DD dad wants to take her away in term time

[Lavendarlilac]

Name changer with three children.
My DD's dad has texted to say he wants to take her away for a week (abroad) in term-time and asked if I'd pay the fine.
I'm completely against this, even though I haven't been able to take DD and others away on holiday anywhere this year. She hasn't been abroad since she was 2. She is now 7 and would love to go (I haven't told her).
I've told him why I can't agree. He thinks nothing of it. He said he will tell her exactly why she isn't going if I don't let her.
He's never taken her away with him before apart from a couple of nights away at lodges/caravan here and there, but now seems keen.

He will be expecting me to pay his share as I had to last time ('I pay you maintenance' was his excuse).

He's creating the fine - he needs to request the time off and complete the paperwork

I would email the school ^ as above

I take mine out for 5 days per year so I have never been fined

See the fact that he has no idea about her school, the fines, or the fact that you can't just take a day off school for a day out would really worry me. Especially taking her abroad.

Is he actually a responsible parent? Because he doesn't sound like he is. I would be really concerned about his ability to care for her for a week.

And does she have a passport? Will you be expected to pay for that as well?

I really would just say no, it's not possible.

You got fined for chicken pox?? Did you not have a doctors note or similar? Surely they cannot do that it's a contagious disease

Mycat, he isn't the best. You'd think he was an elder brother rather than a father. He is always surrounded by friends, his mum, sister and girlfriend and the activities he 'treats' DD to, are always things he wants to do, like a big kid. Very irresponsible for example, he keeps getting new dogs then having to rehome them as they're hard work and his girlfriend is pregnant.
But I'm not worried about him being a danger, or DD being in danger whilst in his care, and am not one to put obstacles in the way of his relationship with her. She was mute for a period when he stopped seeing her for a couple of years, heartbreaking.
I think her passport is up for renewal come to think of it.

⬆️ whoops, forgot to name change back. Doesn't really matter anyway!
Yes, about the chicken pox, I kept her off school as per the policy, also didn't take her to the doctor's for obvious reasons, so no doctor's note. Only to receive a letter saying her attendance for the year was affected, followed by a LA fixed penalty notice grrrr.

He sounds conpletely irresponsible. No way if be agreeing to that!

Thanks Tiggy. I've found it now using those words . It says any leave of absence may result in a fine of £120.

Where are people getting per parent, per day - is that the exact wording or just from experiencing it?

I wouldn't let her go. I think you should tell him to save for school holidays or take her away for a weekend to something she would enjoy.

You should have appealed the cp fine - that's ridiculous.

Sheffield LEA seems to fine per week as rt parent but not til day 5.

I'd say no for the fact it isn't fair on the other dc.

Speak to the school, let them know your position and then he can try to sort it and pay the fine

I'd say no for the fact it isn't fair on the other dc

What rubbish - they have different fathers and you'll never get 'equal' treatment as they have different incomes and priorities

Id have no issue with her going during term time, she's only seven. As a teacher I have no issue with my students going on holiday but do like to know in advance, the ones who call in and say their child is ill then turn up looking tanned the next week get my goat!
That said no way would I be paying the fine for him and the only way I'd be allowing her to go would be after having that in my hand in cash.
Why were you fined for chicken pox though? You don't get fined if your child is off ill.

I'm thinking I'll let her go. Since I told him I'd be willing to find out more details about his plans and would let him deal with school if it's what he wants, I've had no reply from him.
I didn't pay that fine. I was sent a letter about it, with the penalty fee per parent (informed ex, told its my problem since he pays maintenance), told the school I was surprised to receive it since they knew she was off with chicken pox, and waited for a court summons because I wasn't going to pay it. I've heard nothing more about it.

Then you email him again - he doesn't get to change the law to suit him

If you were driving and got a speeding ticket you can't decide some one else has to pay

Find links to the fine online and pass them on

Email the school saying you aren't agreeing to the absence and her father will be in contact

Thank you, I will.

@GreenTulips it's not the going overseas without the others I'm referring to but the fact that it's happening during school time- most children I know would kill to miss school to have a holiday. If it was in the holidays then I'd 100% be saying let her go