To not reply to this text

[retainertrainer]

My sister in law has just sent me a text. It's a photo of her DS's name scrawled across a piece of paper titled 'proud mummy moment'. He's just started school and obviously written it himself. I know it's lovely when they start learning and I'm hoping the novelty will wear off but I just can't bring myself to reply!

Thanks Ben.

What's up OP? Why so grumpy?

The moral high ground can be hard to find your way up to retainer but you always feel better when you get there.

It's a bit like exercise, unpleasant and annoying but good for you and worthwhile.

I do like an OP that graciously accepts a swift MN kick up the backside.

In fairness, that is a good point. Sorry OP.

Just send something back quickly, it'll impact your life very little and make the world of difference to them.

What?! This isn't how AIBU works!

You're meant to keep arguing back that you are absolutely bloody not being unreasonable. Not back down on the first page!

To everyone who has said learning to write and similar milestones are really exciting...do you all have kids? I don't and while I can see this is exciting for you, it's not for me. That being said out of politeness I would send a 'well done' text.

Seriously though why the need to photo and text this? I really dislike the " proud mummy" shit.
What happened to pride being a sin ( I am a non believer but I like the sentiment) and pride coming before a fall? No one likes a smug show off (except possibly the child concerned who wants his mum to be prod of him).

Just years of failing health and the impact that's had on my life catching up with me. My brothers family is perfect and I'm happy for him but sometimes it hurts. I've got a DS who's my world,I'm immensely proud of him but I've never been one to boast (I'm not saying sil is boasting in this instance). I'd desperately wanted another baby but it didn't happen for us.

Oh it's just a massive sob story. None of it actually matters. I'm going now. That's for the wake up call,I did need it.

Gosh, I think that refers to pride in yourself. You're allowed to be proud of your kids or family members

Lol, to be fair I've seen worse. A mummy friend of mine put up a picture of her daughters artwork on facebook, one of her friends then commented; "sh*t like that goes straight in my recycling bin".

OP. I dont know your circumstances and I won't share mine but sometimes I feel less than charitable to things like this about my own niece and nephew. There is a huge backstory here as I'm sure you have as well.

It's okay to write "wow clever boy" without meaning or thinking it. In my case it makes me the bigger person.

Just so you know you aren't alone and I suspect not a horrible person either.

Ach, op, you sound awfully sad. I'm not sure what to advise, other than to say I'm sorry about your health and the second child didn't happen for you 💐

blue this is only exciting for the child's parents and possibly grandparents.

It's deeply normal and mundane for everyone else. . However you are right, a brief polite response is required for form.

*thanks even! I think I'm just making this worse for myself,I'm sure you're all thinking how the fuck any of the above is relevant to a simple text message!

retainer it matters to you so of course it's important. You did the right thing in the end - you don't need to be perfect every day.

Thank you colours.

Well done op 😀

Sometimes when you're struggling, it is very difficult to hoist yourself up and do the required thing; even for something as small as a text. Well done for replyingop.

agree with BenLui, I haven't seen many OPs on MN respond so well..!

Well done OP.
Fake it till you make it!

OP

Sometimes if you are struggling an everyday nice thing for someone else can touch a nerve and feel like a real kick in the guts for you. Well done for venting your feeling here (much better than doing in real life). It can be the little mundane things that feel like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back when you are down. And well done for sending your SIL a nice message.

Hope things pick up for you soon

I hate feeling jealous and bitter. I've tried so hard over the years to be happy for people. I've barely even mentioned the emotional impact of not being able to have another baby to anyone. I don't think anyone would really understand because I've got DS and so many people can't have any children at all so I really shouldn't complain but fuck me, so many of my friends and family members have had so many babies and the endless scan photos, bump pictures, gender revealing,baby showers, christening, first solid food, first steps, first day at nursery and photos of their first scrawled word I just want to scream at them to Fuck off and I hate myself for feeling like that.

My dh sis is awful. Ive not got a sister. He only has one. I wish she was like your sil. I do get the just another thing thoughts that can turn you into a crabby cow tho. You've texted back. Good auntie status resumed and you can feel good!

Fair play to you. We all have crappy days where 'stuff' gets in the way and hurts. You've had a vent, done the right thing by SIL. Now it is time to be kind to yourself...