Hair up - girl , hair down - boy ?

[thedinosaur]

A bit lighthearted as it doesn't really bother me just makes me a bit

My DS is 2 and has longer hair, (think suite life of Zack and Cody) it stops just as his tshirt collars start at the back.

Sometimes it's down and sometimes we put it up I suppose in a bit of a 'man bun' style. (Especially when he's running around to keep it out of his eyes)

These past few weeks I've noticed when we are out in public people refer to him as a boy if he has his hair down and as a girl if it's up. It happened about 3 times yesterday.
I don't really correct them as it's usually in passing e.g. Mum saying to her DS "watch out for that little girl" or yesterday he was playing football with a few older boys and some his age in the playground and chased on of the boys his age and the dad went "look at that little girl chasing after Jack".
I know it doesn't really matter that much but he was wearing jeans, trainers and a blue top with a dinosaur on it.
Yet people ONLY ever do it if his hair is up. When it's down he's always referred to as a boy.

AIBU to think that this is a little bit weird of an assumption to make based on a hair style?

Well what would you like people to say? Hello "person". All this gender stuff is starting to annoy me to be fair. Im a woman, I like to look and dress like one. I don't want to be called a boy and yes if your boy has long hair and a pretty face then he might be mistaken as a girl. No big deal.

I agree silver

If some one wants to be gender neutral that's fine with me. It is also just as fine if some one wants to be recognised as male or female.

Im a woman, I like to look and dress like one
What's that like then, silver?
Personally I like to look and dress like a comfortable person.

Silly question there cardi really. I like to look feminine, is that ok with you?

O god I am so bored with this gender fluid stuff, it just seems that people are desperately jumping on the bandwagon of being trendy!

Our parents (well those of me and my friends anyway) didn't force a specific gender on us either without feeling the need to label it and go on about how forward thinking they were.

And I don't know why it is a dirty thing to want to be recognised as masculine or feminine if you should so choose either

Im bored with it too. There are two genders, male and female with of course other's in-between. Im happy with that but don't tell me I need to morph into something else. I buy blue for boys and pink for girls when babies are born in my family. Take the thing back if you want to be gender fluid fashionable :)

The thing is, it's not always easy to tell from a glance at a child's face whether they are a boy or a girl.

Consequently people make a spilt second judgement based on current social norms.

So of course your DS can have any hairstyle he wants, just as another child can wear any type of clothes they want.

If a stranger wants to refer to your child (as in "watch out for that little boy" or "give that boy a turn") they have to guess and sometimes they'll get it wrong.

Saying "child" in place of boy or girl sounds rude or out of place to most people. It isn't common parlance.

People aren't being lazy or unkind or rude, they're mostly just doing their best.

You presumably don't want your DS judged by his clothes any more that by his hair? We can hardly pin a male or female badge on everyone.

Like I've said before to the posters who have accused me of being hypocritical - it doesn't really bother me. If you read my op again this was meant to be lighthearted.

I just found it amusing that he could wear anything yet if its hair up people think 'Girl' and hair down they think 'boy'.

And YY to the posters that mentioned people that ask you when he's getting his hair cut! They wouldn't ask that for a girl.
My DM went through a stage of "googling" and presenting me with all the health risks of DS having longer hair and still asks when he's getting it cut (so does my DDad) - but I think they're getting the point now.

Weirdly enough my GPs ask about it too but my Great GM who's nearly 90 loves DSs hair and thinks he looks lovely.

My mum luckily showed my DSs pictures of my long haired dad in the seventies. So now any time he mentions getting it cut, they tell him he's just jealous cause he's balding

It really isn't a weird assumption. Buns are normally seen on girls. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a boy having one though

My daughter had very thin short hair and wore a lot of her older brother's cast-offs. I took them to see Father Christmas when she was almost two, and he said "hello boys". She cried all the way home that she'd only get boys toys for Christmas