To challenge this note from nursery ?

[Blankiefan]

Leaflet came home with 4yo DD from nursery (it's the school nursery). Note is about benefits of outside play and learning. So far, so good... until...

"Boys, in particular, require a means of testing themselves (and true abilities) in a physical manner, which is impossible in the confined space of a school classroom."

AIBU to think this reflects some sort of belief that the boys should be challenged in ways the girls aren't? It's a philosophy I'm uncomfortable with - why should they make a distinction on gender?

She's only been attending this nursery for a fortnight - she goes for afternoon sessions spending the rest of her time at the private nursery she's been at since she was 6 months old. Am I going to be that parent if I complain this soon into her school career? The nursery is part of the school she'll attend for primary.

[corythatwas]

As for the bit about being able to test yourself physically, I'd say that's even more important for pre-school girls: after all, they are the ones who are going to have to live in a world that constantly whispers in their ear that their bodies aren't really up to much and that any male creature is bound to be better than them not only at running and jumping but at managing tools and designing objects and understanding mechanics and crafting wood and metal.

The confidence instilled by being the champion climber at 3 or 4 might well inspire at least some girls to go on and test themselves at something else at 11 or 16 or 21.

When I was a young woman I did heavy manual work for a while. I wasn't as good as the very best men. But I was easily as good as the average men. And as they got paid for being average at that job, why shouldn't I? Now that attitude stemmed from a childhood where girls were encouraged to test themselves against the boys. And as it is a perfectly fair and reasonable attitude I am glad that I was allowed to develop it.

[corythatwas]

It is a well known fact that many children today grow up out of touch with their needs to be physically active and that this is a serious health problem in the UK. Putting any information out there suggesting that little girls do not have the same needs to be physically active seems grossly irresponsible: after all, we can see women all around us whose bodies are struggling to cope due to insufficient exercise.

Little girls need to learn that their bodies need physical activity just like they need nutritious food and dental hygiene. They need to learn it from being told and from experiencing it as a daily part of living. As do little boys.

It may well be that studies could prove that little girls are keener on brushing their teeth and washing their hands. Who would make that the subject of a pamphlet stating that hygiene is particularly important to little girls so they must be given the opportunity to clean their teeth?

Not cleaning your teeth is bad for you. Not keeping physically active is bad for you. Regardless of sex. That's all anyone needs to know.

[faithinthesound]

boys and girls are different

Well, no. Post-pubescent boys and girls are different. Men and women are different. Pre-pubescent boys and girls, however, are largely much of a muchness, and at that very young age there's very little difference at all physically in terms of strength etc.

What little difference there is tends to be a matter of perception. It's a bit like, two toddlers fall down. Sophie's mommy runs to her and asks if she's okay, helps her to her feet, gives her a cuddle... while Johnny's mommy encourages him to get back up, tells him he's a big boy, and how brave!

DISCLAIMER: No, this is not true for every parent of every child in the world (though I'm sure someone will be along later to read every part of my post except this disclaimer and tell me how wrong I am ). It is a description of the patterns I have observed in the course of my lived experiences.

Anyway, the pamphlet says Boys, in particular, require a means of testing themselves (and true abilities) in a physical manner, which is impossible in the confined space of a school classroom. What it should say is Children require a means of testing themselves (and true abilities) in a physical manner, which is impossible in the confined space of a school classroom. The information is essentially true but to apply it only to boys is wrong and it just perpetuates this idea that boys are rough and tumble while girls are docile and retiring. It helps no one and just means that harmful stereotyping persists.

[TrailingWife]

One of the problems with the "boys are special and need special things" mindset is that it teaches the boys to be sexist.

I couldn't figure out why this thread annoyed me so much because my own children are far past this stage, but one of my DDs is in uni training for a very male dominated career, and routinely has her male collogues say stupid things to her. It's hard to believe its 2017 with some of it. But with parents and teachers who think boys are so special and need something extra, and girls just..... nothing really on that, skip back to the boys, it's no wonder that we have young men who arrive at uni and see the young women in their classes as potential dates and nothing more.

After all, when the girls were little, they didn't even need to play outside. They didn't need to test their abilities. It's like we are back in Victorian times.

I don't understand how any MOTHER, who is be definition a WOMAN, can be so blind to sexism. Surely no one wants to raise their son to be sexist. Why is it so hard to see sexism and just say no?

[streetface]

I'm also a mother of boys and girls and hand on heart, it is my girls, not my boy who is the most physical. My son is also the most caring / affectionate. Your personal experience of your own children does not mean you can use their sex to make blanket assumptions about other people's children of the same sex.

