to find my husband talking to our toddler incredibly annoying?

[Stardustandshine]

He puts on this really odd tone of voice and speaks in a really slow, pronounced way when talking to our toddler. I know it's dh way of helping ds to understand and learn words but god I find it annoying! Aibu to tell him to shut up and speak in a normal voice? (Lighthearted!)

Yanbu
Tell him him he sounds stupid. Your child is a toddler not stupid.

Lots of people talk to children in an abnormal voice as if kids are hard of hearing or stupid. Yanbu. I also hate it when grown ups try too hard and pretend to be always super excited about everything when talking to kids, or talk to them constantly and make the children talk constantly. Gives me the rage.

I've seen research that said speaking to very young children in a "baby talk" way, sing-song-ish and goofy, slowed down, etc., does actually help them learn language. It's been ages and I don't even know if I could dig that up now, or if it's gone out of fashion (as the latest research says!! invariably does).

But that doesn't make it any less embarrassing or any less grating! When he starts doing it, put on the same voice when you talk to him!

Ah, don't make him feel uncomfortable about communicating with his son.

I would never make him feel bad about it AnaisB but it is really grating and he has a naturally loud voice so makes me cringe when we're in public places and I know other people can hear. It's the sort of voice that he would have commented on being really annoying before we had children

YABU

Don't make him feel self conscious. Just seethe quietly to yourself and imagine acting out all sorts of revenge for the annoyance.

Baby talk does my nut in, but I wouldn't say anything.

My dp annoys me with his fake enthusiasm when our kids do something good (reading, drawing, etc) it's just sooo over the top and really loud.

Not going to say anything though. But it's much better to be genuine, kids can tell.

It really wouldn't bother me.

It's doing no harm. it sounds like a nice positive interaction.

You're not unreasonable to find it annoying - it's not like you have a choice in the matter - but you would be VU to bring it up. Just use the same voice in your head to say, "Yes, [husband], and Mummy would like to shove a sock down your throat."

YABU speaking in that way helps language development.

No brasty it just encourages them to remain infantile for longer.
Even when I was a kid myself I found grown ups talking like that really annoying. In my family everybody talked to us kids in a normal voice and yet, miraculously we had no language development problems. So whenever I encountered some odd-talking adults, I found it sheer stupid. These adults are making a fool out of themselves.

Research says otherwise.

Bratsy is correct
But I'm inclined to think the OP is NBU just becasue I find my DH annoying whenever he talks.

Personal experience says otherwise.

brasty is right - child directed speech (or 'motherese') is known to help children learn how to speak. I think it's really interesting actually - especially when you hear kids using it with smaller children!

Do you have the sort of relationship where you can laugh a bit at yourselves? I'm sure DH and I both used to do this too much, but we would just take the piss out of each other a bit too. Don't be too hard on him!

guilty - personal experience isn't the same as data from many years of study. Child directed speech is not remotely controversial, it happens across all societies and cultures and we even use it with pets. It clearly helps children learn speech, whether you think it did in your family or not!

sorry Brasty not Bratsy
But Brasty is still right.

JWrecks - you are right. It's known as 'motherese'.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_talk

And yes it seems to be something we do innately.
Of course children can still learn to speak if just spoken to normally. But this does make it easier for children to learn to speak.
And yes, even though they will never speak, I speak to my pets this way

brasty I also speak to my pets this way and my 12 year old DD pulls me up on it!

The research regarding sing song voice applies to babies, something to do with expression and movement of mouths - learning to read people's facial expressions whilst they talk is important in language development.

As language develops, children understand very early when they are being talked to in a condescending manner (which is what your partner is doing). I would ask him to speak to her in his own voice. She will develop her language and communication skills more readily.

Oh dear. What if your toddler starts speaking in an odd tone of voice in a slow pronounced way to be like his dad?

MOOORRRNNING DAAAD Pleeeease caaan weee gooo toooo the SWIIINGSS?

I'm using she as the default here. It applies to both sexes.

A good friend of ours up the road always talks to his two DSs REALLY LOUDLY and QUITE SLOWLY and I find it incredibly grating. It's a shame because I quite like him otherwise but passers by probably think the boys have some kind of learning disability.