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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not care that people can see into my house?

73 replies

PuffinNose · 09/09/2017 09:50

Right, first off, before anyone accusses me of stealth boasting to my neighbours, my house is distincly average so I am absolutely not showing off or wanting people to see how lovely everything is. It's very obvious we don't have anything worth nicking and we live in a "nice" area with a low crime rate for burgulries etc and security is reasonably good eg no easy access to back gardens etc.
That being said...
My house is on a relatively quiet street (although it's on a main route for the school run) and has a small front concrete yard. Currently without a wall. 😶 It has a huge bay window which allows passer bys to see into my living/dining room and in the right light, into my kitchen and back yard. It's quite a wide street so the house opposite can't see in.
I have curtains but no nets or blinds etc. I don't like them, the cat will destroy them and they block all the light.
I don't have nets/blinds on any of windows.
People do look in, whether consciously or not. I don't actually care.
Husbands family are horrified by this, to the degree that they keep offering to buy us nets. His gran is of the opinion that everything in the house is a womans work and thinks I'm not looking after my family by not having nets!
Husband doesn't care although if forced to chose would probably prefer them (but then wouldn't wash them etc).
Obviously gran is rediculous but am I, for not caring?

OP posts:

Smeaton · 09/09/2017 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alltouchedout · 09/09/2017 09:53

Yanbu. If you're fine with people seeing in, there's no problem.

Notreallyarsed · 09/09/2017 09:53

I think the gran's logic is and if you and your DH don't mind it's none of anyone else's business. We have white Venetian blinds throughout the house because we live on a very busy road and also have a neighbour who is a nosy fecker who likes to watch what all the other neighbours are doing. She once told me that she'd noticed I mopped the floors at the same time every day. Well yes love, it's when the wee ones are at nursery so I've got the time to do it bought the blinds the next day

happypoobum · 09/09/2017 09:57

Bloody hell! I am in my fifties and think nets are really old fashioned, no way would I have them.

I do have blinds on the bathroom windows as well as textured glass, as people could see in if lights were on. Other than that, just curtains at the front, Nothing at the back downstairs despite having huge windows.

I don't walk around my kitchen or lounge naked so it's not a problem.

Maybe that's what you should tell DH gran?

Crumbs1 · 09/09/2017 10:01

Yes also in fifties and see nets as rather old fashioned and a bit common. We have nothing at windows apart from curtains that generally remain open downstairs. Anyone can see in - but we live rurally and have a drive so not many passers by. That said neighbours and friends walk in without knocking anyway. In my mind, privacy is overrated.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 09/09/2017 10:04

I couldn't cope with that personally; I have my curtains closed all the time (nothing to do with people looking in though).

If I go past a house with open curtains, I will always have a nosy. I'm of the opinion that if they don't want people to look in, they should do something about it

OfficiallyUnofficial · 09/09/2017 10:07

What you are like my ex in-laws they all have their curtains closed, I honestly don't know how you live like it.

YANBU Op living in the dim is depressing! I hate nets/blinds during the day.

inchyrablue · 09/09/2017 10:09

I put nets up once in our shower room. Actually they were linen and very nice. I wouldn't have bothered (hate them, they are fussy) except one day when DH was in the shower, and I was outside, I noticed that the opaque shower room window became completely translucent when steamy. It was street facing, and our front garden was only about 6 feet deep. We were also on the school run route. One of our neighbours helpfully commented afterwards that she had always assumed me knew.

Bluntness100 · 09/09/2017 10:10

I'd put some voile up, or blinds, not nets, personally I couldn't live feeling like I was in a gold fish bowl, but if it doesn't bother you and you don't need privacy then don't put them up.

HanutaQueen · 09/09/2017 10:12

I'm the same! I hate nets and leave the curtains open always. Also suffer from terrible SAD so leave my room curtains open too so I can wake up to the light. Boyfriend hates this.

TheStoic · 09/09/2017 10:12

Oh I would HATE people being able to see in my house! I like privacy, and lots of it.

But if you don't care, you don't care.

