To keep our finances separate

[user1498912461]

DH and I have separate finances. I work part time and he works full time in a reasonably well paid job. After meeting my mum for coffee yesterday she was horrified to discover we didn't share a bank account. She thought DH could easily run away and drain his account ha ha. DH pays more towards bills and I get to have my financial independence. Just curious about what other couples do?

We have a joint account for all joint expenses, utilities, mortgage, food, childcare etc. We split this amount equally. We then have the rest of our money to do as we please. I tend to buy the kids clothes and he buys meals out, tickets for days out etc. So balances out well.

We personally like financial independence. I don't want to have to explain why my face cream is so expensive and he doesn't want to explain how much his hobbies cost him.
Just do what's right for you

We have joint finances. It works for us as we have the exact same attitude towards money and so never fall out over anything the other has spent etc... so I feel like I can still do what I like and be independent even though we're joint. Funnily we only argued about money prior to making everything joint - we'd fight over who'd pay (both of us always wanted to pay for the other!).

So it's not weird, it works for you but wouldn't work for me. But hey - that applies to loads of stuff so YANBU if it suits you both.

Separate as second marriage for him and he has three kids (18+) and an ex wife whereas I was single till mid 30s, own house etc. It would have been weird to combine, but it works because we have roughly same disposable income.

When I got married I said the traditional vows which go like this....
I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

maybe people do not say that anymore but those were my vows and we have always seen everything as joint. I sometimes read these Mumsnet threads and think oh my goodness, they would all think I was mad if I said how we manage finances. I met DH,married within the year,he moved in to my house which I moved into joint names, we bought new house with deposit from sale of my house with mortgage nearly paid off, new house in joint names. All money into one account that then gets managed by my DH into savings/ISA's etc. I have asked him to write it down for me as I have not a clue where anything other than current a/c is but that works for us. I trust him implicitly and would not have it any other way. However, we are both very cautios with money. Neither of us drink/smoke or have any expensive hobbies and we have never once in 15 years argued about anything financial other than recently he wanted the budget for our new car to be a couple of grand higher than I was comfortable with. Fortunately he found one he liked at my budget and we were both happy. recently my parents sold the family home to move into a small flat and gave us all an early inheritance. I let DH manage the whole lot, after a discussion about what we wanted to spend where. I have friends who budget seperately and they seem to have such crazy conversations about who is buying dinner this time or getting excited that DH bought the groceries this week. makes no sense to me.

We have been together nearly 11 years but we still keep them seperate. I earn more than he does and all bills come out my account. He gives me his share at the start of each month, so just after bills have come out. We split everything proportional to our earnings.
It works for us. 50/50 wouldn't be fair on him cause it would leave him with very little spending money. We even split the food shop down item by item, but that's also because I have coeliac disease and my food costs are greater than his and it wouldn't be fair for him to pay for a portion of my greater costing bread!

I'm the main earner, I pay the bills, for food etc. DP earns less but saves and pays for xmas holidays etc.

We have separate accounts because one of us has a 'bad' debt (before we met) but the money is shared completely. We know how much is left over after all bills, so we just spend on personal stuff when we need to.
Sometime I spend more on clothes etc, sometimes DH does, or we save it when we need to.
We earn more or less the same amount.

Well, me and EXH had separate finances, but a joint account for bills. We both earned similar money
But it didn't stop him being financially abusive though. He never shared information about joint bills, just made me feel guilty at all times about money, so I never spent out of the joint account for food, because I had no clue what was in it, what the overdraft was or anything. So if I did the shopping, it came from my own money. Of course, he regularly moaned that I didn't do the shopping. I moaned that he didn't communicate about money, and so the situation continued.
He stole money directly out of my bank account by setting up on line direct debits for bills I thought I was already paying for through my joint account contribution. In the background, without my knowledge, he remortgaged the almost paid off house, bought expensive sport items for his hobby, and stole all the free credit in the mortgage.
He is still financially abusive to this day, but he has no real levers now.
So, it makes little difference if you have separate finances if they are determined enough.

We were planning to have a joint account for household bills, but my poor credit rating would affect his good one, so I made a decision not to.
Bills are split equally.

I've always kept my finances separate and in an account in my single name. Watching my then SAHM have to beg my father for the 'housekeeping' each week to buy food for their children left a lasting impression. I grew up vowing to never be financially dependent on anyone. I've always worked and we earn roughly the same amount. We pay into a joint household account for bills etc. Ironically, money is the one thing we've never argued about.
Married for over 30 years.

We have separate bank accounts which works well for us. When we first met 15 years ago, I had a very poor credit rating and didn't want DP's credit to be affected by being financially linked with mine. And then because we had separate accounts for the few years that my credit rating was an issue, we got used to it and even though that's no longer a problem, it still works fine for us.

