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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't ask in real life Aibu?

34 replies

Star141 · 08/09/2017 11:59

I've lurked here for a while and hav decided to post as this is just a question I can't ask in RL so wondering if some wise mumsnetters can assist.
My DS is two years old.
Ever since his delivery which was a normal vaginal, I have had a spongy bit on my front (anterior?) wall. Doesn't protrude from the opening Blush but is visible.
Anyways what I have been told by physio and gp is that after having a child a small amount of prolapse is considered normal and my PF is strong. I tend to find if I keep up with my PFEs then it is pretty symptomless.
So AIBU to think that this is a fob off by hcps? Or is it true that once you have delivered a baby that this is a normal variation.
I also want to have another child. Would I have to accept that this would worsen or does anyone have experience of a second pregnancy where prolapse remained unchanged?

OP posts:
Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 15:01

Anyone? It's so strange that these things aren't discussed in RL. Am I the only one?

OP posts:
Halfsack · 08/09/2017 15:07

Have you been to the doctor n showed them? No experience of this sorry.

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 15:11

Yes doctor and physio. Both say a small amount of wall prolapse after a pregnancy and delivery is normal.
So that's what im wondering Aibu to think they have fobbed me off or does everyone look like this down there after a baby Confused
Also how much of an issue would it be for a second pregnancy?

OP posts:
ToastyFingers · 08/09/2017 15:14

I have this blushes.

To be honest with you, I only noticed from looking in the mirror so I don't know if dd1 or 2 did it to me, but sex is still as it always was. I have to do some acrobatics to insert a tampon though.

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 15:20

This is the thing toasty I'm wondering if everyone looks like this and they were right and it's not really an issue.
Or if it's a fob off because they can't do anything other than surgery and it's not severe enough for that! I just don't know.
My dilemma is if it would worsen with another pregnancy I wouldn't go ahead. But I don't want to not have another baby if it would be fine and it's just a consequence of childbirth for everyone and I'm not weird Confused
Thanks for sharing.

OP posts:
statetrooperstacey · 08/09/2017 15:26

Hmm, same as toasty here. I'm pretty sure i have what you both describe. Had a good look after my stitches etc healed after my first, with a mirror to check the damage 😁
Have five dc now and still looks the
same,, no worse, no continence probs, no sex probs, i do my pelvic floor excersises tho!
If I crouch over a mirror and squeeze/ clench it disappears! Then comes back when I relax. Have a go see if yours does!
Sometimes tricky getting a tampon in, but no other issues.

kiwiblue · 08/09/2017 15:27

Is it really a prolapse? I had something similar shortly after giving birth and was quite concerned. When I saw a women's physio she said it isn't a prolapse, but "mild vaginal wall laxity". They told me it was common and normal. After working really hard on my pelvic floor exercises it is a lot better and they said they couldn't feel it at my last appointment.

TippyTinkleTrousers · 08/09/2017 15:31

I had this and it didn't worsen after my second (huge) baby.

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 15:32

Yes state it's just like a bit of the front wall blocking the entrance but not coming out. I have tried the clench over a mirror and it does go away Blush
Good to know you're got no worse. I wonder if dc1 does the damage.
My gp called it a wall 'laxity' Grin physio said mild prolapse but both seemed to think everyone who has given birth would have something like this. I wonder if we all do but some people just don't look?
Cue grab a mirror to look at your bits 😂

OP posts:
Mummaofboys · 08/09/2017 15:51

I had a prolapsed bowl after my last pregnancy, after a prolapse they recommended a c-section for future pregnancys. I'm having my section on Tuesday. So I wouldn't worry about any more damage if you want a second child.

Mummyme1987 · 08/09/2017 15:56

Yes me too. It's one of those things that having children can cause. Mine is no worse after 3 than it was after 1 to be honest.

ShootingQuadrantids · 08/09/2017 15:58

I've got this too 😔 It hasn't gotten any worse in 18 years though!

