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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not care that people can see into my house?

73 replies

PuffinNose · 09/09/2017 09:50

Right, first off, before anyone accusses me of stealth boasting to my neighbours, my house is distincly average so I am absolutely not showing off or wanting people to see how lovely everything is. It's very obvious we don't have anything worth nicking and we live in a "nice" area with a low crime rate for burgulries etc and security is reasonably good eg no easy access to back gardens etc.
That being said...
My house is on a relatively quiet street (although it's on a main route for the school run) and has a small front concrete yard. Currently without a wall. 😶 It has a huge bay window which allows passer bys to see into my living/dining room and in the right light, into my kitchen and back yard. It's quite a wide street so the house opposite can't see in.
I have curtains but no nets or blinds etc. I don't like them, the cat will destroy them and they block all the light.
I don't have nets/blinds on any of windows.
People do look in, whether consciously or not. I don't actually care.
Husbands family are horrified by this, to the degree that they keep offering to buy us nets. His gran is of the opinion that everything in the house is a womans work and thinks I'm not looking after my family by not having nets!
Husband doesn't care although if forced to chose would probably prefer them (but then wouldn't wash them etc).
Obviously gran is rediculous but am I, for not caring?

OP posts:

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 09/09/2017 10:40

I am pretty conflicted on this issue because I like my privacy but I hate gloom.

We have a bus stop outside our house. People really do love to have a nose while they wait.

I have made my peace with voiles. At least I can pull them aside with the curtains when I want to let the light in.

Firesuit · 09/09/2017 10:44

I had the same prejudices as many others about nets. While I don't have them in my ground-floor living room, which is mostly screened by the garden anyway, I do have plain white voile in the more private upstairs rooms. This is a modern flat, with floor-to-ceiling windows in the bedroom used as an office, and when I stand in the communal gardens and look back at all the flat windows, my flat looks far nicer than all the others. No-one else has similar, either they have nothing, and you can see into messy bedrooms, or you can see the ugly back of curtains, or they have office-like vertical blinds.

Making the flat look better from the outside is obviously just a secondary advantage, obviously the main one is privacy during daylight hours.

LittleCandle · 09/09/2017 10:44

I hate Venetian and vertical blinds. Nets get grubby and shriek - to me - of an old person's house (I'm in my 50s). We have Roman blinds and curtains in the living room, and only close them when it gets dark. I don't care if people look in - we have a nice house. I have a blackout roller blind in my bedroom as well as curtains, as I get the early morning sun in summer time, which wakens me about 3am, and as I am not a morning person at the best of times, that is not a good thing!

Ignore Gran and do what you like!

Notreallyarsed · 09/09/2017 10:47

@TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt you need this in your window

To not care that people can see into my house?

averythinline · 09/09/2017 10:52

I have a stick on semi transparent patch which means I can keep the curtains open and still get light....lots of neighbours have shutters that are half height for this reason I probably would but DH hates shutters!

exLtEveDallas · 09/09/2017 10:55

I have nets. We are an often naked family and looky-loos would get more than they bargained for!

I like my nets. They are pin striped so look a bit more modern than the flowery type. I don't like vertical blinds are they are too 'office' looking for me, and when I had normal blinds the cleaning was a pain in the arse.

The only thing I hate is how dirty they get in the winter when we have the fire going. Then I have to wash them weekly instead of monthly.

MaisyPops · 09/09/2017 11:00

I hate nets. They look awful and dated

I could get away with some nice wide venetian blinds and then keep them open most of the time if I lived on a busy road.

Otherwise, i just don't care enough.

Lesley1980 · 09/09/2017 11:07

Our livingroom window is 2.7m wide & I only close my curtains in winter to try & keep some heat in. I don't really care about people looking in as they pass. It's a quick glance & im never doing anything interesting.

Longislandicetee · 09/09/2017 11:14

Security film....

You can see the nosey parkers. They just see a reflection of themselves.

farangatang · 09/09/2017 11:16

Perhaps you could thank your husband's family for their thoughtfulness, and as a favour in return, you'd like to offer to redecorate their home to modernise it and 'freshen' it up because you're worried that people might be judging them for the way it looks.
Oh, wait a minute...

GrumpyOldBag · 09/09/2017 11:18

YANBU.

Net curtains are vile.

Helena333 · 09/09/2017 11:18

I think it's natural to have a wee gawp! In fact, when I am walking around our area having an evening stroll, I have to force myself to not look straight in to peoples windows, when the curtains are open and the lights are on. (Not so much in the daylight.)

Many people do have blinds around by me. Our home is elevated slightly (about 4 foot higher than the road,) and there is a distance of 40 feet or so from the public pathway to our front window, so people can't really see in that well.

Even though people have blinds, I didn't realise nets were 'old-fashioned' OR common.

