to think a 6yo might be able to put her pjs or uniform on?

[cordeliavorkosigan]

My 6yo dd, who has been physically capable of dressing herself since reception, suddenly seems unable to do this very simple task. It's driving me crazy. Every morning before school, every bed time: I have to go and physically put every item of clothing on her or she faffs endlessly or whines that she knows how to put them on but it's boring .. (before anyone asks she has no SEN, at least that I know of, though I have wondered about anxiety, perhaps that's an issue?) we have no major changes (except school starting); no new baby etc. Apparently she's fine at school. Why? just: why?
some need for reassurance?
do I just dress her (hard, as there are a zillion things to do!)? go back to toddler mode and do sticker charts?
argh!

Why? Because you give in and do it for her! And fine at school because they don't.

Mine would be leaving the house in her pjs if she wasn't ready, she'd only do it once.

Mine have left the house in pjs - and yes only once!

You need 'pop your PJs in quickly and we have time for a story in bed'

Hurry up and get dressed and we can have breakfast/tv/

They all have a price

It was about this age each of mine discovered I can and will leave them at school with pjs on and uniform in a bag. Once was enough.

It was the same with dd. In fact she is 9 and I still get tricked into doing socks occasionally.

I am pretty sure it is a way of getting 'babyish' attention, in other words a sort of 'I don't want to be big enough to go to school, so help me with my uniform'

2 solutions

1. just help and play along (I would probably do this at 6 for a while)
2. laugh and say no, no help, but we are leaving in 5 minutes and she has to go to school in whatever she has on at the time. If necessary carry her downstairs in pjs and start walking to school. I can guarantee that she will not want to go to school in pjs. make sure she believes you would, and take her to school in pjs if you have to.

But at the same time, add in extra cuddles and reassurance at other times

I once said to dds teacher in front of dd - do you know she wants me to help with her socks every morning, and her teacher said DD!!! is a really surprised voice. I wasn't asked to help with socks for a long time.

You need to acquire a sibling to play her off against- literally only thing that works! Oooo dave's got his socks on, Trixie where are yours! On in seconds! I could lend you a couple op if you want to try this

I'm slightly chuckling as all mine went through this stage ... It is frustrating. DD3 spent most of Year 1 putting her school uniform on over her pjs (as they were warm) or her favourite pink fairy dress. I once took her into school before I saw it peeking out under her skirt... I have told my DC I would take them into school with their PJs on and even strapped each if them over the years them in the car before they buckled (having refused to dress) "you can tell Mrs Teacher why you are wearing Dora still..."... (Uniform packed in a bag)...
Good luck and persevere with any (hey this isn't stressing mum) strategy that works with your child. Mine responded to breakfast AFTER you are dressed and then 15 mins of TV/reading/game/special chat time.. before school.
DCs are just obtuse sometimes!

This never fails to work on my 6yo DD
'Quick, see if you can do before I can count to 50.

Ok. She has a 9yo sibling who is fine with clothes, playing off results in screaming and whining. She is terrible at losing games. So sometimes I can say, see if you can get dressed before I'm out of the shower and it works. Other times she concocts a reason she can't do it and just shouts a lot, feels abpmgru and unhappy she has lost the game, and then it spirals with her refusing to eat, come downstairs etc and me calmly restating that she needs clothes on. We'd be late for school for sure , as we walk and she'd never walk there in pjs. Still, maybe I'll try it. Being late once , if it's really once, seems a price worth paying!

Oh and the only thing that worked with pjs was - You have 5 minutes to put pjs on and then it is story time. if you are slow then you miss story time, because you light still goes out at same time.
dd2 was very addicted to bedtime story though.

She once got to lights out with no pjs. So I said good night, turned out the light and left.
She howled for about 20 minutes, then very contritely appeared downstairs in her pjs and asked me to tuck her in, which I did, but as we got up to her bed she said - can I just have a quick story?

needless to say the next night she was veyr quick getting changed

Maybe just readjusting after the summer? Put a new rule in place. My dd (5) isn't allowed downstairs for breakfast until she's dressed herself. I help with tights and tie because she genuinely struggles with those still but she has to do the rest herself. It works. I hope I am not eating my words when she turns 6!!

