I know I was and now I feel bad

[spottygrotty]

In the Disney store today with my DS who was spending some money from his 4th birthday. He picked up a snow white costume and was giggling saying that he wanted it but didn't want people to see him wearing it. I talked him round to choosing something else and now I feel bad. He hasn't mentioned it since so he's not worried but I just feel I was wrong and should have let him get the dress. What would you have done?

Same as You, I don't think princess dresses are for boys but I'd buckle up if I were You!

I probably wouldn't have bought it either.

I would of let him buy it, he's just a kid

We had a mix of things in the dressing up box. Also had a baby doll and pram. I will always remember eldest son being two and breastfeeding his baby doll while I fed his little brother . Besides, once they were 4/5, and at nursery and pre-K they had girl friends who came over as well as boy friends, it just made sense to have something for everyone to play with.

I would have told him it was fine to wear it if he wanted to and I would have bought it

i'd have suggested he try on some cheaper women's outfits to see if he wants to change his gender before he wastes my money on an expensive costume he will most likely put on, feel daft in, and forget about.

I think if a 4 year old wants to change gender they should go about it properly and not on a whim in the Disney Store.

If he wanted it but never wanted anyone to see him in it then he would never have worn it. Waste of money.

He has a pram and some dolls to play with. I just kind of felt that a Snow White dress was a bit far. I feel like I should have let him have it but it just felt a bit odd

Sounds like a waste of money becuase he isnt going to where it much. Not because its a dresw

I have a photo of my then 3 year old ds1 in sparkly tiara and fluffy mules. He did go through a phase of wanting to wear pretty dresses. I didn't make a thing of it. He's now 15 and the most boy boy you could get. There was no thought back then that he could possibly be a woman trapped in a mams body or any such nonsense. Now hed probably be going for gender realignment therapy or some such rubbish.

He obviously felt odd about it too from what he said. I wouldn't worry about it.

It's nothing to do with 'changing' gender KimmySchmidt.

However I probably would've let him buy a Snow White costume - somewhere cheaper!

Kimmy, who on earth said he wanted to change his gender?

He wanted to buy a dressing up dress.

Don't create issues where there are none.

I'd have brought it if he wanted it and asked why he didn't want anyone to see it.

It's an item of clothing, not a boob job.

I wouldn't buy my DD a princess outfit, so I can hardly criticise you for it buying your DS one! What kind of aspiration is it to be a princess?! So why role play it?

Sigh ...... come on MN how many of us would truly have bought the dress for 4 year old DS. Truthfully now? No need to worry about being flamed? I would have done exactly what you did op and would bet my house that most mums would also

Let kids be kids name. They spend probably 9yrs thinking princesses and make believe are wonderful then the reality kicks in for adulthood. Let them have those 9yrs.

I'd try and find a really cheap one on ebay and ask him if he wants it?

Which reminds me I've got several Disney princess dresses that I really need to give away as my daughter is now 15 I'm such a hoarder

They're not wonderful - I didn't grow up believing princesses were role models (they're not) and I have self esteem and aspiration as an adult woman. Certainly not going to encourage my DD to think of them as somehow desirable and fetishise them, like Disney and their ilk are desperate to do, just to sell more crap.

I was presuming Kimmy was being sardonic
It's interesting that he already feels that wearing a dress is something he wants to do but is ashamed of or is embarrassed by. That's some powerful conditioning going on. My DD5 often spouts stuff about " boys can't wear nail polish" etc which she doesn't hear at home. I probably wouldn't have bought the dress from there if expensive but would from a supermarket if he was still expressing an interest at a later date

I would have bought the dress, or I would have found an identical dress from somewhere cheaper cheapskate.

I think if a 4 year old wants to change gender they should go about it properly and not on a whim in the Disney Store.

I really hope this is sarcasm but if it's not odfod - wearing a dress doesn't suddenly make you the opposite gender.

I can remember my grandma making me a pink night dress with lace trim when I was maybe 7. It was floor length and I can remember wearing it for the first time and feeling wonderful. I think Disney are doing better with their female characters such as Moana and Brave but princesses are always going to be desirable if you're 4 or 5. I just double up the Wonder Woman content!

I talked my DD out of loads of things she wanted which I felt uncomfortable with...Barbies, Bratz. And tonnes of things she would play with for a minute and forget about like battery powered hamsters.He will be fine.If you feel guilty because you feel he should be free to express his love of disney princess let him raid your wardrobe for free.Mine love doing this.

I definitely don't think he wants to change gender. It's just the fact that he wanted something and I said 'No' because I didn't feel comfortable with it. He has 3 girl cousins and loves to wear their 'girly' costumes and have a giggle. I just felt a bit mean. He also likes me to paint his toes nails when I do mine but soon wants to take it off again once he's had them done!

Sometimes I think humour is sadly lacking from this board. It's so literal.