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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the behaviour of some hen "weekends" is just awful?

56 replies

Creambun2 · 15/09/2017 12:08

Currently having a miserable long distance train journey with two huge groups of hens off for weekends already wasted. Carriage is like a war zone piles of empty cheap drinks everywhere, food and litter all over floor, shreiking and screaming, playing music out of phones, giving the poor conducter grief as he picked them up on a non valid ticket.

I know it nothing new but why does anyone go for those horrid, common t-shirts where everyone from the brides mother down has to have a nasty nick name, "slutty sarah", "dirty dawn" are to of the hilarious examples here.

Seems to be the same sort of people who make drunk idiots of themselves at race meetings.

OP posts:
CruCru · 15/09/2017 12:11

Ugh. To be fair, I bet quite a few of the women on it aren't having that good a time. I once went on a hen weekend where the MOH got us all T Shirts - except "to be sexy" she got them a size smaller than the size we'd told her. Mine was miles too tight and too short so I wore another top underneath.

DeleteOrDecay · 15/09/2017 12:13

YANBU, that sort of thing really isn't my thing at all and whilst it's fine if that is their thing, they shouldn't be inflicting their noise and disruption on everyone else.

Bananalanacake · 15/09/2017 12:13

The only one I've ever been on the bride was a committed Christian, no getting drunk or inflatable penises,Angry

thecatsthecats · 15/09/2017 12:15

Yeah, I would lay heavy bets on the group being 50% morons, 50% people who are genuinely having a rubbish time.

Worriedrose · 15/09/2017 12:15

Hen weekends are grim. I have only ever been on my 2 best friends ones. Everyone else's I've not gone to.
They make me shudder

existentialmoment · 15/09/2017 12:15

The behavior of some people is appalling. But they are asshats no matter what the occasion is, that has nothing to do with it. "slutty sarah" screeching on the train with her can of lager is just as bad the rest of the time, in different ways.

LittleBooInABox · 15/09/2017 12:16

Really? We just went for a meal and bowling?

Ugh sounds like hell

Original poster
Creambun2 · 15/09/2017 12:17

Sorry one group seems to be a random weekend away. Who the hell would print t-shirts with rude nick names on front and "birches on tour london 2017 on the back" Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Creambun2 · 15/09/2017 12:17

Lol "bitches on tour 2017" even!

OP posts:
Mimsy123 · 15/09/2017 12:17

You're right, especially about the T-Shirts. I saw some at the airport recently that said "Manchester born and bread." Bread! Morons.

shoeaddict83 · 15/09/2017 12:17

Nope having been on several over the last few years i totally agree! Only in my early 30's but this just isnt my thing! My SIL's recently we had to wear pink stetsons and willy shot glasses on necklaces, was just embarrassing a trop of women up to age 60 trooping into pubs like that. Mine is coming up soon and i specifically said i wanted something like a nice meal and cocktail bar/spa afternoon/afternooon tea or something as i dont want this trashy piss up type thing. Dont get me wrong i can have bloody great nights out with the best of them, but i dont get this hen craze of the tshirts/drinking at 9am/tacky props etc.......
now REALLY hoping my friend listened when i said that as i have no idea whats happening on my hen ive just been given a date and told my DP is packing my bags for me so i dont even get a choice in clothes Confused

EamonnWright · 15/09/2017 12:19

It's just people enjoying themselves. It doesn't have to be up to your standards.

LapinR0se · 15/09/2017 12:20

So gross. For my hen we did the 5k race for life and then had a picnic in Regents Park. Much nicer

Original poster
Creambun2 · 15/09/2017 12:21

Oh okay eammon says more about you if you think trashing a train and throwing abuse as a bloke doing his job ia enjoyment.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/09/2017 12:25

It's just people enjoying themselves. It doesn't have to be up to your standards.

Why does their right to 'enjoy themselves' trump everyone else's right to a quiet train journey and the conductor's right to do his job without being abused?

