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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD passed her kick boxing grading, but I have just recieved a call to say she hasn't and needs to return the belt/certificate!?!?

82 replies

justicedestiny · 16/09/2017 18:02

DD did her purple belt (I believe it's something like her 7th belt) grading today and she gets assessed by 5 of the instructors on different things, they fill out the sheet, at the end, the main instructor adds up the points on the sheet and says if they have passed/failed. She was told she had passed like all the other times, was given her certificate and belt and walked home (it's at the end of our road) we celebrated with a take away and was all smiles all around. About an hour ago, I received a call from the instructor that isn't her instructor but goes through the sheets, etc. and adds their names to the correct board after gradings, etc. says unfortunately she didn't actually reach the points needed for the grading and it was just a mathematical error and she needs to return the belt and certificate and she will stay at the previous belt until the next grading. I am horrified! She is 11 and that's quite young really... She is very upset!

AIBU to think they should check their maths if it's that close before telling her!? I am really quite shocked.

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 16/09/2017 19:01

Really? Since her white with red stripe grading it was always like this!

Can i ask how much you pay for a grading?

Gorgosparta · 16/09/2017 19:02

Oh and who the dojo is registered with?

Gorgosparta · 16/09/2017 19:02

She doesn't compete, but if they give her the belt then she would able to compete.

No, you can compete at any grade.

Seniorcitizen1 · 16/09/2017 19:04

She failed so has to give belt and certificate back. Life is tough sometimes even for children. It will make her strong

LouHotel · 16/09/2017 19:05

I think you and your daughter have every right to be a upset but also if she geniunly hasnt got the points then this a harsh but good lesson to learn.

I do however think considering its there mistake they need to invite her in for a new grading not just wait until the next planned session which is presumably next term?

OlennasWimple · 16/09/2017 19:05

Do you know how far off she was from passing?

Original poster
justicedestiny · 16/09/2017 19:09

No idea how far off she was but for them to add it up wrong not much I'm guessing!

@Gorgosparta I pay £35 for the grading but she has a £75 membership fee too.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 16/09/2017 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NuttyMcAlletun · 16/09/2017 19:12

Absolutely ridiculous!

You don't compete based on your belt, you compete based on your weight (and age or height when you are a child). Some clubs give a black belt to pretty much any student who has paid enough, others have very strict levels, and high grades are only done once a year. In short, belts do not mean anything. Until there's a national standard and all dans are awarded by the national body, it means squats.

I am afraid that club is an embarrassment. First, she can't be far of the purple level if they allowed her to go through the grades. Yes, you can fail, but you don't put pupils through if you know they don't have the fitness and skills.
Then asking an 11 year old to give her belt back... when the level is decided by the club, and as I said, doesn't mean that much. This is not on.

I would strongly complain. I have never heard of anything that stupid. The do count points for the grades, but you have a general idea if the student can go through just by looking at the grade: stamina, techniques, and you know your students! You only go through the points if students are borderline.

YANBU to be shocked and fuming. It's even worst that it's a child!

Pengggwn · 16/09/2017 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 16/09/2017 19:16

That is quite unfair and cruel and careless of them. If they have some sort of governing body you could complain. But I can see people's point that she does have to reach a certain standard in order to compete. Still not very good though.

sirfredfredgeorge · 16/09/2017 19:17

There's nothing wrong with you keeping the belt and certificate, they awarded it by accident.

Equally there's absolutely nothing wrong, and I think it's sensible if the dojo said, okay, then don't come back. She failed, she either accepts the failure and passes next time, or goes off in a huff 'cos some people made a mistake.

TurquoiseChevrotain · 16/09/2017 19:18

@Viviennemary - the OP has already said she doesn't compete. I did kick boxing and you didn't ever have to compete, most kids didn't until they reached their black belt.

LouHotel · 16/09/2017 19:18

Out of interest what age can children start kickboxing?

NuttyMcAlletun · 16/09/2017 19:19

You do have beginner sections in (some) competition, which should only cover the first couple of belts, , so you don't necessarily have to get battered the first time you ever walk into a ring, but really belts are completely ignored.

Nothing prevent a green belt to fight a brown belt in competition (and win, standards really do vary from club to club!)

NuttyMcAlletun · 16/09/2017 19:20

children can start at 4 or 5, depending on clubs.

notanotherNC · 16/09/2017 19:20

It sucks, but she failed. She isn't up to the standard. She needs to practise more and improve and try again. I would be upset though, but she doesn't deserve the award.

NuttyMcAlletun · 16/09/2017 19:25

I did kick boxing and you didn't ever have to compete, most kids didn't until they reached their black belt

true, but I also know clubs who don't even allow you to go for brown belt until you have won at least a couple of competition, or at the very least a couple of fights (at regional or national level). The standards do vary hugely.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/09/2017 19:26

I don't think op is bemoaning the fact that her daughter "failed". Its the fact they said she'd passed and then next minute said she'd failed. Most decent people wouldn't do that to a rat, never mind an 11 year old child.
All because of someone else's mistake and stupidity

newmobile · 16/09/2017 19:28

Three of my four children do kick boxing an pass every grade the work is looked upon how they have done over the term not just the grading it's all about building confidence in the younger ones not taking that confidence away .

Pengggwn · 16/09/2017 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amanduh · 16/09/2017 19:29

I wouldn't say it's 'cruel' - they didn't do it to deliberately hurt her. Stupid, unprofessional and need calling up on it - yes.

TurquoiseChevrotain · 16/09/2017 19:29

@newmobile - this is how mine was, but I'm guessing it differs for each club as the OP's sounds like a black belt grading.

OlennasWimple · 16/09/2017 19:30

She might have failed by a couple of points, in which case perhaps the judges could review their markings and find that she did in fact score highly enough.

But if she's failed by more (someone didn't add up the tens column properly, sort of thing), she should have to do it again.

But their attitude would determine my response TBH - were they completely mortified at their error?

NuttyMcAlletun · 16/09/2017 19:33

It wasn't deliberate to make a mistake, but to call after the fact to remove the grade.. it's outrageous. It is pretty obvious if a student fail (again, you check the marks for the ones who are borderline). If you were happy enough with what you saw, it makes no sense to realise there was a few points missing hours later and then call the parents?

This is not what it's all about, especially with a child!

I would be very wary of instructors who had a student failing her grade, but didn't even notice until they recounted the points. What on earth were they doing during the actual grade?