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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be happy DH is out tonight?

96 replies

Kronutpearl · 08/09/2017 13:00

DH is out for work drinks & dinner tonight. I love him but I am delighted. I intend to put DS to bed, eat a fish finger sandwich for dinner and read my book watch shite TV

According to my colleague this is weird and loving couples shouldn't want to spend the evening apart ever Hmm

Surely I am not BU?!?!

OP posts:
RoomOfRequirement · 08/09/2017 14:48

DH works from home and he is ALWAYS THERE.

I love him. We have a great relationship. But I can't pretend I don't enjoy it when he goes for a rare night out at the pub!

Colleague sounds odd to me.

Purplemac · 08/09/2017 14:48

YANBU OP - my DH is out tonight and I cannot wait!! DSD and I are going to make chicken kebabs and catch up on Bake Off together, then once she is in bed I get the night to myself! Best part is that he cocked up and arranged it (a very rare night out) for when DSD is here so I'm not even on taxi duty Grin

Helena333 · 08/09/2017 14:55

YANBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love it when DH is away from the house. I mean, I love spending time with him of course, and when I haven't seen him for a day, I appreciate him all the more IYSWIM.

On the occasions we are together a lot, (like if he is off sick, or he has booked a week off work!) he starts to grate on me a bit, as he talks a lot, and follows me from room to room, even chatting when he has something on the telly that HE wants to watch. Confused

So it's lovely when he goes out for a while, and I have the house to myself. And if I get a couple of days; it's BLISS! Then, as I said, I appreciate him all the more when he gets back. Smile

I think it's unhealthy for a couple to spend all their time together. In fact, it's unhealthy to spend too much time with anyone. Even your own kids would piss you off after a while if you were always with them.

I really, really need me-time. DH doesn't. He would be happy if we were together 24/7. I would go insane! Shock

TieGrr · 08/09/2017 15:00

DP is usually out about 3 evenings a week at various hobbies. He's had nothing on the past few weeks and having him home every night has been really annoying Blush

I just want to come home and suit myself a few times a week, without having to discuss when we're going to eat, what we're going to do after, whether he can have the TV on if I'm studying, etc, etc. Last night was great - he was back at one of his hobbies and I had the place to myself for a few hours.

TheNaze73 · 08/09/2017 15:00

They all sound Velcro at your workplace.

Sign of a healthy relationship in my eyes. Good for you

usernotfound0000 · 08/09/2017 15:08

DH is currently away, reluctantly I asked some friends to come for dinner tomorrow night, which I'm now regretting as I would prefer to do what you are doing! I love time to myself.

Helena333 · 08/09/2017 15:15

There is a LOT of posts on here from women saying their husbands don't generally go out without them. Mine is the bloody same. Drives me nuts sometimes!!! I do love him and care about him, but he is a BIT clingy. I mean, I go out without him quite often, but he very, very rarely goes out without me. I literally have to be really ill for him to go without me ANYwhere! That is why I love it when he goes out without me (though it's rare!)

If he has to go to the dentist, or doctor, or for an eye test, or he needs to buy anything - an ariel for the tv in the bedroom, or some new socks, etc etc, he can NOT go alone. He had an appointment at the hospital last month for something he had had checked only last year, (and nothing was wrong!) and he started parping on about 'when 'we've' finished at the hospital. I said 'WE? Why am I coming?' Then he started going doe-eyed and sulky and said 'well I don't wanna go on my own!' And 'is it so bad for a man to want to spend time with his wife?' GROAN

When I said 'you really don't need me there!' 2 hour round trip in the car, and a 2 hour wait in the hospital ) he said 'I'll probably just leave it then. Hmm (In other words, he won't go!)

FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Angry

So I end up going with him, or he won't fucking go! I go without him to where I am going, so I cannot fathom why he needs me to go bastard everywhere with him!

I have another 20-odd stories like this from the past 25 years, but I won't bore you Sad

sorry that was a bit of a rant there, I do love him honestly!

Also, I would also like a few nights (now and again,) where I don't have to think, or worry, about what's for dinner. I would love to just have cheese on fucking toast, but he is all about having a usually big cooked meal.

Still ranting sorry, Blush

hippadoppaloppagorillapig · 08/09/2017 15:47

YANBU. I love it when DH goes out!!

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 08/09/2017 15:55

DH was out last weekend and came to.e quite early and I was raging as was only half way through binge watching real housewives! Him and both DC are away on the same weekend this month so I will have an empty for a whole weekend and I cannot wait !!

pigletpie29 · 08/09/2017 15:56

Ah me too!

I have pizza and wine. And Long Last a Family and bake off to catch up on. Just hoping my toddler goes to bed at a reasonable time. I love having the night to myself! Last time he went out he got back t half 8 and I was gutted!

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 08/09/2017 15:56

Came home quite early

FluffyMcCloud · 08/09/2017 15:56

My husband is away for the whole weekend. Yippee!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 08/09/2017 16:49

Oh I love it if my dh has a night out. It's nice to have some me time at a sensible hour. I know he's the same if I go out too. Doesn't mean we don't love each other but it's good to spend time apart.

Countdowntofour · 08/09/2017 16:55

Hell no. It's lovely having the evening to yourself to just do what you want!!

Merida83 · 08/09/2017 17:13

No no that's quite normal.
I would say I'm in a very loving and happy relationship - but who doesn't love a quiet evening in alone!

Aph413 · 08/09/2017 17:19

I've been working 5 15 hour days a week with my husband for the last 8 weeks. I'm glad to see the back of him on our alternating working weekends Grin

Aph413 · 08/09/2017 17:20

Posted too quickly. But even when we didn't work together I loved having the house to myself for an evening.

QueenofLouisiana · 08/09/2017 17:27

Sorry you lost me at fish finger sandwich! I really want a fish finger sandwich now (on SW diet, have already eaten my bread for the day).

Just that alone sounds heavenly.

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/09/2017 17:34

I want a fish finger sandwich now and I haven't got any in the house. Therefore YABU! Grin

KimchiLaLa · 08/09/2017 18:25

I love my husband. I also love it when he does one for the night and I can eat cereal/porridge/Heinz soup/pasta with cheese for dinner and watch whatever the hell I want, and then get in to bed at 9. Bliss.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 08/09/2017 19:03

YANBU!!! I'm very lucky that DH goes out about every other weekend, but I still love it just as much. My plan for tomorrow night includes a jacket potato (he doesn't like them) with spicy beans, a good book and an early night. Even better, I can vape in the living room!

handslikecowstits · 08/09/2017 19:27

My husband is going away tomorrow night. He said to me, "will you miss me?"
"Fuck, no", said I, with a cheeky grin. He smiled.

His mother and father live in each other's pockets. I can't live in his. I just can't.

Luckymummy22 · 08/09/2017 19:29

DH works shifts. I much prefer his night shifts lol.
He's out tonight and tomorrow night and I'm delighted.
It's not as if I am missing going out anywhere as we are at home with the kids all the time.
Get them to bed, some housework and the Wine and crappy tea.

Luckymummy22 · 08/09/2017 19:30

*crappy TV

RhubardGin · 08/09/2017 19:32

Your colleague is daft!

I adore my partner and him me but we both enjoy some quality me time or time with the girls/guys.

I know a couple who live in each other's pockets and don't do anything without each other, it's bloody weird!

Enjoy OP Smile