(Rude!)

Sorry OP but I would HAVE to have something up. If your DH is unhappy with people looking in, he should have a right to his privacy. Your nan is a bit rude though saying it's 'woman's work,' (sorting nets!) but sadly, a lot of people think like this - older and younger people, and also men and women.

fourquenelles · 09/09/2017 11:19

I have wooden shutters on the inside of my windows at the front. I hate nets (and I am over 60) but live in a "lively" area so need something to discourage randoms having a nosey for anything worth breaking in for (nothing btw).
My second husband's boundary-less mother actually bought nets and put them up in our then marital home while I was at work. Just another reason why he is an ex-H.

astoundedgoat · 09/09/2017 11:20

YANBU. We live in central London in a (raised) ground floor flat and I don't think a single flat on our street has net curtains. I think they look dreadful. We have curtains, and we almost never close them. Sometimes close the shutters. In our old house we lived in a cottage directly on the street and we didn't even HAVE curtains. Yes, people looked in. No, I have no problem with this. If anything it's an incentive to have the place reasonably tidy!

fourquenelles · 09/09/2017 11:21

Oh and when I am Ruler of the Universe it will be law to have open curtains and lights on in the month of November so I can have a good old gawp at everyones' interiors. Hypocrite? Moi? Yes!

Helena333 · 09/09/2017 11:22

@thatswotshesaid

Sorry but that security film over the window is vile. You can't see out!

I don't have any (as I don't need them,) but I would prefer a net .

There is some weird awful snobbery against net curtains on this thread. WTF?! 😂😂😂

Gatehouse77 · 09/09/2017 11:35

I'm with you. When we moved to this house we had a big hedge out front. First thing we did was chop it down.
I'm also nosey and like to see who's going past

Helena333 · 09/09/2017 11:40

Exactly @Gatehouse77 Why would you wanna shut yourself off completely from the outside world?

We stopped in a travelodge room in ealing last year, and the rooms at the back were 80% covered (to about 2 feet from the ceiling!) with that kind of blankout security film (I think it was because the back overlooks private houses, and this was probably included in the planning permission IYSWIM.)

But OMG it was awful! We felt so claustrophobic and 'hemmed in.' Vile it was. I am so glad we were only there for 2 nights. There may as well have been no windows. Although I like (some) privacy, I can't bear to not be able to see anything!

girlwhowearsglasses · 09/09/2017 11:46

God I don't care if people see, we took down a six foot hedge at the front of our garden for security reasons and you'd have to stand and look and you'd look like an idiot if you did.

When we bought the house the Irish couple living there for 35 years had nets on every single window including the conservatory ones! It felt super claustrophobic and they'd smoked 60 a day and we put them all in the bin immediately

Longislandicetee · 09/09/2017 11:47

Our security film is transparent. Let's in light, you can see out! Just others can't see in.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 09/09/2017 11:55

We've got roller blinds custom made with a sheer material behind the main curtains, so they let light in, and we have a view out, but the view in is obscured. It's easy to wind it up when the windows are open or you want to maximise the light. For me, it's the best of all worlds.

I wouldn't want bare windows, especially at night. It looks quite hard anyway, but it is also a security risk as someone with malicious intent can familiarise themselves with the layout and contents of your house.

Helena333 · 09/09/2017 11:57

Can you post a pic of your window with the security film @Blingygolightly, because I have never seen a security film where no-one can see in, but you can see out.

Not saying you're lying by the way, just that I haven't seen it.

Maskoff · 09/09/2017 11:58

I hate nets as well. I have huge bay windows and I used the string door curtains to cover the window they look nic3 and allow a lot of light and a privacy. Cats don't destroy them either.

It's up to you however but I have a neighbour in the basement one time at night I walked passed she was butt naked cooking lol

milliemolliemou · 09/09/2017 12:14

Another no to nets. No one in my family has had them for generations and some lived in cities with street/basement windows. I don't like them or blinds or owt because they're yet another dustcatcher. I have whole wood shutters (eg not latticed) on north windows because they look good, clean with a wipe down, and provide excellent insulation.

On the other hand most people walking back home on a dark evening down city streets enjoy the sight of a lit home and a glimpse of someone else's life ..... I know I do.

So each to their own? In OPs case I would simply say no to the kindly grandma offer and quote dust and mites at them if they persist.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 09/09/2017 12:16

Urgh, I can't bear the 'goldfish bowl' feeling when I visit my in-laws - I've often waved to passers by having a good stare through the bay window as we're at the dining table. The house feels cold and bland.

I don't mind nets but have voile as a compromise as DH doesn't like nets - he likes blinds but I think any blind is ugly.

I'm a hypocrite because I guard my own privacy but love to ogle in others houses. To be honest I think if you've got the light on and no window covering then people are almost drawn to look inside.

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