To think I was just sexually harrassed by polyglot children?

[BossyBitch]

Probably IABU, but this shocked me anyway:

I'm an expat in a non-English speaking country (relevant).

So I'm sitting in a bus on my way to the office the following conversation between two boys, neither of whom looked any older than 11 at most, occurs:

Boy 1 (in local tongue): somethingorother English class today ...
Boy 2 (in English - with a really thick accent): I'm arriving at 9 o'clock!
B1 (also English - even thicker accent): more like 9 o'cock [gestures in a way makes it abundantly clear he knows exactly what this means and stares directly at me]!
B1 & B2: laugh, keep staring, luckily get off at the next stop

I'm not really sure what I find most horrible about this? Two kids clearly making crude remarks at a grown woman (albeit probably under the assumption that I'm local and don't get that sort of English), ESL kids even knowing that sort of English or feeling completely helpless at a situation which would have resulted in any grown man being threatened with instant castration.

So, AIBU or just getting a bit old?

As in, be withering. As if they'd been firing spit balls.

Silly kids on a bus can't be compared to grown men. They needed a quick reprimand.

Boys (and frequently girls) at 11 can say rude words - and if they replicate gestures of their 'heros' (from the aforementioned youtube, rap music, films) they will appear offensive and it can feel threatening to those around them.

Difference between an 11 year old boy and a grown man doing it is huge. The man should be mature enough to know not to. That maturity occurs because at 11 they were told it wasn't acceptable (in an ideal world).

Unfortunately English seems to be the international language of smut: people may have no other knowledge of it, but they will miraculously recognise profanities and sleaze for what it is.

I can understand why you are so perturbed. It wouldn't be acceptable on a London bus - that information would go straight back to the pupils' school - so why elsewhere? These boys are growing up to disrespect women.

Are you in the Middle East, btw? Or a Spanish speaking nation? I bet their mothers would be mortified.

Since time immemorial the first words any kid, of any sex, has wanted to know in a foreign language has been how to swear and the name for various body parts.
I have been teaching an MFL for 24 yrs and each year the first year bright spark will request "some swear words".
So much easier now that they're all in songs or an online dictionary. At least when I started out they had to find them in a proper book.

You should have laughed out loud, & muttered "you wish little boy"

Your ageism makes you unreasonable. Those of us of a certain age are not more likely to be more offended or overreact to silly childish but perfectly normal behaviour. We might tell the lads off though. It's rare to see an adult male behaving thus but if they did, I guess they'd get told off too.

I find the "boys will be boys" attitudes on here deeply depressing......

Same here.

Its sometimes kids and early teens do daft stuff.

Daft stuff? Perhaps we should be bringing boys up to not attempt to sexually assault women. Because, yes, what they did was pretty low level, but it's still not appropriate to attempt to intimidate a woman sexually. Why are 11 year olds thinking this is appropriate?

Meh, I couldn't get worked up about it Just two prepubescent boys behaving in a silly childish manner.

OP is not ageist and she is raising an issue that is interesting.

Of course they are kids - that is part of her AIBU. And yes, maybe they should be dealt with by the withering stare and the witty retort - but the question is worth asking: At what point do we say that making wanking motions to a woman on public transport is "childish fun" and at what point does it become threatening behaviour and illegal. That's all. (Maybe 16? Or as soon as they are physically bigger than you?)

I wouldn't have had a problem in giving them a bollocking for being lewd, child or not-it was unacceptable & they should be told so.

Today 07:02 eurochick

I think you might have been living in an oppressive ME culture a bit too long if you find some preteens laughing about a rude word offensive.

^^ this

If this happened in England, no one would bat an eyelid

Exactly, Mirai

I was cornered at a bus shelter once by about 5 or 6 boys of 12/13 years of age. A couple were taller than me. They were making comments, touching me and lifting up my skirt.

I had no idea what I could do to stop it with them being children, because my instinct was to punch and kick them out of the way. So I just let them continue until the bus arrived (not long after fortunately).

I was about 22 at the time.

Would the posters dismissing the OP consider that to be sexual assault?

It is different because they were boys not men. That makes a lot of difference in terms of maturity and thinking of consequences.

You should have said something. It takes a village and all that.

@IfYouHappenToSee

Something similar happened to me on the bus. I pushed them pretty hard and went to hit them. I wasn't proud of myself but they ran away the little fuckers.

Btw they aren't really polyglots, are they? Just horny little boys.

Ime girls are just as likely to behave like this at this age. They're testing out boundaries and need a good,sharp telling off so they know they've crossed the line.

I don't really understand why you'd have no hesitation to reprimand an adult, but you didn't want to do so to a child?

Reprimand if you want, roll your eyes and ignore if you want, whatever you prefer. But I think it's strange to be more prepared to give a dressing-down to an adult than a child.

If this happened in England, no one would bat an eyelid

Which is quite possibly why we have an increasingly unpleasant attitude towards women and a significant problem with sexual assaults. Yes, 11 year olds say silly things but if I heard my son saying something like that to a woman it he would be in a world of trouble. It isn't acceptable at any age - and brushing it off contributes to the sorry state we find ourselves in regarding attitudes towards women and young girls.

OP, you probably should have reprimanded them to let them know it isn't acceptable but at the same time I can understand why you felt you couldn't.

If I have read the op correctly, I actually think you were more rude than them, clearly making eye contact and listening into their conversation.

Send them to macdonalds for a 'beeeg cock'

Don't be ridiculous Zero.

So boys made a stupid remark and gesture which I'm guessing has to do with wanking or sex, and then see a woman looking at them so they look back and suddenly they're leering misogynistic creeps?

For goodness sake. They're pre-teen boys showing off and being little shits.

You were not harassed 🙄

Get a grip.

Some kids sitting behind me on a London bus did this once. They were probably a bit older (13/14?) and even more lewd. They were British but also speaking another language but it was very clear what they were talking about. It was horrible and, yes could have been seen as a bit threatening.
I was pregnant and feeling bolshy and laid in to them and asked how they would feel if someone talked about their sister like that, and what their mum would think if she heard their conversation. They were quiet and sheepish and said 'sorry Miss(!)' afterwards. DH said I should have been careful and they might have stabbed me but they weren't dangerous, just rude.

If my kids were talking about stuff like that in public I'd want them to be pulled up on it. It's not 5 year olds giggling about boobies. It's sexist/sexually threatening and unacceptable and they need to know.