to be almost in tears to see my children's term dates for the next year?

[CatONineTails]

Two children, at schools 3 miles apart but in different counties. Each child is at the closest school (by several miles) for their age range.

Every. Single. Fucking. Holiday. is different. Different weeks for October half term. A one week overlap at Christmas but one finishes and starts a week before the other. Different weeks in February. I don't dare check Easter yet

I'm a self employed single parent FFS. How the fuck are working parents meant to manage this? Thats almost 2 months of one or other of the children being off school - it's going to put a serious dent in my income. (Yes I know holiday clubs exist but they're not suitable for my younger child who has Aspergers).

And how the fuck is anyone meant to go from September to fucking Easter with only one week of lie ins?

Yes MaisyPops I agree! I understand teacher training days and in fact don't mind that sometimes they don't coincide as the odd day gives me a chance to spend a bit of 1-1 time with each child and means their teachers are up to date and better equipped to teach them. It's a very minor inconvenience tbh but this holiday malarkey is beyond what I can absorb in terms of loss of working hours.

CatONineTails
I know. It's such a shame that people whining about minor things like training days and not being able to afford a 3 week holiday in florida during the holidays means term dates should chanhe (you know rather than maybe having a 2 week break in europe instead) means that those voices are loudest.

It seems unfair to me that the impact of staggered holidays is so great on people like you when it never needed to be changed like that.

I didn't even realise "staggered holidays" were a thing til last night. It's so far from my life. It never occurred to me that anyone would be pushing for something so ridiculous FFS.

I have gone quite tired since school went back and I only have one ds! We get up earlier term times. I have been nodding off early evenings sometimes for up to an hour and I was even having an occasional nap afternoons at weekends over the summer school hols!

I have one son and three grandsons in school ( different schools) in the same county. Apart from the main Summer holiday there is only one week of the year where they have the same time off! DD struggles with childcare and my son is old enough to help but will still be in school. Holiday clubs only available on the busiest weeks.

The term dates you quoted for Xmas holidays is madness! Especially 14th December. How old is your eldest? Can you leave him at home one or two days, work from home one day or so and organise things with parents and you reciprocate when yours are both off? I know in secondary it's not normal to organise play dates but perhaps some parents would help out.

I take it your ex is not on the scene.

How old is oldest?

That's awful . Any chance either school runs a holiday club? Some round here do.

Neither school run a holiday club.

My oldest is able to entertain themselves much of the time, it just isn't much fun for them and leaves me feeling very guilty.

My youngest needs a lot of attention and I won't be able to work while they're off at all. If both are off at the same time I can usually ask my oldest (13 btw for whoever asked) to watch/entertain the youngest for a couple of hours most days which means I can just about tick over work wise if I work evenings as well. But my youngest is very demanding of ones energy so it's not something I can really ask of other parents.

Sadly my ex is nowhere on the scene. He's completely incapable of helping out for various reasons (x box and smoking weed and shagging teenagers being among his priorities). If I could make him help believe me I would but sadly that's not a realistic prospect.

Same in this house. Oh is a teacher in neighbouring authority, breaks up for Xmas on Dec 14th. DS in school based preschool doesn't break up until the following Friday.
If this happens when he's in actual school we'll end up paying holiday fines as OH's family are abroad. There is only one flight a week (and none at all in summer) and he can't change his holidays being a teacher, so only option will be take dc out of school.

I don't understand why schools can't stick to the same term dates. I'm glad I have now checked mine but it's going to be a big problem for me as a single mum that works, it means I will have to take more time off and means planing trips away will be tricky. I don't think my boss will be understanding. My dd2 has special needs and I usually leave her with her older sister during holidays (I only work 3 hours at a time), now I won't be able too and I can't find any other childcare. Christmas is going to be a long one as dd1 will go back a week before dd2, same with Easter.

That is a bugger but some good advice on here. I'd definitely write to your mp detailing the difficulties you and many other parents must be having with staggered holidays. Whether that will do any good is anyone's guess.
Since you are probably going to have to deal with this for some time would it be possible to move one child to a slightly further away school in the same LA as the other? Or even for you to move to a less rural area with more school choice? Extreme but I can't see how anyone could manage work and basically double the school holidays.
I'd get in touch with your local children's services and ask what holiday club provision there is for your youngest as well.

corby I can't move my kids, dd2 attends a sn school out of county as there was no suitable school in our county. DD1 goes to a school that suits her needs also. I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people who have kids going to school in another county .

Corbyns
Or even for you to move to a less rural area with more school choice?
I bought my house for £60,000 and my mortgage was £200 a month - which I could afford.
Down the road just sold for £350,000 and is being rented out for £1,200 a month.
Moving is not an option for the vast bulk of people in the UK.

Does your eldest have sn too? If not as much as the school she's in might suit her best (I'm think sports or art specialism???) then you might have no choice but to move her to a secondary in the same LA as her sister.

There are plenty of parts of the uk where you can get a 3 bed house for a fair bit under £350k. Much less than half that would get somewhere decent where I am.

We had this last year. Only Christmas overlapped. I am lucky as work from home and can pop DVD on but still a poor holiday experience. Even for parents with just a child in one school it was a pita as no holiday clubs in less popular weeks, friends and family have different holiday times. It only really worked for those with a SAHP and no children/ teaching parents in other schools. I rejoiced when this year saw that they all overlapped, in fact I don't think that I have heard any complaints. Complain to both LEAs and persuade others to do likewise.

Ugh I feel for you, it's the same here, we're right on the border of two local authorities who have two different ideas of when term time is. I know many families who end up with one or two children breaking up on week A and going back in week B, with their third child breaking up in week B, going back in week C. Must be an absolute nightmare trying to organise childcare, holidays etc.

Why should anyone need to move house or school just so a few parents can go on cheaper package holidays and avoid some fines?

Not everyone can move, both my dc's have sn's the youngest (more severe sn's) is the one that's out of country so would be really unfair to move the eldest, it would mean moving house which is almost impossible as I live in a HA property. I shouldn't have to move and neither should OP.

Corbyn

Does your eldest have sn too? If not as much as the school she's in might suit her best (I'm think sports or art specialism???) then you might have no choice but to move her to a secondary in the same LA as her sister

Are you serious? Do you not think an older sibling of a child with SN doesn't already have their life curtailed enough? You would move them from a school that suited their needs so they could help out more? FFS.

Oh and try explaining to a 6yr old why his sister and friends from other schools are on holiday but he still needs to be there everyday. We had a few grumpy mornings. A few days or a week or two different is nice so you can do different things, having various children on holiday for 20 weeks in a year and not having a lie in between Sept and July, other than a week over Christmas is not so fun.

Cat

If it were me, as much as I'd HATE it, I'd look at getting an Au Pair from mid Dec. It's probably the easiest & cheapest option. If you get one your eldest likes then they could probably manage a few days out as well with a lift/bus/taxi combo & if not, it's still a bit of company.

Or would it end up being a better option to move the youngest to a school in the other county, even if it's a longer commute? It might be the lesser of two evils? (if there's a good school for them there)

corbyn
The affordability chart at the bottom of this page
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41254714
shows that a "family home" is out of reach for most people in most of the country.
A £350,000 house means a deposit of £17500 (nearly the median annual salary in itself) and earnings of £120,000 (over four times the median household income)
MOVING IS NOT AN OPTION

"Flexible" school term dates are a PITA for parents who care about their childrens' education
more than they care about Disney.