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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is the height of neighbour nosiness?

57 replies

WinditupSlowitdown · 17/09/2017 17:36

Doing work on my new place (flat), I currently don't live there. The workman parked his van blocking one of my neighbours.

She came over to ask him to move (obviously fine as he shouldn't have obstructed her). She then asked if she could have a look around at the work that had been done to the place so far.

Aibu to think she's a nosey busy body?

OP posts:

paxillin · 17/09/2017 19:12

Our neighbour followed the carpet cleaning guy in to have a proper nosy. Was amazed to fing me in a bedroom where I'd been waiting for him to finish.

paxillin · 17/09/2017 19:13

find not fing

Patchouli666 · 17/09/2017 19:14

No it's bloody nosy. Almost worse because she asked your builder and still hasn't spoken to you! We've had a big project at our house and only my bf have seen the bedroom but everyone else that 'we've invited round for food, drinks etc' has seen the rest. No strangers have looked round.

ErnesttheBavarian · 17/09/2017 19:16

We bought a new build and I popped in one day to speak to the men/see how things were going and there was some random woman (sort of a neighbour, and in fact the dd of the previous landowner who'd sold the land to the builders). I didn't know who she was at the time, but even so, my house was nothing at all to do with her, and we'd never even met! I was really annoyed at her letting herself in and 'inspecting' my home.

I still don't know her very well, but she seems really lovely, so I suppose I forgive her, but I still remain annoyed at her cheek, so I totally get it and feel your pain OP: Maybe she also will turn out to be really nice? (fingers crossed).

eddielizzard · 17/09/2017 19:21

my neighbour did this. i was a bit but she's turned out to be a really good friend.

sonnybeaudelaire · 17/09/2017 19:22

This happened to me - we had lived there for a few years and were at work while the decorator was in.

Neighbour from across the street knocked on the door and had a look round (she's quite forceful so I can imagine the decorator, who is a lovely chap, being a bit bamboozled by her).

This is the same neighbour who would ignore me in the street unless she wanted something. I only found out a few months afterwards so didn't feel able to say anything. It still grates a bit now!

Whitecurrants · 17/09/2017 19:23

It’s rude, she should have asked you not a workman. I may be extra sensitive about this because our bitch neighbour got our builder to let her in (shoved past him would be more accurate) and started taking photos in the hope that we were doing something she could complain about to the council

TheDodgyShoesOfDrFoster · 17/09/2017 19:23

Jeez, YANBU. It's rude and nosy.

Blodplod · 17/09/2017 19:23

I must be really weird because if someone asked to look round my house I'd welcome them in! I've renovated (completely transformed) a 1450's original timber framed Hall House.. its garnered a lot of local interest.. im (sadly and maybe boastfully) always up to showing anyone who's vaguely interested what we've done. But I'm guessing from Mumsnet that's viewed as slightly odd!

Whitecurrants · 17/09/2017 19:25

Blodplod that’s perfectly fine, but no neighbour should be trying to get into the house if the occupant/owner isn’t there

MiaowTheCat · 17/09/2017 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elvislives2012 · 17/09/2017 19:31

I didn't know her at all. Just an old lady in the village when we were doing the house up. She kept an eye and the builders kept her sweet by having a look around. No issue from what I see

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/09/2017 19:49

I kind of did this once when the house next door was being remodelled and extended by the new owner. I was trying to explain to my dd, who was almost 2.5 at the time about the work happening in the garden and the big hole being dug for the concrete and bricks to go in etc. As she was only 2, it was difficult to explain so I hopped over the mesh fence with her to show her the hole. Not to nosey inside the house or anything it was the only way to see the hole in the ground ready for the foundations. Anyway, the new owner, who obviously didn't live there yet arrived and saw us. I apologised profusely and he ended up giving us a tour of the house without my asking, which was very kind of him. That was the only time I went into their garden without permission of course. The builder did the right thing not letting the person in and I never would have asked them for actual access to the house.

Original poster

WinditupSlowitdown · 17/09/2017 20:06

Our neighbour followed the carpet cleaning guy in to have a proper nosy. Was amazed to fing me in a bedroom where I'd been waiting for him to finish.

Bloody hell what did you say?

