Is this a bit .. well .. rude.?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

Invited quite a few colleagues to my wedding (after a lot of umming and awwing about it as we are a small team).

Invited partners too.

Colleague told me the other day that her partner has been moaning to her about it asking if he really has to come and she has told him he has to as she had to go to some boring reception he was invited to

AIBU to think that if you are going to moan about it I am not the appropriate person to moan to?

YANBU. I'd tell her that if they don't want to come, they don't have to. If he's going to moan and not want to be there, he can stay at home!

Totally unreasonable for her to moan to you, if all people, but really, moaning to anyone in your office would be unfair; it puts others in an awkward position.

Mind-bogglingly rude!

I don't think I could help myself, I'd tell the rude cow colleague she's more than welcome to stay home.

ouch that's really rude and clumsy, YANBU!

Oh dear. Sounds like a case of not engaging brain before speaking

Very unreasonable of her.

I had similar last year work in a team of about 20. Everyone was all up for coming to evening reception with partners. Invites went out and a bunch couldnt make it ( fair enough ) Then another few didn't rsvp and when I chased up an answer I got oh sorry I forgot. Some said they were coming then didn't turn up on the night.

In the end not a single person from work came. Was very disappointed and angry for a long time about it

Jeez. Could she come on her own? Seems a shame to kindly host someone you know doesn't want to be there.

I know it's pissed me off a bit really - they are invited to the whole do!

My first wedding I invited a load of people from work (different) to the whole day and they had a whip round for a gift and between 10 of them and partners they gave about £100 present - between 20 people.

Obvs wasn't the reason I invited them but it was a bit stingy!

Tell her she's not invited to your third wedding then.

Lola

Tell her she's not invited to your third wedding then.

just say we are tight on numbers so she absolutely shouldn't feel like she needs to bring along someone who wouldn't enjoy themselves - you would much prefer to invite someone else.

Whatever happens there will def not be a third

She is either bloody stupid or a total bitch.

TBH how much would you expect for your wedding op I think 100 is ok off work colleagues invited to the night do. We got 50quid everyone put a couple of quid in the same when someone has a baby or leaves.

They were invited to the whole do.

Obvs wasn't the reason I invited them but it was a bit stingy

£100 between 10 is a fair amount (you can't really say between 20 realistically as the amount is from both. I wouldnt give a tenner to a colleague and then go home to dp and say "you have to give a tenner also").

....even if I had a dp

It was a long time ago and it really doesn't matter.

If I was invited with OH to a colleague's day do and evening do we would give as a couple and we normally give what we feel would cover the cost of us being there (as is common in Europe and people are much more transparent about).

Even so you don't have a wedding to expect gifts. They gave you a reasonable gift and you sounded smug. Do you expect gifts for your second wedding?

Yes that is incredibly rude. Either she is being spiteful or is an idiot.

Also are you close to your colleagues? Just colleagues are normally just that people I work with are not friends. Normally people tend to invite colleagues to evening do unless they are friends outside of work. I'm not suprised their dp isn't excited as he doesn't know you from adam but she shouldn't have repeated what was said.

I nearly didn't write that comment as I had a feeling it would derail the thread.

I don't know why people are so funny about wedding gifts.

Of course you don't get married for the gifts (thanks for pointing that out ) but most people want to give you a gift?

I wouldn't dream of going to a wedding and not giving a gift and I think most people in RL would agree.

I would have just said breezily 'oh thats perfect actually, we are a bit over numbers so thats two off the list. Thanks for letting me know!' and walk off.
Rude cow.

Namechange

Excellent