to expect my 8.5 DD to be able to do her hair?

[flownthecoopkiwi]

EVERY morning she can't find her brush and complains that, when I'm rushing to get everything else done, her tangles get pulled while I'm brushing furiously.

AIBU to expect her to be able to brush her hair and pull it back into a ponytail, which is what she wants her hair in most days anyway?

agree it all depends on the hair.

My 10yo can't do her own hair properly. She has the thickest hair I've ever seen, and likes to keep it long. I regularly make wistful comments about when she had it bobbed, and she could manage it herself, but she prefers it long at the moment. She does know that I will brook no complaints though, as being detangled is the price to pay for longer hair.

My 6yo has fine hair like me, and can do her own already.

My DD started to do her own hair about a year ago when she was 9. I only do it now if she has a specific style in mind that she can't manage (French plait etc) or if it needs to be overly neat for a ballet exam.
She just needed to practice really but it was a bit of a (sometimes painful) process.

I think that the mornings are just a nightmare, and that she doesn't really take enough responsibility for getting herself ready. I'm at the point of letting her go to school with unbrushed hair just to teach her the lesson that she can't expect me to get everything done in the morning for her!!!

The mornings are like a well oiled machine in this house. I get up and get ready. Get everyone's uniforms and shoes. Get DD's hairbrush. Wake DD up. Leave her to get ready on her bunk. Make breakfast. Wake DS2 up. Help him get ready. So yes, your DD should be getting herself ready. I always use the natural consequence, "if you're not ready, you go out like that."

I still do my 12 yo daughters hair. She's rubbish at it! She had it cut from being really long to by her shoulders so now putting it in a pony tail is harder as some bits aren't long enough.

I wasn't suggesting thin scrunchies for daytime use - night-time only. However thinner scrunchies make a smaller lumpy bit to sleep on. They don't stay "up" in my DD's hair either, but it doesn't really matter if she's asleep. The non slip ones I linied above are quite good for night time use. They aren't pretty so I wouldn't use them for the daytime anyway!

*linked

This is an interesting discussion. My DD1 is nine and insists on having very long hair. However, I have told her if she won't take responsibility for brushing it I am going to get it cut shorter - not short but shorter. I have shown her several times how to brush it, but she is just pathetic and ends up brushing all the tangles down to the bottom and not brushing the back at all. She would never even attempt to tie it back herself. Am I a meanie to cut it if this continues?

I have 3 dds. My eldest can't do her hair well at all at 9.5. Dd3 has a bob as she can't be bothered with hair and fuss yet her twin sister (6yo) does her own hair better than I can! She's very natural. I think I'll be doing dd1's hair when she's 20!