Posting under a name change just in case. But I have finally had enough of my sister and her children and my mum.
In short, they are allowed to do what they like. If they don't they whine. It is so totally scripted. They ask for something. Any hint of a no gets a long whine or a grizzle until they get given what they want.
My mum dealt with us as children that no meant no and that is it. But her "cute" grand-kids are allowed the most appalling behaviour for no reason.
A huge bugbear of mine is respect for my property which is never shown. I have banned them as being guests in my home as my sisters children are in my bedroom, my study, my bathroom cupboards, my fridge, my food cupboards, the lot. They take what they want. One of them took, stood on and damaged the screen of my tablet in my study. My sister sits and watches it and when I finally deal with them myself and shout at the children to stop what they are doing in my home, she sternly tells me not to be mean to them and she will deal them...but she doesn't. So I banned her from coming to my house but I still get it at hers and on family gatherings at my parents.
The little one in particular (they are 3 and 5) is particularly disrespectful of my things. My phone is a target for him and he has been trying to get it for about a year. He knows I wont let him have it and he tries everything to get it. He sits next to me when I need to use my phone, asks what I am doing, are you playing games, I want to play, etc. I just ignore him and put it away when I've finished.
But what drives me crazy is a few times I have caught him taking my handbag and going into it for my phone. The screen is passcode locked so he wouldnt be able to use it but he may break it. I have gone as far as putting my bag high on a shelf and they have climbed on chairs to try and get it. So it isn't me being careless. At 3.5 and nearly 6 they are old enough to understand they are not allowed my handbag and to respect that. They aren't babies.
There are also prescription drugs in my handbag. They are in foil blisters so not in child proof bottles. I need to take them during the day so they need to be in my bag. I finally let rip at my sister last time I caught the 3 year old with my bag and said to teach her children to keep out of my handbag and respect peoples property. She said they were doing no harm. I said there are prescription drugs in there and would she like to risk a hospital trip just because her kids wont leave my bag alone. My sister actually said I shouldn't carry my pills in my bag.......!
So I am not supposed to carry my pills that I need during the day in my own bag and I am just supposed to allow them to go in my handbag?
It has got to the point where her children are deliberately goading me every time they see me about this issue.
They see their mother and grandmother letting them do what they like and telling me to give them the things of mine that they want. Their mother tells me in front of them to let them have it and when I say no, they get annoyed. But because their mother tells me in front of them oh let them have it, they see it as a game now I think, seeing when I'll give in.
It is EVERY time I see them. There are certain things of mine they want and they KNOW I will not allow them to have but they try every time as their mother encourages me to hand my stuff over. I have to watch my things like a hawk as I know they dont respect things and will take without asking.
It is a horrible thing to say but I actually now cant stand being around the children. I dont actually want to see them anymore. In a way in it not their fault but their mother won't see sense and their behaviour is terrible.
WIBU to back off and just stop going to see them at all?