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 15:59

Thanks for that mumma? Was your prolapse quite severe if you don't mind me asking? I wonder if they'd recommend a section for me?
It sounds like quite a few of us have that bit of wall. Maybe I just need to just be brave and go for my second.

OP posts:
Mummyoftwo91 · 08/09/2017 16:08

Star mine is the exact same as yours, was referred to the hospital to see a specialist as it was getting me down they said any surgery I would want/need I would have to pay privately for

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 16:20

Aww really mummyoftwo. Did they tell you that yours was too mild/considered normal/not appropriate for NHS surgery?
Did you notice it after your first or second dc? I'm wondering if you noticed it got worse after a second.
I wish people spoke about these things more openly real life.
Thanks for your honesty ladies.
I bet so many people just deny it, the whole 'giving birth didn't change my body or me'.

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 08/09/2017 16:30

I'm soooo happy you posted this! I have the exact same thing and have 1 2 year old DD and am 31 weeks pregnant with the next, I was so scared I was going to gradually turn inside out Blush

It sounds quite normal then, as PP's have said mine doesn't push out but you can definitely feel it and it can be "pulled" back in o.O

My DH has assured me sex is no different for him and it definitely isn't for me, just as PP's have again mentioned sometimes trying to insert something smallish like a finger or tampon means you have to kind of push past it and it feels a bit different, but that's the only change! Here's to hoping it doesn't get any worse with this baby then...

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 16:39

Cherries thanks for replying.
So did you first notice this after having dc1 or in your second pregnancy? And do you feel as if it's staying the same through your pregnancy or worsening at all?
I know exaxtly what you mean you can just sort of push past it.
I worry to about turning inside out I'm not even 30 yet! My oh can't notice it either.
Well if we aren't normal at least we know we aren't the only ones Grin

OP posts:
Mummyoftwo91 · 08/09/2017 16:45

Mine was fine after first but second was after I noticed! Sex does feel different wish there was something I could do but I can't afford surgery! Apparently I'm too young for the surgery as I'm still of child bearing age

zoobaby · 08/09/2017 16:52

I had some damage due to episiotomy and forceps so I got a mirror out as soon as the stitches healed. I noticed the inside "looseness" and enquired.

It was explained to me using the map analogy. Once you unfold a map it never goes back to its original state. The vaginal wall had to do a little bit of stretching so not likely to spring right back. Simplistic and makes sense I guess.

It remained the same after DC2.

Saysomething88 · 08/09/2017 16:55

My friend had this. She had an op to sort it. She kept on until they agreed.

Member984815 · 08/09/2017 17:12

I had this after child 3 . But physio and doc agreed it was more laxity of pelvic floor . The physio said baby one caused it she was 9lb 6 the other 2 were 7lb 4 and 7lb 14 . However I think it was baby 3 being born back to back as in face up . I had to push very hard very quickly .keep up the exercises . I researched loads when it happened me there is a thing called a shelf you can insert to push everything up.

Original poster
Star141 · 08/09/2017 17:18

I wonder then if I could ask does anyone not have it. Does anyone not have a bit of vaginal wall visible after a vaginal delivery?
Maybe we all do to a more or lesser extent and that's why the drs seem so blasé about it Confused

OP posts:
AppleAndBlackberry · 08/09/2017 17:23

I have what seemed like excess skin but actually having read this thread I think it might be a urethrocele. I have some stress incontinence but no other symptoms although things look pretty weird down there...

CherriesInTheSnow · 08/09/2017 17:24

Star no it's definitely not gotten worse! Weirdly it was not apparent shorty after birth but became noticeable not long after, and there must be quite varying degrees because sex is definitely the same, better really because I am quite adamant about pelvic floor exercises.

Also, I think a big reason sex is no different is because it'snot like that alll the time, it can go "back in" to the right position, and tightening the muscles holds it there too, sorry for the TMI Blush

Member984815 · 08/09/2017 17:37

Mine took 3 weeks to appear as well . It felt like I was sitting on a ping pong ball . After months of pelvic floor excercise it went back