Please someone help me help him sleep. I'm losing it!

[WomanEmpire]

If you are going to be nasty, please don't as I honestly can't take it.
Dc2 is 10 months he hasn't slept longer than 2 hours a night since birth and that is rare. He has been up for the last 2 months every half hour.
Partner works full time. Have a 4 year old too. I have been into the GP about 3 times now, first time given antidepressants and told to leave him to cry. I didn't. I tried other techniques, nothing. Told to do controlled crying again, I didn't. 3rd time I've been doing it for 9 days and there is no improvement. I'm besides myself. He screams and screams and screams. He is up all the time. He is not hungry, he apparently doesn't have reflux, fuck all is working.
I am so tired that I cry a lot at the moment. Partner has tried taking over nights but he's shit at reacting before I'm awake fully and tbh the baby doesn't settle for him.
Poor 4 year old barely can sleep because of the constant crying and I'm due to start my deferred year of uni so soon and I'm going to have to say no because honestly I don't know how the fuck I am going to cope with the workload when I can barely even make a cup of tea at the moment.

You have to get some sleep of a reasonable duration. Lack of sleep makes everything seem so hard. Do whatever it takes, guessing your 4 year old is at nursery or in reception so you may be up all night but could someone have him for the daytime to give you 4 hours straight sleep? mum, sister, friend or child minder. I know it's not what you want but a few days with a bit more sleep ans you may feel able to handle it better.

When he's 1 you could try baby Gaviscon to add to his feeds. You can buy it over the counter for babies over 1. Under 1 you need a prescription. We used ranitidine too in the end, but the very first dose of Gaviscon was like a miracle. She slept for 8 hours with one brief wake up, after months of pretty much waking every 40 minutes.

I was here to suggest cranial osteopathy too, worked for my god daughter. You poor, poor thing.

Have you been seen by a paediatrician rather than a GP? Make sure to get a referral if you haven't.

Check his sleeping environment too. Have you tested his mattress to make sure it's comfortable? He's nice and warm in bed? Babies will wake regularly if too cold in bed.

I agree you shouldn't try to use methods to get him to sleep anymore. He is in discomfort as you know yourself.

My poor love. That sounds awful. Absolutely horrendous. I wouldn't wish that level of sleep deprivation on anyone.

Don't think I've got any great advice, but hopefully it will bump the thread so others more knowledge come along.

Is there anything that makes him sleep during the day, pram, car seat? I used to walk miles during the day so he'd have a decent nap in the pram, that sometimes helped him sleep better at night.
Is he too hot or cold at night?

My son is about the same age and I've gone through long spells like that, it's brutal.
Things that have helped us (obviously all babies are different):
Massively overestimating him during the day, lots of new people, lots of exercise, lots of fresh air and daylight. We've discovered that a few days of intense activity (visiting family) has him crashing out with exhaustion.
Feeding him lots during the day
The odd dose of baby nurofen in case he's teething.
Occasional cosleeping when required.
Occasional dosing with gripe water before bed
White noise, sometimes all night
Blackout blinds
Olbas oil in the room in case he's stuffy

If I'm not feeding him to sleep, I end up cuddling him while rocking in a chair while he goes ballistic at me and he eventually goes to sleep, usually less than 15 minutes.
Do you have any family support? Can you get them to come round for a day or two, get them to take the kids out all day so you can just sleep. Might be enough to just take the edge off your exhaustion as you must be dead on your feet.
And look into getting a different gp, one that's a bit nicer.

I won't say "it'll pass" etc, cause when in the depths of sleep deprivation he'll I usually wanted to punch people who said that. I hope it starts to improve.

You sound exhausted love.. I really feel for you.
My dd was a poor sleeper. I used to make her chamomile tea and she would take it in her bottle. Lavender mist on her pillow and lavender in her scentsy burner def helped.
I've read recently about a new lavender body moisturiser from lush. Apparently it's a miracle potion!

None of these will address the issue of it's a good intolerance or in pain obvs.. just worth a try (if you haven't already). Good luck x

My DD was like this - would only sleep sitting up in her buggy or vertical on one of our chests. Combination of asthma and reflux. Any coughing going on? That was our reflux symptom.

Keep a sleep diary, show it to your dr so they see the severity. Ask for a gastro referral, or as others have said ranitidine. That did wonders for DD until we found out that reflux was allergic reaction to milk and eggs. Once her diet was sorted, her reflux ended.

Sleepyhead was the miracle worker for us after she left the co sleeper and went into a cot. She never slept more than 30 mins in the cot ever. First time in sleepyhead -7 hours and quickly increased. Good luck.

Is he in the same room as you? He sounds like my DS. We moved him at 8 months when I was ready to kill myself - it turns out we were disturbing him.

