To think that the school cannot enforce this uniform rule?

[ReanimatedSGB]

DS started back at school on Friday and has come home with an annoying student handbook full of various pissy instructions and threats of hour-long detentions.
One thing I noticed was that 'boys' hair must be no longer than collar length. DS has long hair. While I completely understand a regulation that long hair must be tied back for school, isn't it actually illegal for them to insist that boys can't have long hair? IE sex discrimination?

your comment is hilarious but also frighteningly true

It really isn't frighteningly true...

There's no underlying logic to many of the rules. My dd has hms and 'school' shoes were harming her knees and hips she'd been told by consultant AND physio to wear trainers and we found all black trainers AND I called the school spoke to the head and her guidance teacher and sent her in with a letter.

But oh no! Several teachers through the day told her off for wearing the 'wrong' shoes. She even got a detention. I called the school and made it quite clear how I felt on the matter and if it happened again I'd be taking action based on equality laws.

Boys should be allowed to have long hair (tied back). And they all be able to wear trousers or skirts as they please.

How about just conforming with the rules of the school. When he starts work, he'll have to dress appropriately for example if he were to become a pilot, I know for sure it is forbidden to have long hair.
Why not teach him that sometimes you can't always have your own way.

Maybe he will choose not to be a pilot because he wants to keep long hair

You might want to see if the school is a state school or an Academy. As an Academy it is a private business which owns the land and the buildings and can set it's own rules..just as any other private business might insist on certain criteria of behaviour or dress code. If the school has changed..and you no longer feel it's the right place for your child...you are completely within your rights to find another school and transfer him. Schools and families need to work together for the best interests of both parties..it seems like both of you are coming in from different approaches to learning. IIWM, I'd make the change quick to give him chance to settle somewhere that matches your family needs better. I'm a pragmatist...if you dont like something...move on. With a positive outlook from you he will thrive in a new setting you are both happy with. Why waste your time and energy battling in a school you dont even like, now? Seems fairer to move on to your son and for your peace of mind.

There was a court case a while ago (I can't find it at the moment) and it was decided that school may restrict the length of hair provided that a particular length is specified in the official uniform policy (they can't just say "no extreme haircuts").

A boy at my school successfully argued that as long as he kept it neat and tied back, he had the right to long hair. That was over twenty years ago! In an all boys school they can state this (dd friend from primary now has short hair). In a mixed school they can make a suggestion but any enforcement would be sex discrimination. I would ensure that your ds has clean, tidy hair and go in quietly if any action is taken. I think schools react better to quiet rational argument than an angry parent blazing in about sex discrimination. Obviously boys are allowed long hair (Sikhs for example) and as you can't discriminate on religious grounds either your ds actually has the same right as they do in a weird convoluted way!

Fabulousdahlink I am actually more of your way of thinking, however the people that have opened paths for the rest of us are the ones who do not just try to fit around things, but make a stand.

I guess the school just want their pupils to look smart - i'm not sure how I feel about it. As a parent i've always expected my children to go by the rules as it shows a respect for those that are setting them. I always let my boys grow their hair in the holidays and then get it cut to go back to school.
I suppose that I look at it that when they get a job they will probably have to look a certain way. Not in every job but some.

Btw...I'd probably trust a Consultant more if he had long hair and a tattoo. Generalization, but I've noticed that the more intelligent the Scientist, the more likely they are to wear jeans and trainers to work. I've also worked in a large company where I noted that on days without meeting the public, the more senior the staff the more informal the outfit. Only the secretaries wore suits. I'm convinced that not wearing a suit to work actually improved my progression within the Company!

DILF So you would tell your child to obey any rule, no matter how ridiculous? Everybody has to dress 'appropriately' for work although, as I said earlier, most work dress codes have become more and more relaxed at the same time that uniform rules have become increasingly petty.
How many people get sent home from work because their skirt is 2mm too short or their hair is an inch too long?
I work in a job where we have to make clinical decisions that could have an ultimately life or death impact on our patients.
In my office today, there was a man with long hair, a woman (Consultant Psychiatrist) with facial piercings and the majority of us were wearing jeans.
There are very very few jobs where it is a uniform rule that men can't have long hair.
If your child's school introduced a rule that everyone has to shave all their hair off, would you tell them to comply?
If not, why not? How is that different to saying that boys can't have long hair?
Have you heard of the saying,'We were only obeying orders?'