Steppe, I wonder if that is part of it, the baby attention thing. Maybe it's reassuring for me to put her clothes on for her and maybe the change to a new class, year etc is getting to her. At the same time, it is so annoying when she won't do something useful because "it's booooring". As if I want to do the dishes, get the 43rd drink of milk, whatever!

Wife has this problem with the kids and I don't.

1. No TV in the morning till dress ready to go. If you have to dress them they get up 15 mins earlier the next day to allow for it.

2. similar to 1. Get ready for bed say 15 mins before sleep time and leave them to take as long as they want. Next day they go to bed earlier by however long they went over bed time. The first night they think it's so clever messing about for 20 mins past bedtime. Their face when bed time is 20mins early the next day however!

I have tried this with the story. The screaming goes on for a longer time and restarts with gusto if I don't give in to the story afterwards. Can go for two hours. Which I have done but honestly , it is not worth it.

I like the adjusted time idea.

Also liking the idea to get a surprised reaction from the teacher, especially when she knows this teacher more.
And I'm reassured that other 6 yo and older dc do this... sigh

@Greentulips said it better & more succinctly than me.

Just sing "I will survive" in your head to keep yourself smiling and let us old hats tell you, this happens, it's a stage some (& all 3 of mine !!) (went /) go through.
For DD3 I talked to headmaster who said bring her in in her pjs and clothes in a bag and she would be brought to him by teacher. He was a big teddy bear but no pupil would have wanted that! He winked at me as he said it!

I had this difficulty every morning. My solution was to get them to race each other, or to race me, if one of them is already up and dressed. It mostly works very well. I also use the incentive that they can use their iPad when they're ready, for 10 minutes each. The DD who is ready first has first go.

Wife has this problem with the kids and I don't.

and my mum (Granny) never has any problem with my kids they are as good as gold and do everything she tells them.

Often kids kick off for the person they are closest to. I am very firm and consistent, and don't stand any nonsense etc, but mine will still kick off for me.

That was a very prattish comment to make. Even if you don't have a problem, and have some ideas to offer, don't crap all over your wife to make yourself look good.

Oh, and dd2 also went through a phase of having a massive tempertantrum over nothing most mornings before school.

The solution was the opposite what you might expect.
When she started to kick off about her shoes or whatever, I stopped everything and gave her a huge hug and cuddle. Then kissed and tickles and laughing. Then she was fine.

I tried everything beofre I hit on the stop and cuddle thing. I did all that has been suggested above (even by me!) But it was the cuddle that did it. She was kicked off because she was anxious about something.

I wonder if that would work for your dd? Give her some cuddles first, and then ask her to get dressed.

I have to say though, you know this:
The screaming goes on for a longer time and restarts with gusto if I don't give in to the story afterwards

as soon as you gave in to the story once, you taught her that if she screams long enough you will give in?

'The wife says that goes for her too'- says a lot about the quality of the person writing the statement.
You sound like a tramp.

So feel free to take your I'll informed comments and fuck right off!
Charming.
manclife, if you can't see that the sentence
'Wife has this problem' makes you sound like you are engaging in some one upmanship with your wife, then you may need to rethink whether or not this is the right forum for you.

I don't need to know anything about you or your wife to find that sentence crass. In fact on an anonymous forum where we DON'T know you personally, it is read as it is without background information. That sentence sounds, to an outsider, crass.

How about saying 'My wife' for a start, rather than Wife or The Wife - you sound like a relic from the 1950s.

I could get your post deleted for a personal attack, but you know what? I think I'll let it stand. It says a lot about the person posting it.

Manclif you sound like an absolute dragon tbh. Although we'd all like our kids to be well behaved all the time not everyone wants to be I a constant 'I win battle' with them. And you're right we don't know you but I agree with steppemum it did scream of one up man ship. Also immediately swearing at ppl and referring to your wife as 'the wife' makes you sound like a sad 50's throwback.