to find my husband talking to our toddler incredibly annoying?

[Stardustandshine]

He puts on this really odd tone of voice and speaks in a really slow, pronounced way when talking to our toddler. I know it's dh way of helping ds to understand and learn words but god I find it annoying! Aibu to tell him to shut up and speak in a normal voice? (Lighthearted!)

Another article on Motherese:

[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800080/]

It's a natural instinct for most adults in most cultures, and is proven to be a key stage in the development of language.

Maybe send DH to a voice coach?

Sorry, not enough square brackets.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800080/

Could be worse OP, there was thread yesterday where someone was considering dumping her boyfriend as he spoke to her that way!

Please just let him continue and dont make him feel self conscious about it

Yes you're being unreasonable. Stop, just stop. How would you feel if he told you he didn't like the way you spoke to your child? Would you feel self-conscious - or more likely, indignant because as mother, you're obviously the uber-parent.

You say 'lighthearted' but you don't mean that because you want to tell him to shut up and speak properly. Who do you think you are?

See you on relationships board...

Light hearted means tongue in cheek really. A bit like saying I want to strangle my dh for leaving socks on the floor. I don't really want to commit murder.

Oh dear. What if your toddler starts speaking in an odd tone of voice in a slow pronounced way to be like his dad?

MOOORRRNNING DAAAD Pleeeease caaan weee gooo toooo the SWIIINGSS?

I am dying at this

I probably found it annoying and silly before I was a mum but just started doing it automatically once I had DD. She's 21 months and I think I do it most when trying to encourage her to do something she doesn't want to do. This morning I remember saying to her "Shall we get dressed? Look this t-shirt has bunnies on!" In a bit of a singsong, over the top, excited way.
Yabu.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties, I think I'd have to leave!! 😉

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe- lighthearted meant tongue in cheek/a joke. I'm sorry that the tone of my post clearly passes you by! I don't for a second think I'm an "über parent"- far from it. My husband is an amazing dad and speaks to my ds in that slow manner to help him learn new words. I'm confident our relationship is strong enough to get past me finding him occasionally annoying! 😬

TwoIsQuiteEnoughThankyou,do we love up the road from you?! 😂

live not love!

Its generally helpful to slow down speaking if there's delays, other than than that its just hugely irritating

Speaking to toddlers doesn't have to be at top volume either! I'm not sure why some adults feel the need to talk in such loud tones to toddlers. My fil always used to put on a booming voice to talk to my toddlers.
"IS THAT YOUR NEW TOY? ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR MUMMY?" etc.

Your post wasn't tongue-in-cheek, see Ilostit's post for details.

Anyway, why do you need to be in the room when they're talking? If I felt annoyed then I'd go and do something else and let them enjoy each other's company. I'd be zipping out the door waving them a cheery 'bye, see you later...' and let them be.

I never know what to say to toddlers, so I probably do this with my own.

They are better when you can just talk to them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, thanks for clarifying for me what I meant by my post. Just to be clear, yes I do find it a bit grating (just as I'm sure I annoy the hell out of him sometimes!) but no I'd never tell him and I don't leave when he's doing it because we enjoying spending time as a family (and as in my original post my annoyance is light hearted!)

opheliacat, I probably do it too but I don't have to listen to myself! 🙂

Neither of those links actually give proof that "motherese" assists language development. They just say what it is.

Steven Pinker says in The Language Instinct that it's a waste of time although harmless enough IIRC.

There's a lot of research in this area. There is a way of talking to children that many adults fall into naturally that's called Child Directed Speech (CDS) and it helps their language development. It usually involves simplified vocabulary, melodic pitch, repetitive questioning, and a slow or deliberate tempo. It's helps children develop their language. They aren't adults, they don't yet have adult speech - this helps them.

This would drive me nuts!

I have a friend that did this and, even more annoying, referred to herself in the 3rd person to her children until they were about 10.

Totally unnecessary imo.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties is your fil Brian Blessed? That's the voice I heard reading your post about him.

OP - YANBU. It would drive me daft too!

I work with a child with speech delays (among other issues) and the speech therapist has told me to use child directed speech, so I assume there is actually some evidence it helps. YANBU though, me talking like it annoys me so someone else doing it would drive me mad. Worst part is after a couple of hours if I go to talk to an adult I forget and talk to them like it too.

Would drive me nuts too, OP. Just have to suck it up though! This phase won't last forever :-)

As annoying as you found it, it will help your DC develop language. Just keep in your mind how lucky your DC is to have a lovely father who will put his child's needs before his own, especially as you say he would have found it himself irritating before he had DC.
We have a few children with communication delay at the preschool I work in. The first thing we do is reduce our language and emphasise everything we say, more often than not it is surprising how quickly the language starts to come.

We have just had a new intake of children and one does something called jargoning. She chats away as if she is speaking another language but non of what she is saying makes sense. (We checked with mum but she doesn't speak another language). Now this could be form many reasons but listening to mum talk to her we could take an educated guess. Mum speaks very rapidly as you and I would speak to each other. It is just too much information for a little mind to process and without the sing songy emphasis on key words she can't pull out the important bits focus on. We have encouraged mum to use reduced language and child direct speech too.

YANBU! My MIL God love her always does a special high pitched baby voice as though SHE is a toddler! It's gross.