Ex has gone on holiday and dropped his key through my door as the dc had left their tablets there.
I took them to collect them today and was shocked by the state of the place - have previously only stood in the doorway and didn't realise just how shit it is. It's actually a nice little house and had been renovated when he moved in about 4 months ago and was pristine. Now it's dirty, especially the floor, there's rubbish and clothing and dirty dishes everywhere. The floor is especially bad and the kitchen is filthy with a cupboard door hanging off and grease coating all appliances. It's just horrible to be in.
What really upset me was the dc's bedroom - beds unmade, clothes strewn everywhere. I saw a pair of pjs I sent with ds2 when ex first got his previous place about 18 months ago. They were part of a pack that I long since stopped using as ds has outgrown them, yet they were there on the bed clearly still in use.
The place is so unkempt it's just depressing. I grew up in a dirty home (like somewhere Kim and Aggie would go to) and it was awful. This is not as bad but getting there, and I speak as someone who has low standards. Aside from the bedroom the worst thing was the smell. His last place absolutely stank and the dc did when they came home, as did all their clothes so I had to wash them. I thought there was a damp problem that ex couldn't help, but this new place has a similar, albeit weaker, smell. I dread the dc being picked on at school because they smell.
The man does minimal work, doesn't swim with them or practise music, despite being a musician, and rarely reads school books with them. He only does homework with them if I expressly ask and spell out what needs doing. DC spend most of their time there on screens and, while I know they both love him and being with him, ds1 has often complained about going there as he is bored and ex doesn't do much with them. Ds1 says ex doesn't have much time as he bakes his own bread (I'm sure he does) but wtf is the point of that if the place is a shithole?
AIBU to think it's not good enough, but to not know what to do about it?