To be pissed off with flakey friend?

[Jellybeans90]

I've been friends with her since school but lost contact for a few years, as I went abroad to live and studying etc. We started to text again and arranged to go to the pub one night, which was lovely and really enjoyed it. She's a newly qualified teacher so she said we can meet again before she starts her job. So, I texted her a few times asking to meet and she was always 'busy setting up the classrooms' or 'at school'.

I only wanted to meet up for 1 evening, not all day. And told her this. This weekend, we arranged to go to the pub, then it came to Saturday so I text 'are we still going?' then she said 'I'm just taking a shower'..So, it gets to 6pm and hear nothing from her. So, I say 'are we still going?' and she says 'no, sorry got too much on for school'

I get that being a teacher is hard work, but AIBU to be pissed off at her flakey, unreliable behaviour?

I wasn't pushy?! As I've said I understand that she got a new job. I asked her as she said before that we should go out again

OP, do you not understand that keeping texting someone to meet up after they've already told you several times that they're too busy is the very definition of pushy?

There seems to be some kind of boundaries/social cue issue going on here.

I don't think you sounded pushy. You asked if she wanted to go out and she agreed 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wasn't like texting her constantly over the holidays or all day. I waited a few hours before saying 'are we still going?'

All I can think is that she's the sort of person who can't say No I don't want to meet up, I'm too busy/ don't want to so makes up excuses instead. Even going as far as arranging a meet up and then blowing you out.

I hope she's firmer with her new pupils and better at saying No.

I think most people, if they'd texted someone suggesting a meet up "a few times", to be told each time that the friend was too busy, would have taken the hint.

But the OP then carries on... "I only want to meet up for an evening, not the whole day".

I only text her a few times to meet as each time, she replied with 'next week would be better' or something along those lines. I don't think I was being pushy

You don't get it, do you :-/

She didn't want to meet up with you. She had an excuse every time you texted her. Whether she was genuinely busy or creating a polite fiction, you really should have taken the hint, and most people would have done. She shouldn't have agreed to meet you and then bailed out, no. But in the face of you texting her repeatedly asking to meet up after she'd already said no several times, I can't blame her for not knowing what else to do.

But I'm not being pushy, I don't think anyway. Don't worry I'm not texting her first anymore

I think in Saturday she was considering going out, hence the shower text, and then got busy with school stuff and decided to stay at home instead. So she didn't set out to be rude and she doesn't not want to be your friend, you just aren't a high priority right now.

Repeatedly texting someone asking to meet up after they've already expressed multiple times that they can't or don't want to is the very definition of being pushy. What about that do you not understand? Are you being deliberately obtuse, or do you really not understand the social cue you should have taken here?!

Just leave it and let her contact you.

Op just leave her now, I don't think she wants to meet up, move on and concentrate on other friends.

You're not pushy OP, at least I don't think so. It just really is incomprehensible to non-teachers how incredibly time consuming the preparations are.
To give you an example, once I couldn't find time to do washing up for two days in order to stay on top of school things. It's shocking. And quite often you don't realise how long jobs will take. I could assume something will take me an hour and still be there 3 hours later because the job is bigger than I expected it to be.

If it is in the US, this time of year is the busiest for teachers. New students, new school year. Don't know if that the case with her but I will give her another chance near when she is available and everything has settled down