I feel your pain, it's so bloody hard isn't it?? I'm up again with 6 month old DS, who's showing no signs of wanting to go back to sleep .

My DS is an awful sleeper, CMPA & reflux .

If I were you I would
a) insist on having a months trial of medication for reflux, you may need to be pushy for this.
B) work on improving his day time naps/ by any means possible at the moment, car, buggy etc. An overtired baby is a nightmare to settle.
C) increase his food, offer snacks or porridge before bed to rule out hunger.
D) keep a sleep diary so you can look for any consistencies.
E) look after yourself, can your DH give you a lie in at the weekend?"

Hope things improve for you soon OP.

Try a sleepyhead with the head end elevated with a foam wedge. I know you've said GPs have said it's not silent reflux but worth a try. Slight elevation really helped my DS sleep - not only with alleviating reflux but also helps if they have a cold/congestion or teething pain that might be waking them up.

Personally I'd try gaviscon first (tell pharmacist baby is one) but unlikely to do much as there's no evidence that it works. Then I'd push for a trial of ranitidine. It's a safe drug and there's no way of knowing whether silent reflux is a factor so it's worth trying. In the meantime ask for a paeds referral (will likely take ages so worth doing the other things whilst you wait).

No evidence at all for osteopathy, if you can afford to pay for it then you could afford a private paeds opinion (approx £150) which would be money better spent.

Thank you all so much for suggestions. DP is off to the chemist for baby gaviscon.
We've always used a sleepyhead so that doesn't work in our case!
I have a GP appointment today to have a coil fitted so debating to bring DS2 along with me and see if we can get the ranitidine prescription.
My grandma thinks that they'll view me as an over anxious mother if I go back again - but oh well!
She is here to stay with us for the next week so she sent me off to bed last night and waited on the baby all night.
Sadly we live a long way away from family so this is only a short term solution.

It sounds to me like silent reflux which is hell on earth. The first 8 weeks of my babies life were a nightmare so for you to get to 10 months you deserve a knighthood. If you can get ranitidine it really changed our lives. Within a day of use she was like a different baby. The dose may have to be adjusted as baby grows and they normally start on the lowest dose possible but there is some room to go up to a bigger dose.

I feel for you. Xxx

I'm sure I've missed something in this thread, howev,really, just as an aside, please try checking your baby's ears. 2/3 of mine had glue ear and my middle child did not sleep well for 2.5 years due to ear issues.

My third baby just cried a lot with not apparent reason, then one day just stopped.

I hope you find an answer, reflux or ears or something. I wish you well.

God love you, OP - no useful advice but been there with my LO; just had to wait for it to pass. And it did, at about 11mo.

Sending a massive hug

I feel for you OP. Been through the same. And come out the other side. Mine had silent reflux. Another vote for ranitidine. It changed my life.
And change the formula you use. Try one that is better for sensitive tummies. My DC had a prescription formula due to cmpa.

Another vote for Gaviscon. Dd2 is a co sleeper and between odd wedging herself upright on me (don't ask!) gaviscon and a heated towel or blanket at her tummy we are getting a few hours then rearranging then a few more.

This was normal for me with both my children. It lasted over a year then gradually the wakings spaced out.
My eldest slept through ages four and my youngest aged two/three.
It honestly sounds very normal to me although exhausting.
Not all babies sleep much or well. Sadly I've never had a sleeper.

iwillorderthefood he did have an ear infection about 6 weeks ago, which was treated with antibiotics. He's always fiddled with his ears so on the last appointment I got them to check it again, no sign of infection. Maybe worth following up again?

Very annoyingly the GP called in sick today so my appointment was rescheduled to next Wednesday!

Oh poor you. Do you mean he still screams and screams when you pick him up, or does he stop when you pick him up? And is he in his own room?

Have you tried a white noise/thunder and rain sounds video? YouTube has tons of them with dark screen. Maybe the repetitive background noise would help. It's worth a try.

tallulah he does still scream whilst being held but does eventually settle himself when on one of us.

aqua I think I will try this again. I keep a very quiet radio on in the hallway at the moment but I'm not sure if this has made any difference to be honest!

This sounds shit OP, sorry for you all.

Controlled crying worked for our little one; 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 minutes etc - add 2 mins on every time. Don't pick them up, but smooth their back etc. My DD is now 20months and sleeps well, but when we need to we revert back to it - if she wakes in the night we go in then start the timer etc.

Cranial osteopathy is a load of shit. We tried one session with ours and they just waved their hands over the baby and charged us a small fortune. Then gave it the old 'it needs 7/8 sessions to take effect'. Yeah right.

I should add - ours had silent reflux. Tried a host of meds but the only one that worked was omeprazole.

How is the milk feeding? Ours would hate it and we'd have to trap her arms to stop her pulling the bottle away and basically wait for her to get sleepy before she'd feed.

It was a fucking nightmare.