OP posts:

paxillin · 17/09/2017 20:12

I was too surprised to say much at all. She did a swift runner saying she only wanted a quote and see how good his work was.

Half an hour later (and ever since) I knew all the things I wanted to shout whilst pelting her with shoes, but the moment was gone .

ErnesttheBavarian · 17/09/2017 20:14

blodplod, yes, showy offy, and totally different situation. I probably would have said yes to my neighbour, and possibly even enjoyed a chat with her about what we were having done. What was annoying for me, and the OP, is that some random woman didn't ask us, but basically got into our homes without our knowledge, or permission. Do you see the difference?

AcrossthePond55 · 17/09/2017 20:20

If I were the neighbour, I'd really want to ask to have a peek but I never would dare.

If I were you, I'd be a bit at neighbour, but would understand the curiosity.

limitedperiodonly · 17/09/2017 20:23

Seems reasonable to me. I had keys to my neighbours' to water their plants and feed, clean their cats while they were on holiday. My mum loved looking at their house and playing with the cats. She didn't delve in their underwear drawer.

When another neighbour completely renovated he was so proud of it he invited us round, but particularly her because she'd taken such an interest in the months of work.

Original poster

WinditupSlowitdown · 17/09/2017 20:35

I don't mean this to sound rude but people really aren't grasping the difference.

She's a stranger, I've never seen this woman ever.

She didn't ask me, she ask someone she knew the property didn't belong to.

I think all the people on here who said it's fine and wouldn't mind should message me their address and I'll come over when you're not in and have a look around your house

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 17/09/2017 20:42

Blodplod your house sounds fascinating. Do you have something like London Open House near you?

It was Open House this weekend. I used to go every year with my mum but forgot about today. I was working in the City and only remembered when I saw about 100 people queueing for what looked like a boring office block on Lower Thames Street, I'm going to have to find out what it is now.

A few years ago my friend won a lottery for restricted tickets to the Shard for the Open House event so went there early on a Saturday morning.

Sadly it was raining, and though we waited ages for the weather to clear, we gave up in the end and went for a lovely full English breakfast at a cafe directly overlooking the Thames.

My desk in my new job directly faces the Shard across the river. It's fantastic. But look at the murk on that day

To think this is the height of neighbour nosiness?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 17/09/2017 20:45

Nosy neighbours are your best friend OP.

They keep an eye on your house. Keep them sweet.

And, none of this wouldn't have happened had your builder not blocked her in. So if you need to get arsey, get arsey with him.

WhispersOfWickedness · 17/09/2017 20:47

The noisiest neighbour crown goes to the old lady (now sadly died) many years ago who cornered my mum's friend not long after he'd got back from his holiday to tell him that she was very concerned about his kettle, because she was just looking through his letter box and noticed that the light was on on it...

notthesortofmummyyouhopedfor · 17/09/2017 20:52

We had this. Knock on the door when we had finished an extension and a man asked to see round as he said he lived up the road. My husband said not convenient, not wanting to be rude as he was put on the spot, and hoped he would get the hint. Man gave his phone number and said to let him know when he could come back! Couple of days later we had a note through the door saying 'oh you must have lost my number, here it is again let me know when me and the wife can look round'. Why would anyone think that you would want complete strangers/potential burglars wandering round your house?

limitedperiodonly · 17/09/2017 20:56

But you don't live there so presumably there was no chance of her stealing stuff. Or was there? In which case the builder should have refused. It sounds like she was just having a nosy. I wouldn't have the nerve but my mum and the friend I went to the Shard with definitely would and so long as there was no chance of things being stolen or damaged things I wouldn't care.

If she continued to ask for entry after I'd moved in, I'd say no.

Original poster

WinditupSlowitdown · 17/09/2017 21:11

I wouldn't have the nerve but my mum and the friend I went to the Shard with definitely would

Hahaaaa omg whys it relevant that you went to the Shard?!

I also clearly stated I have a lot of my things moved in.
It's not even about stealing things. I don't feel comfortable with strangers in my home, especially when I'm not there.

For a forum where the majority of people find it normal to hide and ignore knocking at their front door, again I find it bizarre so many are ok with strangers having a nosey around their entire home.

OP posts:

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