Would I be a bitch to say no?

[RoastsArelife]

DH has asked if his mum could sit here most of the day next week to wait for a friend to then go into town, he won't be here just me and dc, I know it's not her duty and she doesn't have to but she literally has never helped me and DH out or gone out of her way and I just feel like saying no I'll be out. She shows no interest in our children since we have had our second.

I try hard to get on and have a friendship with my MIL but I feel we are just too different and don't really get each other!

Would I be a cow to say I'll be busy? I think it would be awkward if it was just me and her here!

I'd take the opportunity to get to know her or at least try. She's your kids grandmother and hopefully will be in your life for many years. Maybe being tete a tete is what you need.

Why does she have to sit with you most of the day when the friend only lives 30 mins away?

How horrible for her to be so unwelcome in her sons home. I expect you will just say no though.

I hope you'll fast forward 20 odd years to when you're a mother-in-law. How would you feel if your perfectly reasonable request was refused?
She is part of your family and your husband's mother. Even if she has been difficult in the past, surely you can be the bigger person? You never know, it might be the start of a better relationship, if you give both her and you the chance!!!!

Well, it sounds a slightly odd plan but maybe it's the easiest solution for her.

However, I am a bit about your assertion that I try hard to get on and have a friendship with my MIL but I feel we are just too different and don't really get each other! You're not trying hard at all. You're planning to lie to her to avoid her. How is that supposed to encourage her to gain any sort of rapport with you or show interest in her grandchildren? She probably doesn't try because she thinks you're stand-offish and don't want her around.

Does she have to wait for her friend to finish work or something?

Why doesn't she just tell her friend that her bus gets in at x time & then they meet at a convenient place around that time?

If it was just half an hr or so I might put up with it.

If she was using it as a chance to see the kids then that would be something!

I think I'd say no tbh.

OP, use it as a chance to try and get something going between the two of you.

Why doesn't she travel later?

I think she's got a cheek tbh.

If you let her in and just leave her to it with the TV, this could just add fuel to the fire if there is some resentment brewing within her - i.e. you completely ignored her, or did not make her feel welcome, etc. etc. - could be used to beat you over the head with in future.

I would give her one more chance, have her home, lavish welcome on her, give her your attention, talk to her, be pleasant and chatty and interested, and see if it makes any positive difference to your relationship going forward. It might throw light on why she has been 'off' before. If not, then you have done your best, and can turn down future requests with a clear conscience.

*Why doesn't she travel later?

I think she's got a cheek tbh.*

Really she has a cheek to ask to sit in a family's members home.

Is it really too much to ask, she's your dh's mum, can you image if it was your mum or you and your child. I just don't get some posters.

Maybe you don't have a great relationship because you are quite spiky

I try hard to get on and have a friendship with my MIL

My idea of trying hard to get along with someone and build a friendship doesn't involve lying and baulking at the prospect of a few hours in their company.

She shows no interest in our children since we have had our second

And yet it's clear that she's such a welcome participant in your lives

She has got a bit of a cheek to ask to use the OP's home as a convenient waiting room when she doesn't seem to bother her arse any other time. Also, how do posters know the ins and outs of how hard OP has tried to build a relationship? OP could have tried for years to be friendly but been politely snubbed for all you know.