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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you tell your friend about her shoulder pube?

31 replies

NancyDonahue · 13/09/2017 07:54

Background. Good friend (so I thought). Known each other since school. Been through marriages, babies, teenagers etc. See each other weekly.

We met up for coffee yesterday. We do this most weeks as friend works near me on a Tuesday.

Sat outside. As it's a suntrap, it got warm so I took my hoodie off. I had a vest top on underneath.

Friend kept looking past me over my shoulder. I asked what she was looking at. She leaned in and said 'You've got a hair on your shoulder'.

I looked down at my shoulder and couldn't see it so leaned towards her and asked her to get it off. She said 'I can't, it's growing on your shoulder'.

After lots of looking I finally located it on the back of my shoulder. A disgusting thick black wiry pube growing out of my shoulder! Shock. I threw my hoodie on and thanked friend for telling me.

Then came the clanger. 'I saw it last week but I didn't want to embarrass you'.

So, in what kind of fucked up friendship do you not tell your friend about her shoulder pube?Angry AIBU?

OP posts:
Coffeetasteslikeshit · 13/09/2017 07:58

She did tell you. Just not the first time.

She didn't tell you because she didn't want to embarrass you so presumably you are easily embarrassed?

EamonnWright · 13/09/2017 08:00

Never thought I'd see the term shoulder pube but there you are.

EdmundCleverClogs · 13/09/2017 08:01

It's not a pube, but poor you Grin. It could be worse, there was a woman in my family who had a really long one growing from her face. I mean it looked like something a black and white film villain would twiddle when tying a dame to a train track. You can't say anything though, I mean it's nobody's business really to comment on another's body. It was really.... distracting though.

We all have hair - I'm currently sporting a Chewbacca-esque belly thanks to being pregnant with another boy. I wasn't planning on wearing a bikini anytime soon, but still (guess it will keep me warm in winter?).

5rivers7hills · 13/09/2017 08:03

Normally people who say "I didn't want to embarrass you" really mean "I'm a bit of a wet blanket and didn't want to tell you because I'd die of embarrassment if anything like this happened to me"

JumpingJoey · 13/09/2017 08:05

Count your lucky stars. I have one that's started growing in the middle of my cheek. It grows about 1cm overnight I swear and does it by stealth ie doesn't appear for weeks then startles me in the mirror.

Original poster
NancyDonahue · 13/09/2017 08:07

It looked just like a pube. I got dh to check there weren't a little army of them marching up my back but luckily it was a lone wolf.

There's not even a mole there. I do check my moles for hairs. I have a horrible one on my neck that sprouts inches overnight. This was just growing out of normal skin Shock

OP posts:
Skittlesss · 13/09/2017 08:11

Maybe she wasn't sure what it was when she first saw it... then noticed it was still there and realised it was attached?

StarfishSeahorse · 13/09/2017 08:14

GrinGrinGrinGrin

peachandplum · 13/09/2017 08:15

Is it worth being upset about?

Runningpear · 13/09/2017 08:26

You can't do right for doing wrong in this subject - 15 years ago I did tell my friend something like this, she's still reminding me of what I said. I thought I was being 'helpful' Hmm

rightsofwomen · 13/09/2017 08:27

I think she did the right thing. She waited until she knew it wasn't just a one-off thing, or maybe something that you were already aware of and then kindly mentioned it to you.

She sounds caring.

MrLovebucket · 13/09/2017 08:28

Hang on, how come your DH hasn't spotted this shoulder pube but your friend has had an eyeful of it at least twice?

Maybe the first time she didn't realise it was actually growing out of you? When she saw it the 2nd time she realised it wasn't just a stray hair that had landed on you so she spoke up.

At least she told you and where's the picture of aforementioned shoulder pube for us sporners

Devonishome1 · 13/09/2017 08:32

🤣👍

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 13/09/2017 08:35

My best friend and I have a mutual agreement to speak up about such things. Maybe broach it with her?!

PeaceAndLove1 · 13/09/2017 08:35

Sounds like you've got a good friend there. Not an easy thing to come by.

cdtaylornats · 13/09/2017 08:45

First time she just thought it was clinging there and didn't want to discuss whichever weird sexual act got it to the back of your shoulder

Oblomov17 · 13/09/2017 09:41

Sounds fair. She saw it the first time and wondered if it was a one off. The second time, she realised she needed to tell you.

Perfect sign of a good friendship, me thinks.

Ansumpasty · 13/09/2017 10:00

YABU for being sensitive about it, she told you in the end.
I have two that grow from a mole in the front of my neck and I swear that they're the fastest growing hairs on the planet. If I trim them today, there are children using them as a skipping rope in the garden next door by tomorrow.

Nikephorus · 13/09/2017 10:44

I once told a friend at lunch that she had a bit of jam (strawberry) on her cheek - she wasn't very impressed and told me that it was a spot. I didn't like to enquire why she hadn't just squeezed it so it wasn't so damn obvious on her face!
Dog-walking acquaintance has several hairs sprouting on her chin - it's really difficult to stop staring once you've noticed them. How she's missed them in the mirror I don't know but I'm not going to say - she has a DH, he can tell her.

e1y1 · 13/09/2017 11:17

But she didn't tell you either time, the only reason she said something this time was because you noticed she kept looking over you shoulder.

Sounds like she was never going to tell you.

Talcott2007 · 13/09/2017 11:32

OMG! My DM has a thick white slightly curved hair that appears periodically from her right nostril! It actually shines when the light catches it just right and wiggles she she breathes! Sooooo distracting! But I guess it hard to see herself unless its pointed out. I tell her every time it reappears and she is always glad I point it out so she or sometime I can yank it with some tweezers! Job done. EXCEPT we live oppersite ends of the country so don't get see each other very often but my DstepF and DSis live with her but say NOTHING when it pops back out. They wait for me to do it but it can be months in between sprouting and seeing her! They said they don't want her to feel bad and have actually lied about it when she has asked it it has returned!

Whisky2014 · 13/09/2017 11:34

Well maybe the first time she thought it really was a pure and didn't want to bring it up. She told you 2nd time.

Maudlinmaud · 13/09/2017 11:36

God I wish I was your friend. I'd have enjoyed getting my tweezers out and removing it for you.

Idontevencareanymore · 13/09/2017 11:45

I can't get past shoulder pube.

But at least she told you. Eventually.

Nomoresunshine · 13/09/2017 11:49

Maybe she had an mn thread
Do I tell my friend she has a pube on her shoulder?
And we voted yes so she has told you!!