing disorder...invariably the noise I will pick up will be the one that makes me murderous..

I leave the room if I can..or distract myself by eating too
Also children screaming makes me want to bolt..although that may be due to horrendous PND...after DC... I still struggle around small DC even though mine are grown up.

No I understand you and there's nothing worse than people saying "we all get annoyed with it one way or another" people actually don't understand the condition at all.

I absolutely get what you're saying, that pure white rage that builds and triggers your fight or flight senses right? It's horrible! Especially if you're forced to sit there and all you can focus on is the noise!

I haven't found a way of getting rid of it. And like you I try to remove myself from the room if I can see someone about to eat. I notice that the more I'm accustomed to someone's habits the worse it gets. Mine doesn't sound as bad as yours in comparison, I can cope in the cinema as I'm not accustomed too much and usually too focused on the film anyway.

Sometimes it'll happen when I'm not accustomed to that person though, if they're excessive with eating or sometimes it's other noises like clicking tongues, or the way someone speaks..

I honestly don't know how you overcome it.

The worst is inhaling while eating! Horrible fucking noise.

God I didn't know this was a thing!! I feel sick with anger listening to people eat. I'm so anxious I'm a noisy eater I can't eat in the staff room at work. I can't sit listening to others then being worried I'll be sounding the same. Dh gets the brunt of it, we have to have music on while we sit at the table and eat. He manages to make the cutlery clash his teeth all the time I just want to take his food away. Ds1 is just like me, I feel guilty that 18yrs of having me reacting this way at meal times has made him react the same way.