To think that you don't write your own eulogy....

[Idontneedanotherhero]

Been asked to write eulogy for DH's grandma, agreed, have just been presented with several pages she wrote herself for this very purpose! Do I stick to it verbatim? Isn't this a little odd? Or is this a thing?

I wouldn't read our a plain list in that manner. Maybe "x was well known for her charitable works such as ......"

Yup, really eerie actually. In your situation I'd be glad of having more facts to hand. When my mum died, it was like a fog to remember all the lovely things she'd done. You could add your own anecdotes to the words left by your relative. Will make it less of a list. I know my Dad's written his own 🙄

It's hard I know. I had to do a reading at my GFs funeral recently. Didn't want to but humour was much better than just how wonderful they were - which made people cry.

Is it just so you get the facts right for your eulogy rather than being the eulogy itself?

a friend of mine did this, it was a very 'her' thing to do, didn't seem odd at all, and since she had written the eulogy her voice really came through.

Well the charity work she was probably proud of. Plain is great, quietly getting on with life. Perhaps solemnity is appropriate but you're right humour is needed.
Grief is a solid wall coming at you at times you need some chinks in it and levity too x

Did she write 'I want this list reading out at my funeral' or is it just a list of things she'd like the person writing her eulogy to mention?

I think I'll have to weed out the 'best' facts (though who's to say my opinion is correct, but they did give me the job?) and pad it out with some anecdotes and humour. Can't do better than that I don't think!

Do you know anyone she did charity work with? They might have some anecdotes you could work into the list.

@ZerbaPadnaTigre she didn't specifically say which makes it harder! She just said she wants it to "be right". It might be better for an actual grandchild to do but they don't feel up to it

@WhirlwindHugs good idea, thanks! I've a couple of days to make calls

It sounds like she simply done what my relative done - wrote down all the important dates and events so that no one is scrambling to remember when it was.

Write around it, add in the stories.

Also what kind of funeral is it? The celebrant may also be able to make use of some of the info to pad out their spiel.

I have jotted down a few ideas- perhaps she just wanted to make sure the dates and facts were correct. I also have my funeral planned out with a good friend (am having life extending treatment)

She has given you details of her life that were important to her. That's helpful surely?

You want some "human interest" and humour? She's dead! You have human interest already and she has expanded on that by writing down what she felt she had achieved in life. Perhaps she doesn't want humour at her funeral. It's usually a fairly somber affair! Tell humourous tales at the wake when people can reminisce and relax a little.

A eulogy is usually about the deceaseds life and what they done from birth till the end. My Dad's was done by having to get everyone to rack their memories from his younger years, it sounds your Grandma has done all the leg work already, why would you not do it?

@lalalalyra it's a very staid CofE church and vicar...

Ok thanks for your responses all :)

@wannabestressfree

Ah, I get it now. At DH's DDad's funeral it was very important to his DMum that 'everyone' who might be there would get a mention, so all the clubs/organisations etc he had been involved with, otherwise apparently they would be miffed. So her list is just to help you make sure you cover all the bases. And celebrate her full glory or course. Weave it with anecdotes and appreciation.

@NeonFlower I've been pondering and you are right, that's exactly it! She was a great believer in everything being "proper" and "done right", so the list shall be (mostly) adhered to, but I'm going to add some extras and hope that she would be pleased :)

I've found eulogies very hard to write and I don't think it is uncommon! She may know that think she is helping by writing her own.

I quite like the idea, I have heard some bollocks eulogies before which didn't reflect the person at all.

I would introduce it as her own hand written eulogy and perhaps afterwards make a few of your observations drawing from her ideas. I think it is actually quite charming she has written her own.

Does this reflect her behaviour? Unconventional? Very organised? Bossy? etc.

Doodle - I think that is brilliant that she held her own funeral service!

So she was very proper and wrote the list to ensure nothing was left out? Use that as your basis. Ensure everything she mentioned is saud but use your words to add colour and character. Think of it as structure for your eulogy.

My goodness!! That's so helpful of her!! She's just been helpful and not assuming other people remember the minutia of her Life. I wish I had had some sort of list to pull on to build my eulogies round that I have had too give!!

Yeah that's not a eulogy she's written - it's just a list to make sure everything on it is in the eulogy. Good on her - makes your job a lot easier.