To think it's perfectly ok to be quiet without having to be told.

[peggiesue]

I've always been quiet and at times it's been hard. I've always wanted to be more outgoing and I envy people who have loads of self confidence and aren't afraid to be heard. What i hate more than anything is when people draw attention to it. If you're loud nobody says "aren't you loud", but when it comes to quiet people it's like we have to be told about it. Why, don't they think we KNOW. All it does with me is make me even quieter. Does anyone else get this.

you tend only to notice the comments that are relevant to you though. If you are quiet you do not here all the things people say about loud people.
That's just it, because i am quiet i do hear what's going on. Believe me i've never heard it said. To say to someone you hardly know, "aren't you loud" is a very obvious insult. Saying "aren't you quiet" is not so obvious an insult....except to the quiet person it's aimed at. In other words it's considered socially acceptable itms.

I'm quiet and to be honest, I find loud people are often quite rude. (Sorry). They don't tend to read other people very well as they are just intent on getting themselves heard, so they're not too good at listening to others and taking the hint that someone else is actually wanting to speak. They just steamroller over group conversations.

It'a why I don't like big group social occasions. I never have. I'd rather just be with one or two others so that the conversation was more natural and intimate.

Apparently I'm loud but I honestly don't think I am. I'm always tell people please tell me when I'm being like that so I can change and when they do i evaluate what's been going on and I honestly don't think I'm any louder than anyone else.

But if others are telling you, Blue, they obviously see it differently.

I'm quiet. It's because my parents taught me that I had nothing useful to impart and if I spoke I was lying. (Even if I were reading a letter aloud) So I rarely speak.

Telling me I'm quiet just reinforces that.
It hurts. I want to be gregarious but I'm not. My parents smacked me down so hard that it's hard to live a normal life and chat to anyone.

Op i have this happen to me too. 'Why are you so quiet?' 'You're really quiet!' Etc. I hate it. It even happens sometimes when I feel like im actually making a big effort to be more outgoing/talkative!

But let's face it. Quiet people are a bit boring frankly.

Oh and apparently i dont smile enough either! People feel the need to tell me this.

tiger on the contrary, it's all about having a little patience with a quiet person. Take the time to get to know them. I know loads of very outgoing confident people who are very boring, mainly because they only want to talk about themselves and don't want to listen to what others have to say.

Well I'd rather be having a laugh with my muckers than waiting for someone to fetch up a pearl of wisdom: each to their own. I think there's a certain arrogance/supercilience that some quiet types have. Not everyone but the deep silent stand offishish types are no barrel of laughs

How are quiet people any more boring than self styled "gregarious" people bollocking on at full throttle about whatever nonsense comes into their head?
Most of their audience won't be actually listening at all, just unable to get a bloody word in.
I find that type unbearably tedious, but I suppose there's a middle ground?

Recently met with DP's boss who is the very talkative type. I'm very envious of people who can talk for hours about nothing in particular. Thought it was going along all fine and we were getting on well, until he remarks that I'm far too quiet and I should have a few minutes to talk about myself and say what subjects I am interested in, like I was in some kind of interview. That threw me right off so spent the rest of the evening feeling like I wasn't good enough to be there forcing myself to think of something interesting to say. Before that we were just having general chit chat which (I thought) I was contributing well to.