We have a joint mortgage and the payments for that and all our household expenses go out of DP's account and I just set up a standing order to him for a lump sum that covers my contribution. There's no secrecy or anything; I have access to all the household accounts so I can see what's being paid etc if I want to.

DP earns quite a bit more than me so he generally pays for the grocery shopping and for meals out etc. I tend to do a lot of the Christmas shopping and it's usually me that buys stuff for the house, but overall he pays out a lot more than I do just because he earns more.

Despite having separate bank accounts we don't really think of it as 'your money' and 'my money'; we don't sit there quibbling over who pays the bill in restaurants or anything like that. We never really give it a second thought. We don't feel like less of a partnership or anything.

completely separate accounts. I work pt, dh works ft, we have kids I manage all bills and finances. Dh pays all his wages to me except his spending and savings money - we both have separate savings accounts with same amount put in each month.

Separate, everything is separate. I was burned in a previous relationship where it turned out that "joint" does not mean that anything will be shared fairly. In that case, despite him earning six times the amount that I did, I was stripped of almost everything and it was given to him. Since then I've seen joint finances as dangerous.

So many people have said that I'm dooming my current relationship by having that attitude . My savings are my savings - I'll do with them as I wish, his savings are his savings he can use them as he pleases. I pay the bills, he pays for the food from wholesalers. We even it all out and it works for us.

We do what we need to do to get by. We have different goals in life: his include golf, mine do not, so I don't want my money used on that. I don't see the harm in him keeping his money to use on that and me keeping my money to use on my personal goals that I might have held since childhood.

Everything is shared. It has been since we moved in together.

Now we are married, I can't imagine it any differently. We are a team - it doesn't matter who brings in the most money. We look after our family together.

I'm 20 and have had a joint account with my fiancé since I was 19. We share all our money but use my savings account for emergencies/xmas/birthdays and his savings account for rent and bills

Separate finances doesn't mean not sharing or working as a team .
As long as both partners have same spending power after bills and similar savings then separate accounts are fine.

I'd hate having to justify my spending or having dh blow all the budget in a wk

We have a joint account for mortgage, bills, food and petrol which we pay a set amount into every month. Other than that, we have separate finances apart from a joint credit card. No DCs and with both earn a similar amount though DH slightly more than me at the moment so he pays for the odd night out to equal it out.

It works for us. Ive never really wanted completely joint finances. I was previously in a relationship which was physically, emotionally and financially abusive and when I walked away from that I swore I'd never be financially dependent on a man again.

I don't think that you have to have fully joint finances to be a team to be honest. I think having that approach worked well traditionally as women didn't earn as much. However now women work and have financial independence it makes sense to have separate and then split joint bills (however this works for individuals 50/50 or proportional).

The only person I know that had a fully joint account hated it. They've since divorced, nothing to do with the joint account, but at the time I remember her saying she'd have to check with DH before she could spend over a certain amount. I'm not saying that's how it works for everyone but I'd hate that!

We've been together 25 years. Married for 14. Always had separate accounts. 2 DC together. It works for us.

DH and I have always had separate accounts. Makes it easier to deal with taxes. I'm a sahm and he pays money into my account, and I have access to his credit card as well. He covers all mortgage and bills from his account. It works for us. We view finances as joint - neither of us have to justify our spending and we don't split expenses or owe each other money if one of us pays. We don't have to consult each other about any spending and I never feel any guilt about spending.

This has been done to death.

Shared account. I'm a SAHM so need to have access to DHs money which we see as family money. Big purchases over a few hundred £ then we chat about it.

Totally separate. Both happier that way. We know what we have and what we earn - both irregular earnings. We split up after 15 years , (tho still friends), and it was easier to remain civil about money as we knew where we were - there wasn't any fighting. I pay for kids most of the time except when he has them. I don't mind that. He paid the deposit on the house - but it is in my name - he's fine with that too. It is simple and clear.

DH and I have separate finances... entirely separate, now that I think of it. I don't think we've currently got even a bill in both our names! I don't think we ever really thought about it one way or the other, it just slipped our minds to ever get any joint accounts or anything. Obviously we've got the same billing address, but beyond that, I don't think there's anything!

The house we are selling is in my name, because DH already owned a house when we met, and then we moved to a new area not too very long after. We were renting out the first house when we bought the current one, and we weren't yet married, so it was just easier that way.

We are buying our new house together in both of our names, though. I don't know if we'll get joint bills once that's all settled - whatever ends up being easiest, I'm sure.

We certainly never intended it to be that way, and neither of us has mindfully kept separate for financial protection or anything like that. We trust each other implicitly, it's just worked out fine for us is all, and nobody has ever questioned it. It's never made anything difficult in any way.