AIBU or was this woman just being friendly?

[JohnVenn]

I've just gone on maternity leave so am now able to pick my ds up from school each day , it's great to get to meet his teacher before parents' evening for a change , and am loving spending extra time with him. However I'm slightly annoyed at one of the othe mums from the playground.

I was walking towards the gate yesterday and a woman aproached me and asked if I was ds's mum , I said yes. She introduced herself as "Alice's" mum , I smiled and said it was nice to meet her then walked to my corner of the playground to wait for dd.

She then came to my corner and asked if it was true that ds's grandpa had passed away. I was rather taken aback and said no (her great grandpa had but I didn't see that as any of her business) she then apologised and walked away.

My question is was I correct to be annoyed and feel like this was an intrusive question from a busy-body or am I just pissed off because I'm hugely pregnant and in constant discomfort/out of practice with playground etiquette?

YABU and I would also imagine that she now thinks your DS is in the habit of telling fibs

All you've done is pegged your son as a liar, just because you got hung up on the distinction between 'grandpa' and 'great grandpa'. Poor little boy.

Way to go to ruin a potential friendship for your son! And with a child he felt comfortable enough to confide in about something very personal as well. I agree with others it was plain weird to just say no rather than correct to great grandfather. And now the other mum thinks your son makes up that his relatives have died!

Oooops Johnvenn never mind.
Easily fixed.
Next time you see Alice's mum in the playground, head to her corner (if she has one) and just say "sorry Alice's mum, your DD was sort of right but it was Great-grandfather that passed away. Didn't realise until I got home that's what you meant. Btw fancy a cup of tea?"

It could be that despite you being terribly unsociable in your little bit of the playground that you have accidentally stumbled upon your ally for the next few years.

I too am rather anti social.
Hate the school run.
Don't have many 'mum' friends at school but the ones I have are amazing and a cuppa with another school mum whose DC is your DC's friend is a good friend to have. Even if only for Maternity leave (Alice's mum could be the one to give you hand getting DS to school when new baby is crying and DS refuses to walk cos the baby is annoying happened to me at least once a bloody fortnight or some similar situation.)

well, it could have also been that your DS said something to "Alice" about being upset or sad and she wanted to let you know so you could support him better, you just didn't give her a chance to explain why she was asking! Had she gone on to look like she was just after gossip then fair enough being annoyed (and avoid her in the future!).

I would be grateful to somebody wanting to help support my bereaved child, And now "Alice" might very well go on to tell your DS that his mummy said he lied, he will be quite confused by this!

But hey, you were taken aback, it can happen, but, yes, maybe do try and clarify things with her, at least for your DS's sake!

I think I best just keep my steely cold glare on my once weekly school runs. God forbid someone might actually try to be nice to me. Urgh.

I agree with backiejerkheart. Also, now, she may think that your ds is not honest bc you did not clarify that it was a "great" grandparent who passed away.

I personally think it's a very strange way to start a conversation, and I would be annoyed if someone I didn't know came up to me and immediately started asking about the (potential) deaths of people close to me.

Sure, maybe she was trying to be friendly but you'd think that you'd choose to go for something about the school, or the weather etc first, rather than going right in with a question about death. After a more mundane opening you could then ask about it- in a well worded way. Also, if "Alice's" mum did say "Is it true that your DS's grandad has died?" it seems quite an abrupt way of asking (could just be clumsiness though).

Whatever the intention was, imo, that is quite a nosy and inappropriate question to ask someone you've only just met for the first time. Maybe it's just me (I am a pretty private person) but I'd be uncomfortable in this situation, and would also think that it isn't any of her business.

It's very odd all round - grandparent isn't much different to great grandparent but it's a strange question to ask someone you've never met. I've had similar with a mum asking a personal question, although it was in the street and I didn't recognise her at all. The answer was yes but she seemed to change her mind about talking to me and sped up and crossed the road to get away. I suffer with constant pain so feel very anti social too, but I've always felt asking personal questions was rude too. Other people seem far more comfortable with being open very quickly.