To challenge this note from nursery ?

[Blankiefan]

Leaflet came home with 4yo DD from nursery (it's the school nursery). Note is about benefits of outside play and learning. So far, so good... until...

"Boys, in particular, require a means of testing themselves (and true abilities) in a physical manner, which is impossible in the confined space of a school classroom."

AIBU to think this reflects some sort of belief that the boys should be challenged in ways the girls aren't? It's a philosophy I'm uncomfortable with - why should they make a distinction on gender?

She's only been attending this nursery for a fortnight - she goes for afternoon sessions spending the rest of her time at the private nursery she's been at since she was 6 months old. Am I going to be that parent if I complain this soon into her school career? The nursery is part of the school she'll attend for primary.

[Hamilton13]

Aibu to miss my baby when he goes to nursery

Everyone wants him to go now,(1 and a half) and yeah I think its good for him to go but I was gearing myself up for him to go when he's 2 or 3. I will miss him so much

[Hamilton13]

Oh jeeeeze oh iv added this to your post sorry op

[hazeyjane]

Rosieposie - I'd love to know where that piece of info comes from, because I didn't think motor development worked like that (or differentiated between the sexes)

[geekone]

www.savethechildren.org.uk/sites/default/files/images/The_Lost_Boys_Report.pdf

My DS was talked to played with, read too and I could hold a conversation with him by the time he was 2 he is above his age in reading and writing and maths. However in P1 compared to girls he found sitting for extended periods difficult. He learns better when things are expressed physically. He still doesn't like to sit and colour in he prefers to go and kick a ball in the back garden. This isn't how I brought him up neither his DF or myself like ball sports and I was always encouraging him to sit with me and draw or make things but to no avail. Boys and girls are different one is not better than the other and we do need to adjust education to accommodate this. As I said this isn't exclusive and there are boys and girls who buck the trend.

[eulmh]

Whilst as a generalisation that may be true, they should not be saying boys in particular! I'm really shocked that they've said that

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@geekone so that's what you've concluded from your sample of one child? Who sounds like he's got his own personality and individuality. Boys and girls are different to each other as much as boys are different to other boys and girls to other girls. Children are individuals. Adjusting their education because of their sex is not the right way to try and take into account their individuality.

[strawberrisc]

My DD was always moved up a class in nursery. Firstly she dropped her midday nap at an extremely young age. When all the babies went down for a nap she'd rattle the bars of her cot and shout "hiya!" She had boundless energy and was on the go 24-7.

Only now at 13 has she been diagnosed with ADHD.

YANBU.

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

they are fucking irrelevant anecdotes that tell us nothing except you like talking about yourself.

Well thats the whole of mumsnet summed up

[Abbylee]

I think boys are more boisterous and physical. How does this brochure specifically hurt your child? I would rather have my dc's run the energy off than be put on adhd drugs bc they don't get enough exercise.

My ds was often threatened with drugs bc he wiggled his leg. I refused. My mother told me that all children need exercise and hasn't changed since 1950s. What's changed is school's expectations. You will run into enough trouble, don't go looking for it. You need to appear reasonable bc when your dc actually needs help,

Look up physical differences of genders. Maybe they do need more? No matter what, children need breaks; physical and mental. Some boys need more, some girls do.

[BitterLittlePoster]

Jesus, who are you people?

OP, YADNBU

[Oblomov17]

I'm surprised a nursery actually put this in writing!!
Some children, boys or girls, need more physical exercise than others. Many mums say their children need it. Others not so much.
I don't need it myself and prefer to be at home doing very little. But to make sweeping generalisations, isn't helpful.

[valeinoyikbuno]

OJZJ the differences you have noticed are real but they are not genetic. Girls and boys start being socialised into these different types from birth because of unconscious bias even in people who think they aren't sexist. has been doing the rounds recently - this is a real phenomenon. It's a really important part of building a more equal society (which obviously not everyone wants but I think most mumsnetters do) to ensure that everyone involved in the care of young children is aware of their own potential for unconscious bias like this and strives to overcome it. Concepts of gendered character types are damaging to boys as well as girls.

