To think a 'relationship' between a 12yo and 8yo is weird?

[WetsTheFinger]

My 12yo DD's classmate is 'going out with' an 8yo. The mother of the 12yo was laughing about it with a couple of other parents this morning and said they'd been inseparable over the holidays and created dens in which to kiss. They talked about this like it is just harmless children having fun. Now for me, if that was two 8 yos then yes it would be sweet and cute, but a 12yo??? They will be 13 this school year... I just think it is wrong. What do you think?

FFS, what happened to children being friends??

Not funny or cute

Neither parent is being responsible

Who knows what's really going on?

Kids aren't ready for the emotional fallout

Yes, if this true that's definitely a bit weird. There's a big gulf between eight and twelve, physically and mentally. A 12-year-old is approaching puberty.

Wrong! I also wouldn't find it cute and sweet if my 8 year old was making dens to kiss another 8 year old, never mind a 12 year old.

Wtf
Do you know who the 8 year old is? You should refer this to social services. Hiding in dens to kiss? That's way fucked up.

That's odd if you ask me.

I'm guessing that your daughters friend is in year 8?

Most 12 year old girls wouldn't even want to be friends with an 8 year old boy.

I have two 9 yos. I would not allow either of them to "hide in dens to kiss."

Yes, that's not right.

On the information given - no, not okay

My 12 year old thinks my 8 year old and all his friends are highly annoying and doesn't want them anywhere near her. I'd worry about her mental health if she showed a romantic interest in 1 of them.

Have you got 8yo and Year 8 muddled?

Huh? Surely they are not 'going out' going out?

I used to help out at a local summer kids club when I was about 12-14 and often younger kids, particularly boys for some reason, would latch on to me and want to hang around with me. It was a bit of a joke and some of their mums used to joke that I was their 'girlfriend' but in no way was it considered that it was a dating scenario!

I wouldnt be happy if my 8 y/o son was inseparable from 12y/o girl and hiding it tents kissing. 12 y/o should be exploring her own age group. Unhealthy for both!

Wierd with a capital W.

Does this boys mother know like pp says. I would'nt be pleased if this were my son. In fact. I'd be pretty disgusted.

No definitely 8 year old and 12 year old. The mum said they call themselves girlfriend and boyfriend and say they are 'going out' which I'm reliably informed by the kidz is like dating/courting. I have no idea what to do with the information - I'm assuming I need to speak to the school. But when it regards two children I've never even spoken too... will that not make me seem batshit?

Two 8 year olds - not great.
Two 12 year olds - not great.
An 8 and 12 year old is not right at all.

Why do you need to speak to the school?

I am the owner of a (just) 12 year old and she finds 8 year old annoying. She actually finds her 11 year old DB annoying!

This is not right.

I would not allow my 12 year old to build kissing dens with anyone, I would tell her to go play with her dolls, then be laughed at, while she put on make up and went shopping! Actually, she would go practice karate a bit more, go for a bike ride, or hide in her room with a mush on!

I have a 12 year old. Her and her friends are in second year at secondary. My second child is eight in three weeks. The maturity/physical development is massive. There's absolutely no way id be happy with a boy in my eldests year going out with my younger daughter.

I agree that you need to inform someone, not sure who though.

It could be innocent, a really immature 12 year old and a really grown up 8 year old but it's more likely that there's something worrying going on imo.

My first reaction was that maybe this 12 year old is going through puberty and finding themselves attracted to children. Could be totally wrong but the worry of that would prompt me to inform either the school or social services.

Honestly - I'm a social worker, this rings massive alarm bells. People would be shocked at the way children can act out sexually. This is really risky.

This might/be sexist, but is the older one a boy or girl? I ask because it's more likely for a 12 year old boy to rape an 8 year old than if they are the other way around. Of course a 12 year old girl could still sexual assault the poor 8 year old. Either way it's not on.

I was in a situation like this, only no adults knew and just assumed we were friends. At the time I didn't think anything of it. As an adult I'm fully aware it is very wrong. The parents of both need to know what's going on and put an end to it.

I wonder what society is coming to when I hear this kind of thing.
A colleague of mine mentioned a boy buying her daughter flowers and proclaiming his love at the age of 10/11.

All I can say is, different people have different values and different ways of raising their children.

12 year old is a girl, 8 year old boy.

To the PP who asked why I need to speak to the school - the parents don't seem to have a problem with it so I can't really raise it with them. So it's either ring social services, speak to the school or say nothing.