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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay her when she owes me?

33 replies

TallulahBetty · 15/09/2017 21:28

A few weeks ago, I lent a friend £25. We agreed she would pay me when she gets her tax credits again. This week, I bought something for £15 as she has set up a new business making things and I wanted to support her. She messaged me to say it was finished and can I PayPal her the £15? I was a bit taken back and said can you knock it off what you owe me, so you now just owe me £10. She messaged back and said no, she wants the whole £15 now. (She already had the materials in stock so I know she hasn't had to pay our specifically to make my item). AIBU? I'm still happy to wait until she gets paid next for my money to come back. I'm not rushing her on that. But I do feel resentful that she now wants paying?

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 15/09/2017 21:29

You've done the right thing. I doubt you'll see any of it now, though.

3EyedRaven · 15/09/2017 21:29

Fuck that, cheeky cow

BackieJerkhart · 15/09/2017 21:30

Cancel your order and tell her you'll just take the £25 when her tax credits come in. I assume they are paid either weekly or 4 weekly?

Coffeeandcherrypie · 15/09/2017 21:30

Don't give her anymore money!!

Insist that she owes you the item and £10.

And I wouldn't be buying from her again if this if her attitude.

FizzyGreenWater · 15/09/2017 21:31

This tells you that mentally she isn't even thinking of paying you back.

Flesh · 15/09/2017 21:31

Reply haha good one. Let me know when I can have my tenner back x

Moanyoldcow · 15/09/2017 21:31

YANBU but I make a point of never lending people money unless I can live without it.

People tend not to ask unless they're desperate IME so paying me back just becomes a burden.

You are not unreasonable to want your cash back but I'd treat them as two transactions.

RubyGoat · 15/09/2017 21:32

Or you could offer to pay her the £15 when she repays you the £25. Say you're a bit short right now. Might make her realise...

MadamePomfrey · 15/09/2017 21:32

Yeah don't transfer the £15 just say you don't have it till she pays you back if you have to wait so can she

SilverBirchTree · 15/09/2017 21:32

OP, do you suspect that she won't pay you when her tax credits come through?

If you agreed to lend £25 to her for a set period of time, then you've gone back on your word by calling in £15 of the debt early.

Is she so low on funds that £15 out of pocket makes a difference? If yes, then I suggest you pay her for what you bought and let her repay you the loan as agreed.

If you're low on funds or suspect she won't repay then don't lend money in the future.

cloudchasing · 15/09/2017 21:35

Just a thought - maybe she's on her arse and needs money for other stuff til her tax credits are in? Her using materials that she already had in wouldnt be any use to her immediate cash flow iyswim.

Spam88 · 15/09/2017 21:37

I'd probably keep her business as a separate thing, so I'd pay the £15 now.

3EyedRaven · 15/09/2017 21:37

Sorry, I thought that she hadn't paid you yet, but had had her tax credits.
She probably needs the 15 quid to tie her over until then?

mummymummums · 15/09/2017 21:39

She's a CF - you're a great friend - you lent her £25 and also supported her new business as there will be profit for her within the £15.
I'd agree with PP suggestions to either cancel order or tell her you'll pay for it when she repays you due to cash flow.

Whinesalot · 15/09/2017 21:41

Has she had her tax credits yet?

Original poster
TallulahBetty · 15/09/2017 21:41

Thanks all, a mixture of repli

OP posts:
RB68 · 15/09/2017 21:43

No its two separate things. Sorry but you are being grossly unfair, you order and pay for the item sep to the loan you have agreed.

If you don't think she will pay it then you shouldn't have loaned her but you are messing her around at the moment. She has to keep things sep for her business if she is on tax credits as well as it is all reported back for income etc.

kuniloofdooksa · 15/09/2017 21:43

Hmm. I do see your side of it but on the other hand, you agreed to lend £25 for a time that hasn't yet expired, and she is clearly needing to make ends meet somehow. She's spent time making your thing when she could have spent the same time making money in some other way, that time is now spent and can't be got back. Meanwhile if you had ordered this thing from any other person you wouldn't be able to delay paying for it. By asking for her to knock it off her debt you are effectively asking to not pay her until her tax credits come in, when she is less desperate for the money. That doesn't seem right.

I think that coughing up is the right thing to do. Treat this transaction as entirely different from the loan.

OlennasWimple · 15/09/2017 21:44

I'd assume that she hasn't had her tax credits yet and really needs the cash

TheMaddHugger · 15/09/2017 21:45

She might not have the $25 [or even $15 ] yet

Starlight2345 · 15/09/2017 21:54

Tax credits are paid weekly.

Viviennemary · 15/09/2017 21:58

In her mind the £25 she owes you and the money for the item you bought are separate. I wouldn't hand over the £15 till you get your £25 from her. She needs to learn how to budget if she is to run a successful business. And that doesn't include borrowing money from clients.

Willow2017 · 15/09/2017 22:01

Tax credits are paid weekly. Ask her why are you still waiting to get your money back?

3EyedRaven · 15/09/2017 22:02

Weekly or 4-weekly starlight

ALittleMop · 15/09/2017 22:03

Totally separate things
She owes you £25 and that was to be paid back at a specific time - make it clear you expect that to happen
You wanted to "support" her new venture, so you need to pay for the item.
Pay up. YABU.