To hope that one day my children realise their father is a nasty man?

[ferriswheel]

My stbxh mentally, emotionally and financially abused me during our marriage.

My children are young and not yet able to understand this. And of course I know it is not my place to taint their view.

My children now see him for a few hours a week where he plays Mr Super Nice.

I don't suppose its important but if you were in a similar situation as a child did you finally work out why your parents actually divorced?

but the dad made 50% of you. i dont think it is right to badmouth

My DPs grandfather was an evil abusive man. Seriously awful.
The thing is he was a wonderful grandfather and DP loved him very much. Nobody is the same with everyone. And adults can recognise that an individual was awful to other people, but wonderful to them. So no, my DP does not hate his grandfather, he just recognises that his wonderful relationship and memories of him, are not the full picture.

My ex husband is a prize cunt (and a few hours a week mr nice guy also) I don’t expect my kids to see it and in a way I’m pleased they don’t. They are young, he is ‘daddy’ and if they grow up blissfully unaware of what a throbbing knob he is I can live with that.

I won’t lie for him though. When they are old enough to ask questions and see things through more mature eyes I won’t protect him or excuse him. That’s for him to explain

Both of my parents were not very good parents for different reasons. My dad was abusive to my mum and us kids, but when they split up we took his side due to certain behaviour from our mum just before the split. I remember him phoning up my mum so we could swear at her down the phone. He was an arsehole but as a kid I saw that as normal.

As an adult, I have relationship with my mum but not my dad, there was no massive falling out - I just realised he was and is a toxic person, I no longer wanted to tow the line to. My mum accepted that she made mistakes and makes a real effort, my dad lives in a fantasy world where he was the best dad in the world.

Even my siblings who have a "relationship" with him keep him at arms length. The only sibling he has any type of relationship with his my drug addicted brother who abuses his girlfriends - like two peas in a pod.

I think the truth will always out itself.

No, I'd never taint DD's view of her father. Lots of times people have tried to comfort me by saying that one day she will see him for what he is, but to be honest the thought makes me sad.