Would I be a bitch to say no?

[RoastsArelife]

DH has asked if his mum could sit here most of the day next week to wait for a friend to then go into town, he won't be here just me and dc, I know it's not her duty and she doesn't have to but she literally has never helped me and DH out or gone out of her way and I just feel like saying no I'll be out. She shows no interest in our children since we have had our second.

I try hard to get on and have a friendship with my MIL but I feel we are just too different and don't really get each other!

Would I be a cow to say I'll be busy? I think it would be awkward if it was just me and her here!

Why tho? Can't she meet her friend wherever they intend to go?

Why can't she sit there if you're out?

It's a bit of an odd request. Can't she time things so she isn't hanging around your house all day? Why does she need to come to your house first?

Sorry, I'm confused. 1st you say it'll be just you and DC at home. Then later you say you'll say no because you'll be out. So will you be there or not?
I can see why you wouldn't want her hanging around all day but if you're going to be out, would she really cause any harm just sitting in your house?

All of that aside, why does she want to sit at your house waiting for her friend? Could she not sit in her own house, or just leave home later and not have to sit anywhere? But just meet her friend at an agreed place and time.

Would it really kill you?

She lives in a different town, so would be travelling to where I live waiting to meet friend (who lives half hour away from me) to get here whatever time that maybe, then they'd be going out in the town I live in. Sorry if that's confusing.

I doubt she would sit here if know one was in, I was planning on being in I just didn't want her around without DH here too, I actually think she would feel a tad awkward being here with just me here. We have never fallen out I just think she's a bit .

Can't she just find out what time her friend is available to meet, therefore taking away any need to sit around waiting for her anywhere?

If I were you, I would arrange things so I am there for an hour or so with her and then have to go out (take kids somewhere, or meet up with friends), leaving her at your house alone for a while till she is ready to meet her friend. That way you can be polite and accommodating but not have the awkwardness of spending hours and hours with her.

Sorry I will be in, I was just going to say I was going out. If she ever comes round I'll walk into the room and she won't even speak and look at me!

She said she'd tell her DMIL she'd be out. She wouldn't actually be out.

I'd just say no, OP.

Can she not just go get a coffee and meet her friend in town? Don't really understand why she needs your house.

Why wouldn't she just go straight to her friend's house, or to where they are meeting? I don't understand. Seems a bit pointless and I would say that.

I don't really get it either? How will she be getting to yours? Is there an issue for her to meet her friend in town at the right time rather than hanging around at yours?

If it's that much a big deal to her and your DH then maybe do it, see it as a possible start to something new. Offer tea and cake and try have a chat about anything??? If you really have no interest then of course YNBU to say no, or if you feel uncomfortable then saying your out.

No just say you will be out.

She needs to put better plans in place. Ask your DH, to help her out, with regards to train/bus times.

From how you've described her I'd say no. Also it's quite rude she can't be bothered with you all but when she needs a place to meet up her friend suddenly she's interested?

Why does she need to sit and wait at your house for most of the day?

Is there only one bus in and out? What has stopped her from arranging to meet her friend at a more convenient (for you) time?

If you really can't stomach spending three/four hours in her company (don't know how long you mean by "most of the day") then suggest she goes straight to town and has 40 cups of coffee or visits the ;library or something to fill time in. It depends how badly the two of you get on - personally, I would grit my teeth, sit her down with a cup of tea and the biscuit tin and put the telly on for her, then get on with what I wanted to do and try not to cheer as she left the hose at last.

But if she is like my maternal grandmother, who could start a fight in an empty house and was horrible to everyone, including very small children, then there's no way she'd get across the doorstep.

I wouldn't be happy either but it's just one day so I would suck it up while letting both DH and MIL know that you think it's amusing that she's happy to come sit wait for a friend but not to come see her grandkids.

It won't be "most of the day", how could it?

It doesn't sound like she deserves this kindness from you. However, I wonder if it's worth the potential awkwardness, just in case it ends up improving her attitude towards you.

Not that you should. Just that it might be worthwhile. And you could always have work that needed doing in another room, or the like, if she still doesn't make conversation.

If you were on good terms this wouldn't be an issue but I agree sounds a faff why does she not go to meet her friend directly.

How about a nice seat outdoors whatever the weather?

If she's been off with you in the past then absolutely say no and don't feel bad.

I used to work at home and people were often wanting to use my house as a waiting room. Annoying.

This sounds like my idea of Hell, but I don't think I could say to my DH that his mum wasn't welcome in our home. I would be very angry if he said anything similar to me. Perhaps you could just let her in, sit her in front of the tv with a drink and then excuse yourself to do some urgent paperwork sit in your room and play on your laptop

Don't understand why it should be your problem, I'd just say no and go out, or go out and let her wait at yours. If it matters so much to your DH, he can take the day off.