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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to know if my neighbour has had her baby? UPDATED *Edited by MNHQ*

55 replies

MsJuniper · 09/09/2017 17:38

Ok I know it is both unreasonable and nosy, but DH & I really want to know!

We're not super friendly but enough to have a chat now and again and we have a card and gift ready.

Reasons for:
She was due around now
Her parents are here (we've seen them in the house & car is parked outside)
We haven't seen her, her husband or little girl for days when we usually see them morning & evening
The upstairs curtains are drawn
There is a small hospital wrist tag on their window ledge

Reasons against:
I haven't seen a baby
I haven't heard a baby

Possible conclusions:
She has had the baby and is home but keeping to her room and the baby is quiet (they are a quiet family)
She has had the baby but is still in hospital and her parents are staying with the little girl
She hasn't had the baby and her parents are visiting in advance and we are over invested nosey parkers

Obviously we very much hope that nothing bad has happened and that our well-meaning neighbourly speculation will conclude with us being able to present said card & gift and have a newborn squidge. But I am not unaware or unconcerned about that possibility, so I hope no-one finds this post insensitive.

(Btw our houses are very close and we can see into their kitchen each time we go in or out; we are not pressing our noses to the window or anything.)

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 09/09/2017 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 09/09/2017 17:41

Bloody hell

You really need to get out more, don't you? Grin Grin

Just enjoy not being woken up in the night, while it lasts.

lololove · 09/09/2017 17:41

I don't want to say it but she could have had the baby and something have happened/be wrong so I'd hang back just yet.

peachandplum · 09/09/2017 17:41

Please mind your business. Anything could have happened. Pregnancy and deliveries don't always result in live births.

Wind your neck in, you'll find out soon enkigh.

peachandplum · 09/09/2017 17:41

soon enough *

ijustwannadance · 09/09/2017 17:42

Do nothing until you have seen them with baby.
If you see the parents popping in or out could you ask them instead?

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 09/09/2017 17:44

We heard when our next door neighbour had had their baby!

lostfrequencies · 09/09/2017 17:45

Also please don't turn up expecting a "newborn squidge" when you know she's home. I have lovely, well meaning neighbours but it wasn't great when one by one they came round in the first few days of us being home, wanting to see the baby. A card through the letter box is well received, but people turning up at the front door isn't always.

Papafran · 09/09/2017 17:46

There is a small hospital wrist tag on their window ledge

Um, sorry but 'duh. Who else do you think the tag belongs to? Agree that you need to get out more.

PinkHeart5913 · 09/09/2017 17:46

I do think your being unreasonable but at least you know that! who knows what's going on and it's there business really isn't it.

You only know them well enough for a chat now and then so just hold on to the gift for if you see them around and stop thinking about it.

NYConcreteJungle · 09/09/2017 17:46

It's pleasant excitement, I guess. Not really your business. You could make wagers with your family as to when you will first see the baby?

DeadGood · 09/09/2017 17:46

Newborns don't cry that much, and when they do, the mothers are encouraged to stop it immediately with a boob or bottle.

Sounds like the baby is here, but yes, give them space Smile

Pennywhistle · 09/09/2017 17:47

You'll know soon enough when the windowsill suddenly fills with cards.

We completely confused the neighbours that didn't know us very well as we had windowsills full of pink and blue cards.

They got all Shock and squeally when I appeared with two babies. Grin

LadyInDread · 09/09/2017 17:47

Wait till you've seen them out and about and that all is well then hand over gift etc. Plenty of time to see baby.

PinkHeart5913 · 09/09/2017 17:48

There is a small hospital wrist tag on their window ledge Right ok, I know you say Btw our houses are very close and we can see into their kitchen each time we go in or out; we are not pressing our noses to the window or anything but to see & identity the item on the window ledge you must be pretty sodding close, like built a few inches apart.

RedBlu · 09/09/2017 17:50

Our neighbours (semi detached) didn't know I was even pregnant and didn't realise we had a baby until I answered the door holding the baby when they came to collect a parcel.

I have to admit, I would find your level of interest a bit odd if you aren't really friends with them.

Original poster
MsJuniper · 09/09/2017 17:54

Don't worry we have no intention of popping round or otherwise investigating until we have seen the family happily back home, nor do we have any expectations of actual baby-squidging - just some well-meant speculation on some people of whom we are mildly fond.

As I said I am well aware there could be a much worse option but we are of course very hopeful this is not the case.

I was very touched when I had DS and the neighbours came round a couple of weeks after - it was nice to know they took an interest and were pleased for us.

OP posts:
Submariner · 09/09/2017 17:59

I had a lovely (not direct) neighbour who followed my second pregnancy with great interest.

When my DS had been born I spotted her walking past and proudly showed her DS, said his name etc.

She looked at him and said 'Oh well, at least you've had him.' No congratulations or he looks lovely. ShockGrin Most honest new baby critique ever.

Original poster
MsJuniper · 09/09/2017 18:00

There is that thing on MN where if you post something it's assumed that's all you think about. It was just some idle afternoon speculation while sitting at home.

When we first realised she was pg I was going through a mc so I found it quite hard to see her each day, but we've chatted to them more recently and we are just happy for them and hopeful of seeing them soon.

They are terraced houses and our front door is right next to their kitchen window with no hedge or fence in between, so yes very close indeed.

OP posts:
Ribrabrob · 09/09/2017 18:00

Haha oh gosh you do seem a bit over invested in this family! But it's kind of sweet, I guess, if a bit odd.

Anyway just wait and see.

Original poster
MsJuniper · 09/09/2017 18:04

I was kind of poking fun at DH and me for our interest by putting it in the list format but I guess that doesn't always come across on MN. We've had a couple of conversations about it, that's all. They are nice people. We wish them well.

OP posts:
MistyMinge · 09/09/2017 18:07

Sounds like she's probably had it. All they do is sleep and feed to begin with so very possible the baby is home and you've not heard it.

I think it's nice that you care. So many people couldn't give a shit about the people around them.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 09/09/2017 18:09

I'm sure you'll find out soon.

MiddlingMum · 09/09/2017 18:11

Many years ago DH and I were living next door to a couple who were expecting a baby. We didn't really know them, but wished them well. Several weeks past the due date we hadn't heard or seen anything and were worried. It turned out they were were worried that their baby was disturbing us, whereas we were desperate to hear a few cries and wails to know that all was well.

I'm sure you'll hear something very soon MsJ

MimiSunshine · 09/09/2017 18:13

I think it's sweet that you're interested. When I had our baby we found out afterwards that a few of our neighbours had been on bump watch and thought we'd had her the week before when I had gone in for observation. I didn't even know any of the neighbours had spotted us as our houses are quite far apart and the living rooms are at the back so no casual curtain twitching really possible but it was nice that they were interested

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