My seven year old ds came home upset a couple of years ago because the head teacher had decided to put his hair in a pony tail in front of the whole school.
His hair was about collar to shoulder length, curly and layered so didn't stay in a ponytail so she decided he should have hair grips in it too.

A letter came home two days later, after I had complained, saying that all long hair needed to be tied back regardless of gender. However, girls with collar-shoulder length hair were considered to have short hair and are not expected to tie it up. In my opinion if it is too short to stay in a pony tail it is too short to be tied up and looks more untidy than if it was left alone.
I recently found out, after the head had left, that several teachers had complained about her doing it to my son as they had felt it was bullying behaviour.

Partway through I started to just scroll and stop reading. I think it is a load of nonsense! I know plenty of grown up men with long hair. Plenty of THOSE are professionals with rather large salaries too!

They ofc keep themselves clean/tidy/groomed. Just as any woman in the same sorts of roles would too!

They real key is messy/unkempt, which, imo, would go for both genders again! Short girls hair? Sure, keep it tidy/clean/groomed. Long boys hair? Tied back, same as long girls hair. Again, tidy, clean, groomed.

Shorts? Trousers? Can be worn by all. Ok, so skirts are girls only... I see no real reason for this myself, if a boy really wants to wear a skirt, so long as it meets the usual requirements (clean/tidy/correct length) then imo, should be fine.

Oh, read up a little, pilots have to have short hair? oO. I do hope the rule is for women too then.

well huh:

I can say that in the company I work in (financial services, city) no men have long hair, visible tattoos or piercings

This is odd, because me too! City, financial institute. One of my work colleagues, customer facing, has long hair (longer than every female there). He keeps it (surprise surprise) clean/tidy/groomed/tied up.

Wtf are you all going on about! When the snowflakes hit the workforce in a few years' time there will be all sorts of petty rules they don't agree with but guess what? They can akways look for another job and you can always look for another school if you feel that strongly about it. Personally i'd rather my kids understood that there are battles worth fighting and battles so trivial they're not worth the name. Schools are for kids to get an education, not for parents to show everyone how good they are at making a mountain out of a molehill and getting down to the kids' level - that's if they ever rose above it.

Smudge You could equally say that schools are about kids getting an education, not having teachers waste countless hours policing uniform rules. The majority of countries in the world manage perfectly fine without any kind of uniform, let alone one that polices hair length. I've always been of the opinion that school uniform is a good thing for practicality and for preventing fashion competitions but I'm rapidly changing my mind.
I can't think of any company/business that would make their staff sit in black buttoned up jackets when it's 30 degrees. That's just madness.

Smudge100, if you seriously think that, all over the country, it is easy for children just to swap schools at the drop of a hat, you know nothing about the education system.

My DS went to the barber for a short back and sides, new stylist cut it a little shorter than usual (shortest part was a no.1), but looked smart and tidy (no razor lines or patterns). When he went to school the next day he was put into isolation as it was considered too short. What made me cross was that the lad he was sat next to was in isolation for being in possession of cannabis! I was !

Which is more important to you? That you get your own way over a trivial matter like haircuts, or that your son gets a decent education? Many of the posters on here seem very sure of their rights - I wish I thought that they were as punctilious about their duties. As a parent I swallowed my feelings about a lot that went on in my children's schools, but fought the issues that really mattered - and it was never over stupid issues like shoes, haircuts or skirts/trousers. But when it looked as if my daughters would not be allowed to take GCSE music because of "lack of demand" [they had seventeen opt for it] I made such a fuss that they gave in within seventy-two hours. It did help that the deputy head's GCSE Latin course was going to run with only nine candidates - but the point remains - pick your battles. If you want to be known for the next seven years as the silly cow who chained herself to the school railings over the issue of her son's haircut, then feel free.

@rightnowimpissed I guess I better tell my male banker friends with long hair they need to quit their management jobs or cut their hair! Ditto my male friends who are consultants and qualified professionals in various fields (who also are employed!) And while we are at it, I'll throw out my trousers and wear more skirts.

If you're a troll then nice try. If you're serious then I pity what it must be like in your head.

@Smudge100, so you can freely and easily “look for another school”. Good for you. You evidently live in a beautiful area of the UK where there is an abundance of schools, and you are free to choose the one you prefer, because they are not oversubscribed, so it’s not only those families that can afford to live close enough that have decent chances of getting their children in. May I ask what this beautiful area is? We should all move there because, last I checked, most of the country is very, very different!