[strawberrisc]

OJZJ sorry, can you repeat that?

[Stellato]

Boys and girls display different characteristics BECAUSE WE TRAIN THEM TO BE DIFFERENT THROUGH SOCIALISATION. IT IS NOT INHERENT. Sorry for yelling.

It's incredibly damaging to reinforce these stereotypes. It causes, in extreme cases, psychological trauma and lifelong pain for the children who don't neatly fit the shitty little stereotypical gender boxes we make in our society and try to force everyone to fit despite anyone with a brain being able to see that for every "rule" of gender there are many many people who don't fit the rule.

I hate gender stereotypes, they make me so mad. Gender brings out the absolute worst in people by exposing sexist, chauvinist beliefs, it sanctions violent behaviour from boys and men ("boys being boys", "men have needs" blah blah blah), it limits the ambitions of both boys and girls to "allowed" roles. I could go on.

We should just stop trying to force our children to be anything other than themselves. If the nursery had said they were segregating activities based on race everyone would be horrified. This is exactly the same.

[HereBeFuckery]

Could some of the 'boys do need more exercise/challenges than girls' posters please have a word with my DD, 3.5, who outclimbs, outpaces, and takes more risks than a gang of five year old boys she hangs out with? She hasn't had the memo about being happy to sit and colour, clearly.

[newdaylight]

I hope to become a foster carer, adoptive parent, playeworker too....are there any other qualifications I need to talk believe rubbish and ignore evidence?

[Babypythagorus]

Totally unacceptable. Write to the head/manager and suggest they watch the BBC programme (still on iplayer i think) about how and why we can remove sexism from the Early Years.

[Veterinari]

Copper

Can you please point out the prepubertal testosterone surge that you claim exists on this graph?

Or provide any evidence for your opinion? Repeatedly asserting a myth doesn't make it true.

[hazeyjane]

ADHD meds for 'leg wiggling'??! crikey.

OJZJ - it is perfectly possible to want to address the constant stereotyping of boys and girls (which has negative connotations for both sexes) and to want to do something to stop FGM.

Geekone the Save The Children info you posted talked about the exact problem - that the treating of boys and girls as beings that come from different planets is detrimental to both sexes, because the assumption that boys don't like reading, mark making etc means that we treat these things differently.

All children need physical exercise, all children need to have good motor development promoted in their early years, all children need to be taught that they can try, regardless of their sex.

[Witsender]

The testosterone surge theory was disproved wasn't it?

[PokemonDont]

they are fucking irrelevant anecdotes that tell us nothing except you like talking about yourself.

Well thats the whole of mumsnet summed up

The truest thing I've ever read on here ^

[Lovelymess]

YANBU, v sexist attitude & whoever wrote it clearly hasn't met my girls

[DeleteOrDecay]

Why don't women compete along side men in the olympics? Why don't women compete with men at football matches? I really could mention every sport here but I won't..... physically we are different our pysical needs are different.

As adults yes men and women are different physically. A 4 years old? Not so much.

and although it pains me to say it, they have a point.
They have a point because that's the way girls and boys are socialised. If boys weren't socialised to be 'boisterous' and girls weren't socialised to be 'pretty princesses' then we wouldn't even be having this discussion in the first place.

He learns better when things are expressed physically. He still doesn't like to sit and colour in he prefers to go and kick a ball in the back garden

Surely that's down to personality type rather than gender. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who prefer to kick a ball rather than sit and draw.. I was one of them as a child.

This thread is actually horrifying. I can't believe how many people, especially those that work with young children, buy into and perpetuate gender stereotypes without even realising it.

[jwpetal]

You need to speak to the nursery. I have twin girls and a boy and yes, the girls can sit still longer, but they need to move also. The physical exercise is great for their mental well being and need the outdoors just as much as boys. I think there is some fallacy about girls and movement. If they are writing these types of letters, then I would suspect they are treating them differently. If you haven't watched this yet, I would highly recommend: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09202jz