MiddlingMum · 15/09/2017 12:27

I've been on a train with a hen group who behaved so appallingly - on a Saturday morning - that the train staff had to threaten them with being put off at the next stop. Loud bad language, drunken behaviour, empty cans and food rubbish discarded anywhere. Who on earth thinks that is acceptable?

devilmaycarry · 15/09/2017 12:29

When did crudely hyper-sexual hen-nights become so widespread and where did they spread from? I don't remember them at all before sometime in the 1990s, though I suppose I may just have been too young to notice.

Horrible.

PollytheDoily · 15/09/2017 12:30

😩 this would be me in your shoes right now.

Trampire · 15/09/2017 12:30

I didn't have one. This was 14 years ago.

All my close school/college friends were scattered around the U.K./world. Some had small children or were pg. many were travelling to my wedding anyway so I felt selfish asking them to do something twice.

Me and my gay best friend went to his local gay bar and club. It was great fun. My dh went go carting and then out to the pub with his mates.

Now I have children I have more local female friends but I still would only perhaps do a nice high-tea afternoon, maybe a few cocktails after? But I'm 45 now and don't drink much.

I do know the groups you mean OP. I have friends in their 50's who still get smashed unconscious on Prossecco every other weekend, arrange things like 'Butlers in the Buff', go clubbing and try and pull 20 yr olds. I've seen people laugh at them behind their backs. It's mortifying.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 15/09/2017 12:36

I hate it so much 😭 when I'm trying to work or focus on the train and you hear ' omg Leanne you bitch!' Followed by screeches and the scent of vodka...

guilty100 · 15/09/2017 12:38

Awww, I quite like the bawdy humour of it, though it's not my cup of tea (I'm too square).

I do pity people trapped in confined spaces with it, though!!

PollyFlint · 15/09/2017 12:40

It's just people enjoying themselves

No, Eamonn, it isn't 'just' people enjoying themselves at all. It's people behaving like total twats to others.

Trashing a train, making other people's journey a misery, inflicting their music on everyone else, acting like they own the place and dishing out abuse to the staff is selfish antisocial behaviour, whether the group is a hen party, a stag party, a bunch of teenagers en route to festival or boozed-up sports fans.

I have absolutely no problem with naff t-shirts and comedy penises, or with people getting hammered on a night out; that's entirely up to them if that's what they want to do. I do have a problem with people being selfish twats and treating other people like shit, though, which is what the OP has essentially described.

I've never actually been on a hen do where people carried on like that, though. Most of them have just been stuff like spa treatments followed by a boozy night out. One involved a day at a theme park (bride's choice) and a party at a cottage we'd hired for the weekend and for one we went to Go Ape. There was plenty of drinking and novelty penis related shenanigans at all of them, but at no point did any of that infringe on anyone else.

TheBusThatCouldntSlowDown · 15/09/2017 12:41

I see your 'Slutty Sarah' and raise you a 'Claire the Cunt' I spotted on a hen party. Just why? Confused

PollyFlint · 15/09/2017 12:41

Guilty100 Oh, I love a bit of bawdy humour! I just think there's a time and a place, and that isn't on a train with people who aren't part of the party.

Evilstepmum01 · 15/09/2017 12:44

People with tshirts proclaiming they're on a henny seem to think they can act as badly as they want.
Personally I didn't have a henny, mostly because the tradition round here is for the bride to be paraded round town and have food thrown over them. Think soup, flour, eggs. The groom is tarred or blackened, traditionally with tar or treacle, tied to a lamppost and covered in feathers. And flour, eggs etc. Usually the bride/groom is strapped in a trailer and driven round town so folk can wish them well. And chuck eggs at them!
Whilst I love tradition, and a good 'blackening', I warned the few folk who knew we were marrying not to bother and had a nice evening with friends instead!
There's the destination henny too...4 days in the sun getting alcohol poisoning.
Each of their own, just no need to be an asshat and treat it as an excuse to act appallingly.