To think that you don't write your own eulogy....

[Idontneedanotherhero]

Been asked to write eulogy for DH's grandma, agreed, have just been presented with several pages she wrote herself for this very purpose! Do I stick to it verbatim? Isn't this a little odd? Or is this a thing?

Why is it odd? It's her funeral, so imo she can have whatever she likes

Yes you absolutely use what she wrote and what she wanted

Good for Gran, she's saving you alot of trouble.

But then isn't that taking away the point that you talk about how she was to others? I don't mind using what she said but it needs a bit of human interest surely? Stories about her? I don't want to just read what she wrote, what's the point of that?

Do both. Read out what she wanted then after do your own eulogy.

Do both. Read out what she wanted then after do your own eulogy.

Do both. Read out what she wanted then after do your own eulogy.

Do both. Read out what she wanted then after do your own eulogy.

Yes that's probably a good idea, I'll do that!

Apologies, no idea why that posted so many times!

It's certainly unusual. Perhaps she was trying to relieve her loved ones of the burden of deciding what to do and say?(So many family rifts start with nobody agreeing on what the deceased would have wanted). From some people I'd think it was very controlling, but it might equally be very kind and thoughtful. It depends on what sort of person she was, really.
Either way, it saves you trying to think of what to say.

I would imagine that your DH's family would very much like to hear what she had to say.

Probably more than they'd like to hear your opinion of her.

I don't mind using what she said I should bloody hope you "don't mind" it's her funeral!

I'd rather hear what someone wrote and what they wanted to say than a story about them tbh

don't want to just read what she wrote, what's the point of that? It's her funeral, and this is how she wanted her final goodbye to be

If this is a problem for you maybe ask someone else to read it out?

Different but...my father (mildly famous in his field) was asked to write his own obituary for the broadsheets.

Dad wrote his own and it was beautiful. How could you even consider not reading it?

I'm not sure that you have to use her exact words otherwise there would be no point in asking you to write it.
My take on it would be that you use the information she has provided as a base for what you are going to say.

ive asked my mum to write her own as after she dies i will have enough to do that think about what to say

I have been writing a list of things I don't want talked about, like my chronic health, I don't want a load of nonsense about how brave etc. Thinking about it as I am nc with my sibling and parents there isn't anyone in my life who knew me before 1994. Maybe I should scribe some edited highlights before I pop my clogs.
What sort of things has she put? Is it hard to read or lovely to know?

Thanks all :)

@Subtlecheese it's very much a plain list of dates and events and charity work undertaken, very plain

I know of a minister who not only wrote her own eulogy, but filmed it and TOOK HER OWN FUNERAL SERVICE. That was weird.

I do feel a little humour in a eulogy, a soft laugh or smile, is almost mandatory? Although she perhaps disagreed and wants a very solumn, fact listing event...

@doodlejump1980 that IS odd!

Can you not write something and quote her a bit? It depends what she said of course.

@Cantusethatname because it's not beautiful? It's a list!

@MarciaBlaine I think I'm going to have to use a bit of poetic license