To challenge this note from nursery ?

[Blankiefan]

Leaflet came home with 4yo DD from nursery (it's the school nursery). Note is about benefits of outside play and learning. So far, so good... until...

"Boys, in particular, require a means of testing themselves (and true abilities) in a physical manner, which is impossible in the confined space of a school classroom."

AIBU to think this reflects some sort of belief that the boys should be challenged in ways the girls aren't? It's a philosophy I'm uncomfortable with - why should they make a distinction on gender?

She's only been attending this nursery for a fortnight - she goes for afternoon sessions spending the rest of her time at the private nursery she's been at since she was 6 months old. Am I going to be that parent if I complain this soon into her school career? The nursery is part of the school she'll attend for primary.

[koalab]

Send them the link to the No More Boys and Girls documentary that was on the BBC a couple of weeks ago. It discusses the lack of physicality differences between boys and girls under 7.

[Jamhandprints]

My DS's do need to run and climb constantly, whereas many little girls I know will sit and draw or play quietly. So I understand that the practitioners may think that, but I don't think it's professional to send that out to parents. But I wouldn't complain...that's speaking from experience. As soon as you do, all staff will hate you forever. Just accept that they are not perfect...unless anyone is in danger, obviously!

[Foxglovesandsweetpeas]

Having had a boy and a girl I don't think it's unreasonable. My son was like a wild animal at that age and needed to burn off so much surplus energy as he was literally bouncing off the walls whereas my daughter was much happier sitting and looking at books, colouring, playing with toys or doing puzzles. When I lived in Ireland there was a saying I used to hear which made me smile "Boys wreck your house, girls wreck your head!" - this has certainly been my experience!

[FizzyGreenWater]

they don't need it more.

one could argue that in a society that constantly tries to tell women that they should be meeker, take up less space, expect to be less 'sporty' and physically able, and measure their physical attributes on the scale of how attractive men find them rather than how healthy and useful those attributes are to themselves- ie agility, strength - that it's girls that need to be taught that the playground is there for them to stretch themselves in, just as much as if not more so than boys.

[FizzyGreenWater]

I would not be happy with that note.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

It's really worrying, and quite depressing, how many people on this thread believe that crap.

[Blankiefan]

I don't buy that boys and girls of nursery age have different needs. I think differences that people see have been socialised in these kids already (little girls being praised for playing nicely and little boys being praised for being brave); the recent BBC documentary references by PP shows exactly this sort of unconscious bias in action

Im torn between making an issue "already" and being clear that I'll challenge this type of everyday sexism...

[WalkanTalk]

Are they taking the piss?

I'd definitley not be afraid to politely advise them that I don't want my daughter being taught with this ideology. I think that's totally fair enough on your part.

[milliemolliemou]

OP I would ask them gently to explain what they meant and why girls didn't have the same needs.

@LondonLass Boys and girls are all on a spectrum. My DS would not need to sprint around at that age (can I just sit and read a picture book) or play games and run around but my DD loved to.

The problem with the nursery's decision and phrasing is it sounds as if girls who want to run around could be excluded. And if this is the nursery for a primary school, that attitude could extend to the primary playground where girls just sit on benches while boys play games in the middle.

If I was the OP I'd go in mildly.

[QuackDuckQuack]

But when we reduce to 'boys need x' and 'girls need y' we are at particular risk of providing poorly to those children who don't fit the average. Academically my DD has a profile more typical of boys (good at maths, doesn't much like writing) so all of the focus on engaging boys in writing and boosting girls' confidence in maths completely misses my DD.

[PedroPonyismyspiritanimal]

YANBU to say something. I've challenged similar things at my DD's nursery. It's not true that boys need more physical exercise than girls at that age. I wouldn't want the nursery to be perpetuating stereotypes so early.