As others have pointed out, workplace dress codes are way, way more relaxed. Some workplaces may require you to wear a specific uniform, or clothes with the company logo, or heels (questionable)/suit and tie/etc, but I have never heard of an employer checking his employees were wearing the right shade of grey – which is something headmasters do!

Yes, dress codes may reflect stereotypes and prejudices, and there certainly are people who believe in these prejudices and behave accordingly. The right question is not whether that is true, but whether a school should enforce or challenge these prejudices! I know many firms where the only black women are receptionists, with a very precise dress code. Shall we tell black girls they have to dress like that because being a receptionist is all they can aspire to? Many men might treat an attractive female colleague better than a non-attractive one. Shall we teach our daughters to dress and behave provocatively to advance in the workplace?

I will try to teach my child that life is full of rules and aspects which may be unfair, stupid, pointless, etc. but that any decision on whether to choose given school, job, or whatever should be made taking into account the whole picture. A school or a job with a dress code I don’t fully agree with may still be a very good school/job. @Geordie1944, in other words, I agree with you about the need to pick your battles. But particularly capricious rules, and a lot of energy spent on enforcing the right shade of grey or whatever, would be a big red flag for me, a big sign that the headmaster is potentially a repressed control freak who doesn’t have the right priorities about running the school. I will most certainly not teach my child that every rule has to be accepted passively and acritically! This country is so liberal in some respects and so backwards in others…
To make a comparison with the workplace, I wouldn’t have a problem accepting a job that requires me to wear suit and tie, if the job is a good fit. But an employer that forces me to wear only ties of a given shade of blue bought from a given shop only, and regularly checks whether I am wearing the right tie, would send me running! Not because I cannot wear that tie, but because this attitude is a big sign that something is off.

If rules had never been challenged because “schools are there to give an education” then, guess what, we would still have corporal punishment in our schools – which in some schools (some private schools in NI, if I remember correctly) was only abolished around 2003, which is not that long ago.

I am not against uniforms – I am against petty, capricious rules and their anal enforcement. Imposing grey or black trousers is fine. Wasting time to check whether pupils are wearing the correct shade of grey is ridiculous. Forbidding pupils from sewing the school logo on, because clothes must be bought from the school shop, is ridiculous. Forcing children to sweat in clothes which are utterly inadequate for a heatwave, however short the heatwave may be, is ridiculous.

I'd sew his collar to the tail of his shirt - problem solved! I've recently retired from education and agree with OP all the petty nonsense about ties, blazers and rebranding of schools makes me vomit. I always felt that more important was that students were, or were encouraged by example to be kind and polite and to work hard to the best of their ability. I do agree with a basic uniform that can be purchased at reasonable prices from high street stores. The school I worked at insisted on ridiculously expensive kilts for the girls and blazers for boys and girls, which could only be purchased from an expensive school shop. Come on mums tell them to stuff it!

We had this at school. My mum said it was so the HT knew who was a boy and who was a girl so he could enforce the trousers/skirts policy. So long as your hair and clothes matched you'd be okay.

I wanted to be sure DS was going to a school that wasn't run along these fuckwitted, militarized lines: I think too many rules (particularly an obsession with uniform rules) makes for a toxic atmosphere and wastes the kids' and the teachers' time.

Ditto. My girls go to a high school that when we first chose it was relaxed about things like hair (colour) and this kind of individuality is important to us. After the eldest started there they decided to clamp down on uniform and pulled her up for her tinted red hair. Because the semi-permanent colour in her hair will clearly make her misbehave, not learn and generally bring down the civilised world.

These kind of petty rules drive me nuts. Coloured hair, tattoos and piercings are no longer frowned upon in 'society' and don't stop you getting a job or being professional.

I've been reading the European Convention of The Rights of The Child, and it mentions freedom of expression and bodily autonomy/integrity. Restricting what children are allowed to do regarding hair style, length and colour, and piercings is a potential breach of this. Someone needs to explain this to these Dolores Umbridges, and drag them into the 21st century.

Just a thought but it might just be that the school is trying to ensure that pupils all respect and have confidence in themselves so that they can achieve the best in life. High expectations ....perhaps spend your time supporting your children and their school to get the best out of themselves rather than questioning everything. Really most teachers and schools are trying to do the best for your children.