Cousin stole 6k off me and family still taking her

[Maskoff]

I probably am being unreasonable but I'm hurt and annoyed.
I was close with this cousin and she ended up stealing 6k off me on God knows what probably her cocaine habit.

I fell out with one of her sisters because I called her about what this cousin (her sister) did and she told me not to insult her sister to her because I called her a junkie

Another sister the younger one I'm close with. She slightly fell out with her sister (my cousin) over this but I have looked on her snap chat and the younger sis put up a photo of her and cousin

It annoyed me. It is the younger sisters daughters birthday bit I'm just disgusted anyone in the family regardless of they are sisters or not speak to her

The 6k was my inheritance money from when my mother (their aunty) died which is why the situation is so raw to me.

I actually think yabu.

I get that what she did was wrong. Personally i would not leave that amount of cash in a house. What if you were broken into, or a visitor of your cousins had taken it?

Thats not to say its your fault. Its hers.

However she is their sister. I get that you are angry. But they are unlikely to cut her out forever and probably feel that doing so, will make matters work.

I dont think you should have ever called her a junkie to her sister. I get why you dont want contact with the cousin that stole off you. But you are dragging the others into it. And expect them be ok with you calling her names. Having a close relative who is an addict is not easy. People often dont knoe the best thing to do. But are usually trying to do what's best.

So you got given at inheritance of £6k after 5pm and went abroad before 9am the next morning? If not, then the banks weren't closed...

She is in the wrong.
You have shown very bad judgement.

Don't lend people money. That's what banks are for.

if someone knicks this kind of money for drugs they must be in the most desperate deepsest shit whole.so shes a very poorly woman. I'm not say that excuses it but it explains it. use that to ease your anger if you can.that this wasn't (I don't think) some evil theif just out to gain a few(if she did just steal than she is awful) but the reasoning behind what happened just make it a ery sad situation.and her sisters will need to be there for her.to spend this much on drugs her addciton must be terying for her sister and they will be deperate to save her.
so don't forgive her just place the action where t need to be.anger wont get you anyway. you've lost such an important thing both in money and being left such a gift so of course it hurts.you notunreasonable for that.
and ok if you new the level of her addiction then perhaps it was slightly flawed to leave it.its like lining up a bench of shot to an alchholic and say "your choice"
I'm keeping fingers crossed she get better and one day can either pay you back or apologise talk through all that happened.
but feel the hurt just don't let it stop you from moving on because the only person now feeling worse is you.
they sound like amazing sisters if they are able to at elast try and stick by there sister after hr doing something like this. the world needs more people like this for when people fuck up due to illness.

So. You lent her 2.5k knowing she needed it. Then left 3.5k in her house and went abroad, and were surprised it was gone when you got back?

Mental.

Thank you everyone for advice and the stories also the people who don't agree with me, I like to hear different points of view and I can see more openly now.
I'm not going to cut them off but I'm going to keep my distance.
Had a sleep now I'm not so angry. It's just an expensive lesson and I won't lend anyone money again.

Yeah I'm sorry I still don't get how you received 6k in inheritance money in cash. I've received a few lots of $ through inheritance and they have all been paid into my nominated bank account when the time came

OP said she sold her mum's car (as per her mum's wishes). So presumably, she received £3.5K cash for the car. OP had already lent her cousin £2.5K for her rent, from the inheritance she had already received.

OP, I think you're going to have to put this down to experience. It's an expensive lesson to learn and you must be gutted, but there's little you can do now, other than try small claims court, but as she's not working, I don't think it would be worth the extra cost of pursuing this.

Time to move on and cut those family members from your life.Never lend money to family or friends in the future. If you have a large chunk of cash and can't pay it into the bank, hide it in your own home, in somewhere not obvious, until you can get it paid in.

I wouldn't leave £3.5k lying around my own house never mind someone elses!

Life is all about lessons. And you just got a very hard one. Things like this happen to many of us. Including in some way losing or frittering away substantial amounts of money.

Your cousin has treated you very badly and I can see why you would want to cut her out of your life.
You can't dictate to other people who they are in a relationship with though and it is unreasonable to expect the sisters to cut the cousin out of their life.
I know it is hurtful that they continue to see her as it feels like they don't care about you but you can both not agree with someone's behaviour and still want them as part of your family.
I've experienced times when I've had to be no contact with my sister because of her terrible behaviour towards me but I have never expected my mum to go no contact with her because of it.

I feel very sorry for you OP.
It is shit to lose the money your mum intended for you, but 1000 x worse that someone you loved and trusted did it.

I imagine that she has fully convinced herself she will pay it back but it's unlikely.

I would try and distance yourself and tell yourself your cousins (her sisters) do love and care for you but are stuck with a vulnerable sister who they feel obliged to protect.

Very sorry about your mum and this adding to the hurt

Wait... You said the money was your inheritance, but then you said that the £3500 was from the sale of a car.

I am confused as to which it was.

What a shame this has happened. I'd say keep your distance until you feel you can face them again, but don't cut them off. If anyone asks to lend money from you, tell them you haven't got any to lend and that's that. You have to protect yourself. You can only hope that your cousin will be able to pay you back.

Sisy it's quite clear. OP said her mum's car was to be sold and proceeds split between her and her brother. ergo, Inheritance.

So what do your brother and sister feel about all this as she has stolen their inheritance as well.as i understand it the
£6 000 was to be split between the 3 of you so you lent your cousin some of their money.

Sorry posted too so when you lent her £2500 £500 of that doesn't belong to you. Did you get your sublings permission first?

Judge rinder!

Families have higher tolerance for their family member's bullshit - feel sorry for your cousins. While you no longer have to have anything to do with her, they will be facing a long battle of trying to get her to change while she screws them over and over again.

I've been your cousins, you feel a sense of responsibility to make sure your sibling changes and get's better only to realise after many years that it's all pointless.

A fool and their money are easily parted