Charity shop clothes

[holelottachange]

A few months back I commented on my friend's coat. I was being polite , I didn't really think it was that nice! My friend has now offered me that coat. She said she doesn't want me to pay her anything for it as she got it really cheap from a charity shop. I've told her I can't possibly take it but she won't take no for an answer. I hate to say it but the thought of charity shop/ second hand ( third hand in this case) clothing doesn't appeal to me and I don't like the thought of wearing it. Would I be unreasonable to tell her this or shall I just say I'm not keen on that particular coat. The problem is she shops a lot in charity shops and often gives me items from there which I donate straight back. I feel awful doing that but I don't want to come across snobby

Don't be a snob, then you won't come across as snobby. Job done and you get a free coat

Just say no thanks, you have already got a coat and don't need one. Ask her to donate it back to the charity instead.
( you are being a bit snobby about your aversion to charity shops though).

Why do you not like second hand clothes? As long as they're in decent condition why does it matter if somebody else has worn it before you? If you buy a house someone's lived in it before you unless it's a new build, it's only the same thing

Just tell her the style/fit/colour doesn't suit your own body and that she'd be better off keeping it.

Or just take it and donate it to the charity's shop. Where she can buy it again!

Your friend is being very kind. Accept the coat and donate it back if the thought of wearing second hand clothes is too much for you?

You ARE coming across as snobby, btw.

I don't think wanting to wear new clothes makes you a snob. It's a personal choice, no need to make someone feel bad for it.

If you don't want to wear second hand clothes that's fine, but why does your friend keep giving you her things and why do you keep accepting them? Just tell her "That's lovely of you but I probably wouldn't get any wear out of it really and I just haven't got room for more stuff" and "It's lovely on you but it wouldn't suit me - thanks so much for offering though."

It sounds like she gets bored with things and actually just wants to get rid of them without throwing them away. If you keep refusing things she'll get the message and start taking them back to the charity shop herself.

I think just tell her you have a coat and it would be better used donating it back to charity for someone who needs it.

Yeah, just say you already have a coat and that coat suits her better. Please don't accept as it will establish a pattern of behaviour. Her behaviour is odd, it's common to compliment each other but without offering that particular item to a person. Unless she thinks your circumstances warrants it?

Just tell her you don't need another coat.

Since when has not wanting to wear someone else's clothes been snobby

Just do what you normally do and give it into a charity shop. If she notices you not wearing it and asks tell het one of the kids ruined it if you don't want to tell her the truth.

I don't think wanting to wear new clothes makes you a snob. It's a personal choice, no need to make someone feel bad for it.

^ This. I don't wear second clothes or dress my dc in second hand clothes either it's a personal choice I tend to shop in the sales, it doesn't make me a snob. It's all down to personal preference.

I don't think wanting to wear new clothes makes you a snob. It's a personal choice, no need to make someone feel bad for it.

I agree. She doesn't want second hand clothes - fine. If she had said "How disgusting to wear second hand clothes - I can no longer associate with you", then she'd be being a snob. FWIW I don't buy second hand clothes either, but it would neither occur to me to wonder nor be worried if anyone else did. Wouldn't buy a Range Rover either, for much the same reasons - just doesn't appeal to me.

It's not about just about charity shop clothes also about some one trying to choose how you dress.

Could you say you dont need another coat? I have bought 2nd hand dresses and tops off ebay, but i am funny about coats (weird phobia of pockets haha) its up to you though, if you dont want to wear 2nd hand clothes you dont have to lol

Of course you are not a snob by staying away from charity shops. Just tell your friends the coat might look great on her, but it won't on you.

You need a lot of free time to have the luxury to browse in charity shops, and big stores like Primark are much cheaper. If no one was buying new, there wouldn't be anything in the charity shops either after awhile, so who cares.

Why make it difficult? say no thanks I already have enough coats and no room to store another one! job done

Phew! I was worried this wouldn't go down too well but I'm glad some of you can understand where I'm coming from. I do actually love a bargain and most of my clothes and dc clothes are brought in the sale. I just don't like the thought of wearing something when I don't know who's wore it before. I'm pleased to know that doesn't make me a snob . As for my friend she is always offering me things and when I refuse to accept them she goes cold on me and I won't hear from her for days. It's all a bit odd! I don't want to offend her but I don't think she will understand if I tell her the honest reason

So charity shop donations make you feel queasy?
Is it a germ thing?

I don't like second hand clothes either. I know full well it defies logic.

But moreover, why WHY do some people "not take no for an answer" - I hate it.

And it isn't kind. It's pushy.

She's being pushy. She can't actually force you to accept an item. She can offer it but you have to accept it to be the new owner. She sounds weird if she tries to give you stuff then goes funny if you refuse, there are clearly strings attached. I wonder what's going on there, why is she so desperate to pass stuff off to you?

I have a couple of bits from charity shops but also feel a bit icky about wearing clothes that have already been worn by someone else I don't know. It's hardly snobbish when you might be delighted to wear a brand new £2 t shirt from primark!

"That's very kind and thank you, but no. I just wouldn't feel comfortable wearing it. Thank you though"

Unfortunately people like this don't respond to polite "nos". In my experience it takes getting quite sharp before they back down, often huffing indignantly.