to want to know if my neighbour has had her baby? UPDATED *Edited by MNHQ*

[MsJuniper]

Ok I know it is both unreasonable and nosy, but DH & I really want to know!

We're not super friendly but enough to have a chat now and again and we have a card and gift ready.

Reasons for:
She was due around now
Her parents are here (we've seen them in the house & car is parked outside)
We haven't seen her, her husband or little girl for days when we usually see them morning & evening
The upstairs curtains are drawn
There is a small hospital wrist tag on their window ledge

Reasons against:
I haven't seen a baby
I haven't heard a baby

Possible conclusions:
She has had the baby and is home but keeping to her room and the baby is quiet (they are a quiet family)
She has had the baby but is still in hospital and her parents are staying with the little girl
She hasn't had the baby and her parents are visiting in advance and we are over invested nosey parkers

Obviously we very much hope that nothing bad has happened and that our well-meaning neighbourly speculation will conclude with us being able to present said card & gift and have a newborn squidge. But I am not unaware or unconcerned about that possibility, so I hope no-one finds this post insensitive.

(Btw our houses are very close and we can see into their kitchen each time we go in or out; we are not pressing our noses to the window or anything.)

The likelihood is that she has had the baby from what you describe. However, that doesn't mean the baby isn't still in hospital (maybe she also is) or that it was a live birth. Since you are so close to each other's houses I am sure you see evidence of a baby before long if all is ok.

That's nice to hear that some of you were also interested or had others interested in your new arrival. I remember thinking DS must be keeping our neighbours awake in our old house but they claimed never to have heard a thing.

We've never heard a peep out of our current neighbours so we've always figured either the walls are pretty thick or they are just really quiet - but with a three year old it must be the former surely?!

I think it's nice (and quite normal) to be interested.

You'll just need to casually catch a member of the family.

I didn't think any neighbours were paying much attention until I came back - alone - from a hospital appointment and sort of tumbled out of the car. Three different households hovered suddenly. All watching the car return 'just in case' apparently. I was confused and flattered by turns. Hopefully it's a fairly normal quiet and tired return home.

My Son had a boy in his class at his old school who he had been friends with through nursery and into primary. Mum was pregnant with her 5th . I knew she was heavily pregnant and due anyday . I didn't see her for a couple of weeks only Dad so my DS went to their DS' party and I wondered where the baby was . So I asked one of the parents before I went over to congratulate them ... turns out the baby was born stillborn at 40 weeks . Imagine how guilty I would've felt it I had have asked ... sometimes it's best if you say nothing at all .

I hope you find out some lovely news soon.

When I came home with our 6 hours old son I hadn't even got through the front door before a neighbour, who I only really knew to say hello to in passing, was coming up our drive. She actually came in the house with us!

My neighbours had met my newborns before any of my family had.

I think it's unusual not to know. Unless houses are very big and far apart.

Sigh I have no idea what our neighbours thought or still think. Not close to any of them but they saw me growing larger every day for 9 months. And then suddenly obviously a lot smaller but no baby since we had a stillbirth during labour. Thankfully no one asked us anything. I know you have no intention of prying OP so not aimed at you - just reminds me that they probably wondered about us for a bit.

How awful numbmum, it has definitely crossed our minds and one reason we'd never just ask unless we knew all was well. A friend is in hospital now with her newborn waiting for him to have an op. Plenty of horrible things in the world; let's hope this isn't one of them and we will soon see some signs all is well.

Any baby clothing on the washing line? An increase of visitors?

Our elderly neighbours were v sweet when dd3 was born. They heard her crying (it was a terrace) and when we were on the way out with her in the car seat they stampeded out of the house to see her. Mind you the neighbour on the other ride had a girlfriend who stuck her head over the wall, admired dd3 (naturally) and then said 'did you mean to have her?' Rude!

So sorry for your loss Bisquick. That must have been devastating.

Thanks MsJuniper.. not meaning to derail the thread though - hope your neighbours are just managing to keep the newborn quite quiet!

Our neighbour's were lovely when I had DS1, we had cards and a couple of gifts, including a child's china cup which is adorable ❤️ A couple of them now knit for both of our boys bless them, they're both elderly and single and say it keeps them occupied in the evenings, win win! Hope your neighbour and thre new baby are both ok

YANBU to be curious
YANBU to be impatient
YANBU to know that you have to wait and see
YANBU that you can see our neighbours window cill when you live in a terraced house
YANBU to start a sweet AIBU thread about something that isn't that important and isn't something that you are obsessed/outraged/etc with

That's a score of 5/5 on the NOT being unreasonable ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Our neighbor stalked our Facebook pages when dc2 was due because they were so keen to know (at least they were honest about it!) Apparently every time my car left the driveway at an unusual time there was a debate about it in their house. It was sweet, if a little over invested of them!

Definitely wait until you see or hear that the baby is definitely here and both it and mum are ok though, just in case.

We had a similar situation and it turned out baby had been rushed to GOSH where she stayed for nearly four months. We didn't know them that well, so didn't feel we could ask what happened when we saw mum appear with no baby.

Said baby is now a very boisterous 3 year old who likes making her presence know!

I had my twins five weeks early - didn't see my neighbours for two months as one was in that long and we were always there. Eventually they must have seen me looking deflated and tired as they popped a card through the letterbox

Actually no, what am I on about? They did see us once, but with only one baby (since the other one was in) but they didn't ask any questions.

I didn't think any of my neighbours bar next door even realised I was with child. I was 6 months gone by the time we moved in. As it happens NDN was the street gossip and told absolutely everyone!

We got cards from every single house in the street (small cup-de-sac of about 16 houses) when DS was born, even though we'd never spoken to some of them, it was really lovely!

We moved round the corner recently and one of the neighbours took a package in that was delivered to our old house, she came round to our new house with it...we didn't even know she knew where we had moved too! NDN strikes again 😂

My neighbour (we share a main door) poked her head out of her actual front door when we got home, she just had a quick peak and asked sex / was all ok and passed on her congratulations. Woke up next morning to a gift bag of fresh pastries and some lovely coffee and posh tea bags. My neighbour is ace.

As above, baby may have died or be in NNU.
Please just wait to hear from them rather than putting your foot in it, given you clearly don't know the very well. Xxx

My neighbour's didn't even hear me give birth to DS2 & we're in a terrace.

I did get asked a week after having him when I was due though.

Don't say or do anything until you've seen and spoken to them and they offer the info.

We once had new neighbours move in, a young family and the mum was heavily pregnant. Unfortunately she did go into labour and went to the hospital but came home without the baby, it was really tragic. Never ask wait until they choose to say something!