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad · 09/09/2017 10:12

I've never had nets - they look horrible and get grubby quickly. My last house also had a large bay window, and the sofa was opposite - if/when I saw people looking in, I used to give them a cheery wave - they usually went and rushed off...

Whiterabbitears · 09/09/2017 10:16

I always think windows look bare without blinds or nets. The problem with blinds is they can clank if there is a breeze and you have a window open. We have nets, but agree they're not particularly smart or stylish.

RiversrunWoodville · 09/09/2017 10:19

We are a farm so not an issue but before I married DH and rented in a small town I hated blinds or nets and only closed curtains at night. Was on the bones of my arse anyway thanks to ex so a burglar would probably have left something rather than nicked it . Plus I liked watching the world go by

mirime · 09/09/2017 10:21

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017

If I go past a house with open curtains, I will always have a nosy.

I used to live in an area where most houses had no front gardens. People did not look in through windows.

OP you are not being unreasonable, especially if you have cats. We had to cut one of ours free after he got tangled up in the vertical blinds, they shred nets, and are destroying the Venetian blinds.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 09/09/2017 10:23

What you are like my ex in-laws they all have their curtains closed, I honestly don't know how you live like it.

I suffer from migraines and I find natural light far too bright; I don't want to have to contend with it while in my own house.

I used to live in an area where most houses had no front gardens. People did not look in through windows.

Okay? If I walked past it I would have a nosy

DaisyStarburst · 09/09/2017 10:26

I hate nets but after a few years of people staring in gave in and bought some. I still don't like them and they do have to be washed but I like my privacy. Also haven't had door to door sales people banging on the window since I've had them!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 10:26

I'm like you. I hate things up at the windows. No blinds, nets, voile - nada. If people really want to look in, so what? They'll see pretty much the same thing as in their own home. I'm sure my coffee table isn't going to turn them into crime driven individuals 😂 Seeing me naked might cost them a bit in therapy, but then they've only themselves to blame for being nosy!

Spottylu · 09/09/2017 10:32

I love looking into other people's front rooms and gardens. Not in a judgmental way, I just think ooh that's lovely. Then I walk away dreaming of how nice it would be to live in a house like that.
Don't get nets. You'll spoil my fun.

Poshjock · 09/09/2017 10:35

My mum would have loved you! She used to go for walks of an evening because she loved nosing in everyone's houses! She loved Autumn best because it was starting to get dark earlier and people didn't close their blinds quickly enough. She was not a gossip or anything she just loved to see the different ways people decorated their homes. It has left me utterly unable to put a light on without immediately closing a blind though, so all my windows have wooden or roller blinds.

YANBU though, if it doesn't bother you - I am a little envious of your ability!

Mummaofboys · 09/09/2017 10:35

No I wouldn't have nets or blinds either they look horrific in living areas. I'd rather people occasionally look in than having to look at net curtains for all eternity. Tell you husbands family you don't want old fashioned net curtains or office blinds.

kaitlinktm · 09/09/2017 10:38

Yes also in fifties and see nets as rather old fashioned and a bit common

I don't mind being old-fashioned but didn't realise I was common too.

sobeyondthehills · 09/09/2017 10:39

My house sounds similar to yours but I have nets up, I hate people being able to look in, for us it makes very little difference to the light. Its an individual choice, tell your inlaws to jog on

Liiinoo · 09/09/2017 10:39

I always look in windows without curtains or shutters. I find that little snapshot of someone else's life fascinating. So for me YANBU, but, hypocritically I don't know if I would want people looking in at me in the same way.
Our house is slightly elevated so no-one can see in so we don't have any form of window covering which pleases me as I like a bright loving space. Our neighbours house is lower than ours and they have a decorative, frosted sticky-back plastic sort of covering on the lower part of the windows which lets the light through but stops me nosing. It looks very nice but I am frustrated that I cannot see in particularly as they seem very odd.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 09/09/2017 10:40

Personally I prefer this kind of thing ^ but if you don't care leave it as it is.

To not care that people can see into my house?

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