to expect my 8.5 DD to be able to do her hair?

[flownthecoopkiwi]

EVERY morning she can't find her brush and complains that, when I'm rushing to get everything else done, her tangles get pulled while I'm brushing furiously.

AIBU to expect her to be able to brush her hair and pull it back into a ponytail, which is what she wants her hair in most days anyway?

If she's never done it before then YABU. Have some practice sessions with her first.

I would point out that if she doesn't like the way you do her hair, she should do it herself, or stop complaining. Yes at 8.5 she should be able to brush her own hair - or perhaps cut it short?

Plait it at night. UABU by the way if it's long and prone to tangles.

God my dds wouldn't let me touch their bloody hair by 8 and did the most wierd and wonderful styles with numerous bunches and clips.

Let her practise op maybe get a new brush and some new cheap clips etc so she can perfect the art.

I feel your pain - school mornings can become so rushed. I imagine your daughter is able to do her own hair pretty well, unless it gets especially tangled, and it's good to encourage independence.

Having said that, I do my 9 year old's hair most school mornings just because it's one of those things that makes us feel close, and it won't be long before she really doesn't want me to do it. She has to do all the other stuff herself including making sure her bag is ready etc.

Maybe you could work out a check list with her that she goes through at bedtime (get uniform and bag ready, check where hairbrush is...) to save a bit of time in the morning?

Brush it yes, put it in a ponytail with no training sessions, no.

My dd is the same age and has really thick long hair and I wouldn't expect her to be able to put a bump free ponytail in.

My daughter has long hair. We plait it at nighttime, and I comb it and tie it back while she finishes her breakfast on school mornings. I know some people are very big on making kids do everything themselves as much as possible, but school mornings are rushed and I don't want her ripping at her poor scalp with a brush.

My DD was 12 years old and wouldn't do her own hair. To be fair it was incredibly long after refusing to have it cut ever and took around 40 minutes every morning to plait it and pin it up so really I was fed up of doing it rather than not actually wanting to do it.

I posted on here about it and got flamed because I would apparently be moaning in 6 months time when shes a teenager and she wont talk to me let alone let me do her hair for her. As it happens shes had her hair cut short and does it herself but she 16 now so I'd be concerned if she wasn't doing it despite it being very oddly styled and I'd rather do it for her .

8 is still fairly young really and it can be difficult to do long hair as an adult let alone as a child. Get her some spray to help with the knots and get a new brush for long hair.

Mine would have run a mile had I tried to brush their hair (usually the eldest did the middle one, she loved hearing the screams) so YANBU. Get a tangle teaser brush and let her get on with it. Practice makes perfect!

8 is quite young. It depends upon your DD and what her hair is like. My DD can't manage and she is 11 although some of her friends do fine.

Have you spent time to show her how to do it? Some kids don't really pay attention to stuff like that - my DD doesn't (admittedly she's only 5) but she's going to have to learn as she has enormous long thick hair already. I currently do it for her but if she continues to want it long she will need to learn to do it herself. (And stop rolling about on the carpet & getting it full of fluff & food etc.)

I still do my 10yo's. She does brush it but doesn't get right through and if left to her own devices for a few days ends up with a big knot underneath. (It's fairly think and very frizzy)
They're not kids for long and whilst I don't get out clothes or dress my 10, 7 and 5 yo dc I still do their hair every day. If it's part of the regular morning routine with the brushes kept in the same drawer every day then it's no big deal.

YANBU. Although I put DD's hairbrush on her bunk under her clothes, so when she's dressed it's the next thing she sees.

Oh and definitely plait it at night. Alternatively a loose ponytail with hair-friendly thin scrunchies (kinder to the hair than hairties). Use a scrunchie at the top of the pony & additional ones further down every 6 inches or so. These ones are pretty decent.

Yabu. Her hair will be full of tangles. I still get my dd dressed sometimes on school mornings

I do my 9yo's hair.

The deal is that she washes, conditions and brushes it, and I do any style that isn't a messy pony tail. She really tries to do neat pony tails, plaits etc, but just can't manage it quite yet, and I'm happy to plait etc her as long as she's brushed it well first.

I'd second plaiting it for bed, and for any days with PE - it makes a massive difference.

My 10 year old usually brushes her hair but I do it agin as it isn't done properly and tie it back. She can't even put a bobble in without it being all bumpy and messy. She does make hers and her sisters breakfast, gets her snack, fills water bottles etc. Can you delegate other jobs instead?

my dds are 12 and 9.
Until dd1 had hers cut short last year I still had to plait it for her.
It took me about 2 years to get to the stage where she could properly brush it. It was veyr long and thick, but no curls and not prone to tangle.

It was MUCH better if she had had it plaited overnight.

dd2 also has long hair, all last year I insisted she brush it herslef, then once it was done I took the brush and put it in a pony tail. She had never got all the tangles out and her own ponytail was rubbish, she couldn't get it up to the right level.
Over the summer she has had a lot cut off her hair - 3 inches. Still long, but less tangly. She can now brush it successfully, but is even less able to pony tail it.

(by the way, I would never ever use thin scrunchies as the only way of holding up dds hair, it would be down within and hour, hair is too heavy)

My dd is 8. She "starts off" brushing her hair and gets the worst tangles out. Then whichever adult is looking after her (me, ex or au pair) will finish off and put her hair up.

I couldn't until I was about 13 ... I'm still pretty shit with my hair at 22

My DDs are both capable of brushing their own hair at 8 and 5. DD1 can do very nice plaits for DD2. It often doesn't happen, though, and I end up putting 'bunny ears' (bunches) in their hair.

One thing I can recommend to you is Johnsons anti tangles spray. My DH bought it once when out shopping; I was very sceptical but it works brilliantly and has made mornings so much easier.

DD was useless at hair brushing until about 11 (she's 13 now). She had very fine hair and every morning looked as if she'd been dragged through a hedge and back again. It was a nightmare to brush, she just couldn't manage it and there'd be real tears of pain. It was only a bit longer than her collar so not long at all.
Ended up buying a hairbrush which cost £30 and some detangling spray and finally after much effort she was able to loosen the matted clumps each morning.

My seven year old brushes and puts her long hair in a pony, but it's pretty thin. My eldest daughter couldn't at that age as her hairs super thick and curly. It depends on their hair type.

My 10 year old washes, conditions and brushes her own hair but can't do a tidy pony tail yet. It's very thick though and she has small hands so can't quite keep hold of it all to put it up

Has she got long hair? Curly hair? Thick hair? I've always had waist length hair that's very thick and couldn't put it in a decent ponytail myself until I was 13/14. It really does depend on hair type and confidence tbh. Sit down with her and teach her how to do it. She won't magically know how to.