[Nan0second]

There are no differences except societally engineered ones between nursery aged boys and girls. All children need exercise. All children need physical testing. Many females are kinetic learners, as are many males.
I would be really annoyed too. I would say something and I would expect it to make fuck all difference (based on observed attitudes here and in life). I would start looking for alternative childcare too for the longer term if I had a girl as I don't want my 2 or 3 year old taught that she doesn't need to run around

[CbeebiesAddict]

Gosh that is depressing. Until puberty girls and boys are pretty much the same physically. Perhaps people know girls who 'need' less exercise because the girls have learnt that they are supposed to sit nice and quietly...

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

I've worked in a few different early years settings and can categorically say that ALL children of this age regardless of sex need physical outdoor play, 'exercise' if you will.

In reference to a PP point it helps many of them stop being "little shits in class" which is not the sole remit of boys either.

[GlitterGlue]

Well it's true, they do have different needs. The three year old girls need to learn to hoover and have dinner ready for those three year old boys when they return from a hard day on the climbing frame.

[Kailoer]

Can't posters see that what individual boys and girls need isn't the problem

The problem is the poorly worded generalisation in the note which is not based on science

Boys and girls may have different physical needs, yes (e.g. calorie intake if you look at the mean resting metabolic rate, if I pull a credible guess out of thin air). That should be based on science.

But the wording isn't saying that - it's casual sexism NOT based on science, it's a value judgement based on a gendered bias regarding optimal environment

In other words, it's bollocks

Op should challenge

It's possible the author has read/been trained in a worthy way but it's come out all wrong - but it needs to be queried!

[QuackDuckQuack]

When i worked in a nursery. There was a spefic training day based on boys needs, a big part of the day was physical needs

Just because you've attended training doesn't actually make the training true. Education is awash with people offering training that isn't evidence based and education staff often don't have the background knowledge or experience to be able to critique the ideas presented or the time to do so. It's scandalous.

[hazeyjane]

I would ask them to change it to 'children need a means of testing themselves....'. This kind of gendered crapola shouldn't have a place in early years.

[Kailoer]

QuackDuckQuack your example of your Maths literate DD being sorely served if we use these types of generalisations & don't challenge them is spot on. Great example

[Seeingadistance]

I would challenge it. It's sexist bullshit and one another way of socialising little girls to sit quietly and be passive.

For all those who're saying that boys and girls are different - well yes, they are - that biology for you, but when it comes to physical exercise any differences are more about socialisation, or indeed, people seeing what they want to see.

I grew up on a farm, and was more or less left to my own devices as a child. I climbed trees, built dens, played on the roofs of our house and shed, had a bumpy track that I zoomed around on a my bike, and I used to tie an old trike to my dog's collar and trained her to pull me on my trike up the road at speed.

[Oly5]

Yanbu
You need to tell them it's sexist abs needs changing and hat you'd like your daughter to have lots of
Outdoor play thank you very much

[Montsti]

Yes it's a generalization but it's more than often true that boys, in general partake in more physical activities than girls at that age...

I've got 4 kids - mixed gender and have spent a lot of time with both genders over the years and this is mostly true. Obviously there are exceptions....

I'm glad I live abroad TBH as everyone seems to be constantly offended in the UK...what the hell is going on there?

[grannytomine]

It is awful and I think you should challenge it. Ridiculous to lump all boys into one group and all girls into another.

[ElizabethShaw]

Of course its totally sexist to state that 3 and 4 year old boys "need" physical challenge and exercise in a way that girls don't.

Boys "need" it only because they are expected to be active, physical etc from birth, while girls bare expected to be quiet, calm, gentle.

I would be very concerned about anyone working in Early years who really believes boys are x and girls are y, as if it is innate.

[mogulfield]

The nursery is right, boys are big and strong and brave and love physical activity. Girls should be doing arts and crafts and should be seen and not heard. They should wear pink restrictive dresses, ridiculous shoes and look pretty.
Boys and girls are different, it's just what they want.

OR everyone should watch no more boys and girls on BBC iPlayer and watch actual science debunk these myths. Before hormones girls and boys are the same.
Brains are neuroplastic and WE mould them by treating them differently.