[DeleteOrDecay]

it's a fact

No it's not. That is your experience but that doesn't make it a fact.

Watched the BBC documentary, it was amazing to see how quickly the kids minds could be changed and how the confidence in the girls and empathy in the boys grew so much in just a few days. All it took was just a few small changes.

Anyone who believes boys and girls are different needs to watch it. It's eye opening.

[Witsender]

Haven't a lot of Biddulph's assertions been discredited?

[Tazmum01]

'Raising boys - Steve Biddulph' . Boys and girls ARE different.
I'm a mother of two boys and one girl.

[newdaylight]

Be smart about it. Change the locks, take half the money out of the account. Make copies of important papers.
I was thinking a word with the manager might suffice...

[TrailingWife]

@insancerre I'm confused. Did the government also publish what girls need? Did it address how sexism hurts girls? Did it give guidance on how to raise girls to be strong women?

Treating young children differently based on their gender is damaging to girls. Really. It stunts them.

[nannykatherine]

obviously girls need physical exercise and outside play
but having looked after lots and lots of little boys i know they NEED to get outside everyday to run ...
it's a fact.
then they are much calmer when they come back in

[manicmij]

If it's school run then L.A. education dept will be involved in policies etc. Would ask exactly which one dictates that boys need this but girls do not and on what basis is this founded. Ridiculous in this day and age.

[Fillyfolly]

mogulfield, I will watch the documentary thanks for the suggestion.

[insancerre]

The guidance actually came from the government
www.foundationyears.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Confident_Capable_Boys.pdf

[mogulfield]

filly have you see the documentary on BBC about this very issue? It's backed up by actual science. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09202jz

People aren't being ridiculous, it's important. At least watch this and then come back and tell us we're ridiculous.

[Natsku]

Started watching it yesterday and DD watched a bit with me and was quite interested by the way the teacher called the girls 'love' and the boys 'mate', it was quite alien to her (thankfully!)

[DeleteOrDecay]

I plan on watching that documentary tonight, been putting it off for far too long.

[CountFosco]

Government advice for exercise is the same for adult men and women despite the slight differences in the median height. As a country we have the lowest rates of adult females doing regular exercise in Europe, that's why we have the 'This Girl Can' campaign, to get women to exercise more. This is a long term serious issue. If nurseries are already seeing differences in how boys and girls exercise and use physical space then if anything I'd suggest they should have times when only the girls go outside to allow them to reclaim the space they are normally excluded from.

Please, everyone, go and watch the 'No more boys and girls' programme on iPlayer and then think about the changes that were seen in the kids. The change in confidence in the girls and behaviour in the boys was incredible once the exposure to harmful stereotypes was reduced.

[Damnthatonestaken]

When people say oh but my son did x compared to girls, they arent comparing their son to all girls. It doesnt actually prove anything about all girls just because something is true about a few that one person knows

[Damnthatonestaken]

This topic has nothing to do with being gender neutral. Its about failure to recognize the needs of different children, which is not based soley or even closely along gender lines. Boys and girls play differently because they are socialised to play differently. Parents are more likely to encourage boys to run and be loud. Yanbu op

[poorbuthappy]

Children as young as 9 months-old prefer to play with toys specific to their own gender, according to a new study.

I adore this comment....it's like they managed to get the 9 month olds to complete a form saying what their preferred gender is.....

It's everything which is wrong with this situation in a neat little sentence...

[TrailingWife]

I find it ironic that so many parents of boys think this is fine because they see their sons need for vigorous play, but are unable to see how inappropriate and hurtful the message is to girls because it reinforces harmful cultural bias and messages.

[Fillyfolly]

I'm not jumping on this "gender neutral" band wagon. It's ridiculous in my opinion. Of course females and males have different needs. The wording of the letter could have been more diplomatic, but I do believe that boys and girls especially at that age do play differently.

To go slightly off topic, I also think it's crazy for children to identify themselves as "gender neutral". I makes me cringe actually. Just one more thing to mess up the minds of the young in my opinion.

[jwpetal]

You need to speak to the nursery. I have twin girls and a boy and yes, the girls can sit still longer, but they need to move also. The physical exercise is great for their mental well being and need the outdoors just as much as boys. I think there is some fallacy about girls and movement. If they are writing these types of letters, then I would suspect they are treating them differently. If you haven't watched this yet, I would highly recommend: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09202jz